FIL mis behaviour - depressed

lovelrishna · Aug 22, 2014

HI ladies,

Good day
I am seeking for moral support or solution for my depressed mind. Please guide me ..

I am from a poor family and i got married without any dowry. my hubby and every one in their family are so good and din't demand anything. my hubby is working in a leading IT company with good salary. Life went peacefully and we had a baby.

after 1 year, my hubby went to onsite for 2 months. In that period, One daymy FIL went to meet my mom place...!!!(when my dad was not available at home). and he spoke to my mom nicely, later he started to speak about my marriage. he told my mom that " He agreed for our wedding only for the sake of my mom" and he was about to touch my mom's shoulder and saying that he will take care of mom till herr last... (with respect to money, relationship etc..!!!!...)

My mom got shocked and pushed him down and avoided him.because of this insident she got depressed.. later she told me this.
its a secret between me and my mom..and she kept it secret for my well being. this happened a year before,.

Now , whenever i remember this incident i get depressed and feeling verrrry bad... I used to cry every night without anyones knowledge. it hurts me a lot...
even i didn't share this to my hubby.. don't know how he will react..

apart from this , i am fine with this family...everyone are so good except my FIL..

What ?should i do to overcome this depression..? Do i need to share this with my hubby?

Please assist me ladies...

deepideepi · Aug 22, 2014

How is ur FIL behavior towards you?? Do he still behave like this to ur mom??

beingloved · Aug 22, 2014

Share with your hubby if you want to. But you should had made it loud & clear to your FIL in words & actions that you knew about all this and can expose him! Why promote activities of such kinda persons by keeping quiet??

BujjiDachi · Aug 22, 2014

talk to ur husband and if he doesnt support youu, just stay away from ur FIL.

time should heal this. you dont wanna spoil ur lovely relationship for the sake of ur FIL
Chillout!

urenigma · Aug 22, 2014

you can talk to ur husband..but there are 2 outcomes to this - he wil either believe u and comfort. But he might also try to downplay this telling ur mom could have misunderstood his intentions, he is a nice person and how u could even think something like that abt himetc etc, you know how it goes from there on. He might feel hurt and that could affect the relation between u and him. Because it his Father you see and not many people want to accept that might be the reality.

However, there is definitely one thing that you must do and do it immediately: let ur FIL know that you KNOW what he has done very clearly and if he dares to misbehave once more you will not hesitate to take this to the next level. You see fear and helplessness is the most common reason of why such incident continue to happen to a particular victim. The moment you show that you are brave.. the predator is taken aback and keeps him at bay and watch his actions.

Iamagoodgirl · Aug 22, 2014

Don't tell this to your husband.Its going to backfire.Just make sure your mom is not alone whenever FIL goes to your home.

lovelrishna · Aug 22, 2014

no he has not behave to me...he behaved only once at my mom..

lovelrishna · Aug 22, 2014

urenigma said: ↑

you can talk to ur husband..but there are 2 outcomes to this - he wil either believe u and comfort. But he might also try to downplay this telling ur mom could have misunderstood his intentions, he is a nice person and how u could even think something like that abt himetc etc, you know how it goes from there on. He might feel hurt and that could affect the relation between u and him. Because it his Father you see and not many people want to accept that might be the reality.

However, there is definitely one thing that you must do and do it immediately: let ur FIL know that you KNOW what he has done very clearly and if he dares to misbehave once more you will not hesitate to take this to the next level. You see fear and helplessness is the most common reason of why such incident continue to happen to a particular victim. The moment you show that you are brave.. the predator is taken aback and keeps him at bay and watch his actions.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your reply. I too had the same dilemma...because my hubby is soooooo faithful and trust his father like anything... !!! so if i tell him, i am sure he will t
rust me for just 10% only... If he do so, I may loose the trust and love with him...

even after thios incident, I used to respect my FIL very well when ever he come to my home...(its my fate ....) my hubby loves him very much and do whatever favors he can do....(both physically and financially) .. My hubby will trust whatever he says.. this over trust irritates me...because he (FIL) is not worthy for that..!!!

and more over, I dont know what has happend to my DH... Usually he used to talk to my parents very well... but now a day he is not so...!!!