How to handle finances When inlaws move in to US ?

Mine have not moved in yet. But I know that if they ever do, all financial responsibility will be on us. DH is the only child, so we already are prepared for that. But in our case, they do not travel because they are not close to any of the relatives around the country. Plus, the main expenses will be material possessions.

But I do have one friend whose parents have moved in with them permanently on a green card. Once they have a green card, there are many facilities available to them. They attend a senior citizen center 3 days a week. Free of charge. There is a van to pick up and drop off. Breakfast and Lunch is served there. Due to them being seniors with health challenges, they have been provided with a cell phone with a basic monthly plan - at no cost to them. There is a GP who visits the center once a week and checks them up. Prescriptions cost less than $1 for them since they have a govt issued card. They are not claimed on the son's tax return as dependents. They have claimed that they just live with the son, but no expenses are paid for them by him. Due to this, they even have a lady who comes in 2 days a week and prepared meals for them and keeps in the fridge. She also does basic cleaning and laundry work.

If your in-laws are coming to stay with you with a green card, there are lots of things that you can do for them which will lessen the financial burden on you. Check out government websites, talk to social workers and you will be amazed at the amount there is available.

But I don't anticipate anything from their side as far as ancestral property etc, because there is hardly anything. And our friend also has nothing from his dad.

 

Big problem to be addressed is health insurance. They will not qualify for Medicare and premiums for older people are high if they don't have it.

 

DKI: so what you are saying is that those people are using the welfare system. But if they are in a family who is earning and they are not reporting properly, they can be charged with welfare fraud.

 

While i think in old age parents is their son/daughter's responsibilities, financially also even if we do not get along well.
And ur DH being only child, it will be his responsibility....

at the same time parents need to understand their child's budget and be responsible about it.

Having said that, my inlaws have not moved with us but almost livewith us (6 months every year and we spend for everything their tix to/fro india their stay and other outings )
1) you can work with your DH to figure out the total budget..it does not go well when we (wives) say that we can not have them spend so much ...rather say, how much we can afford so that they also can enjoyt heir trip and we can save for our retirement and rain days college etc.

2) Same thing you can on SIL gifting etc. Basically key is to keep close tab on expenses. A friend of mine who does not have in-laws lviign with her but they r single income with two kids and DH has to help back home a lot with money. SHe trackes every single money spent. Sounds crazy but she finds it beneficial and she said her saving increased by 10%. She looks back last year spening to decide next year budget and see where they can cut. This will also help your DH to see how much is going after in-laws and SIL unnecessarily. If you do that, point out other expenses also which u find unnecessary and not ur in-law's only. That way he does not think u r just not ok for money after them

3) have not looked into Obama care but i heard it helps to so you can check it out.
4) if you are not working i would suggest to start working.... anything...and it help a lot besides money

 

Yes they can be - for the free medical checkups and the other facilities provided. The senior center and doctor check ups and prescription co-pays are still provided whether or not they are dependents. The senior center is also available to non green card holders for a fee of $3 per day and they do not get the free van ride.

There are some people who go one step further and when they have to take a parent to the doctor, they do not sign any of the forms themselves. Make the parent do everything. This way they are not liable for anything and the parent can't pay anything, so it is you and I (general taxpayers) who end up footing the bill. THAT in my opinion is total fraud and something we never plan to do - Penny Wise Pound Foolish.

 

Your friend is very correct - not just tracking what goes to India, but also what is spent here. My husband and I do a budget session 2 times a year. December and June. Set our financial goals in December, and in June we track where we are. We write every single expense in a notebook at the end of the day. Have been doing it for 3 years now, and believe me we really cut down on spending. When we swipe the credit card we don't think too much about it till the bill actually comes home (or maybe not even then if you have set up automatic payment). When we see the $ amounts written down, it sometimes gives us a jolt. The 2 of us have cut down on everything but basic needs, so that we have enough saved up for later and also so that we can fulfill the needs of our son.

We need to spend for our families, agreed, but once we have a family of our own, our own child/children should take top priority.

 

Neither my parents nor in-laws have any plans to come settle with us. They are happy in their respective countries, and visit us for 2-3 months every other year. They refuse to stay any longer as they get bored here and miss their lives back home. My husband is the only child and I have a sibling settled in India.
They pay for their airfares and temporary health insurance. We cover all their expenses in the US. My in-laws do not have relatives here, but a lot of my family is settled here. So my parents have taken short trips to visit them, and we arrange the most convenient means of transport for them. We also pay for anything they wish to buy including gifts. But we do give them extra money to cover their travel costs to the US.
If there are any expenses my sibling incurs for my parents, then I share it equally.
One of my aunts moved to the US to be with her children after her husband passed away at a young age. Her children shared the cost of health insurance, and other expenses.
Medical expenses will be an important consideration for older people, as they do not have as many options available as for citizens.
Otherwise, do try to prioritize your savings especially if you have kids.