Problem with my Co-Sister

Firstly - DO NOT discuss anything about her to your MIL. Things may be very friendly now, but later - this will definitely boomerang. Do not talk about her to your MIL or your MIL to her. Avoid it.
Second, the more you give importance to her, the more it will be a problem for you. it does not matter that she ignores you. Keep a "hi-bye" to her. Do not behave rude to her, just maintain courteous relationship. Why pick up a fight with H for such a person?its just a waste of your good happy time..Forget about her and enjoy life..Give her minimum importance.

 

Let her behave in her own way. You cannot and should not change her. Listen to your husband. Things you can do.

Whenever you visit them, and she serves food, esp your DH's fav ones, be strong. Be polite and ask, akka, this is wonderful. I never knew he liked this curry. Can you please share the recipe with me. She might ignore you or be surprised or even evade the topic. Grab a pen and paper and insist to jot the recipe immediately, lest you forget.

Whenever she shares her success stories, be polite again and say, vow akka. you are such an inspiration. blah blah blah. One of my friend has the same qualities as you and that you are sure you can become the best of friends just like your imaginary friend and you. Start weaving stories about that imaginary friend. Any topic that she starts talking about, make up an imaginary friend/scene and describe it in such sweet words that your DH should love it and you SIL shuts her mouth.

If she ignores you during family meetings, greet her aloud. Akka, how are you. Been a long time we didnt chat. I was waiting for your call after you disconnected. Be aloud so that people around you and her can hear you. She would definitely get frightened or really come back to you. But again be polite.

Be diplomatic and always wear a smile on your face whenever she is around you.

 

I am not sure why you need to posted this here. I hope you are not expressing this in front of her. Because being from a small town and lower middle class or not following fashion is not a sin.

 

First of all never complain about co-sis to your MIL. Since you are newly married, you should try building the relations first, give your best shot and then give up if things don't work out.
Judging people based on their roots and bank balance shows that you have a status problem. Your co-sis might be feeling that she will be now of less importance or she might be slightly threaten by your good fashion sense. Give her a benefit of doubt and help her learn fashion sense from you. In return you can learn the recipes of good dishes she makes to please your husband. Try being friends with her.

You are blessed with good parents in laws, this is your chance to show that you are a good DIL too who is willing to adjust in order to maintain unity in the family.

 

Are you showing her the small town girl,not fashion trendy etc. attitude ? Some times
we don't say anything but our attitude shows what we are thinking about people. Always be polite and courteous when she is around . Don't give too much importance
to her.

 

You sound snobbish and seem to have misconceived notions about your co-sister-in-law. Of all the problems posted in IL in the recent times, yours is the most trivial.
Sometimes, not liking a new relative happens both ways. Two people instantly dislike each other for some silly reason and then carry it too far like a cold war, each thinking 'he/she doesn't like me' and then behave accordingly and then it only worsens.

 

with this kind of attitude you will definitely have problem with her.
There is something called being non-judgmental . Please learn to develop some good qualities. Being 25 I'm amazed you have learnt so much negative things.

You have already a image for her. Now you just want your husband to also stick to same . End result

1.Relationship with DH suffers
2.Brothers break apart and your in-laws will blame you for this.

RP

RP