Abnormal FIL Behaviour

Chin126 · Aug 18, 2014

Hey friends!!!

i jus wanted to share how my FIL kept on torturing me..
Me and my husband used to live happily in US. Last year we went to india for my husbands brothers wedding and got stuck there for almost 10 months. My MIL expired long back. Before going to india he was very nice to me jus as my dad but after going to india all his behavior had changed. He thinks as if i should be like 'typical badi bahu' wearing sarees, waking up early in d morning doing puja(min of 30min) and shuld enter d kitchen and cook for everyone( like the used to show in serials)
Now the problem arises. I'm d only daughter to my parents and they wanted me to come to their place and stay for few days..he used to not like it. He used to show his dissatisfaction and i used to not care bcos my husband supported me a lot thanks to him. Later when my husband left to US i thought of going to my parents place and stay there till o go to US. He wantedly had a big fight and locked me in a room. I finally warned him tht am going go file a domestic violence case against him.
We are happy here in US but he's coming to myplace next week.. I dnt knw what go do.

tinkerbell · Aug 19, 2014

Hai chin..
I understood ur prblm..
Some ppl wen they bcome old..they vl feel insecure and vl try to bhave like a boss...ur fil is such kinda person..
Ok anyways..dont wry..now this is ur place where u r the head of family..I mean its ur life..and ofcrs ur dh supports u well...so b bold..atleast pretend that u r bold enough n vl not tolerate him at any cost.. also treat him nicely as a father and try to make him feel that he is not alone. U vl there for him to take care..
If he trying to dominate u and acting like a boss..jst dnt tolerate and warn him to mind his business and dont allow him to rule u...take ur husb support but make sure that u vl not ruin father-son relationship. .

pear · Aug 19, 2014

Your husband is the only child?

Chin126 · Aug 19, 2014

No. But he is the elder one in the family.

pear · Aug 20, 2014

There seems to be no one when you got locked in.His behaviour shows he expects you to act like your dead MIL.(he may be missing the life with her).Show him to a good psychologist.Avoid following instruction on how to dress from him.

lavanya2000 · Aug 20, 2014

Sounds like your FIL is a big follower of sunTV serial...good to know that your husband supports you.. don't worry.. this is your place & you will have more command & control over him.. ideally he may try to go along since the condition is different in U.S

Good luck.. and be confident.. things will work very well for you

Chin126 · Aug 20, 2014

@pear you got it right!! Every time i do some wrk in my style he used to yell me ur MIL used to do like this... Even the kitchen arrangement and all other household wrk also shuld be done like my dead MIL.. Nw my biggest fear is he is coming here he did nt like my DH to support me like tht. I overheard his conversation with some one saying he's nt at all satisfied with me can't do any wrk( i do it in my style better than my co-sis). He was telling to my DH tht " she is making u dance on her finger tips wake up and look around how the world is thinking abt you" so am soo much scared whether he will start creating misunderstanding b/w me n my Dh

supermom1 · Aug 20, 2014

Hi Chin126,

I cannot believe what I am reading. It is the same exact story that happened to me 9 years back. We had come from US for BIL's wedding, and my ils also behaved the same way, except locking up in the room. I never stood up for my self back then. please don't repeat the mistake I made. Stand up for yourself. ILs don't own us. Things get worse, if we don't stand up for ourself. These sick ILs enjoy suppressing their 'bahuranis'.
Be extremely aware of the tactics and games, especially when your husband is not at home. Keep yourself busy and avoid conversations with ILs when husband not around. Record the any abusive conversations on the phone and send it all their relatives. All the best!

smileyrose · Aug 20, 2014

my inlaws dont do like this.

supermom1 said: ↑

Hi Chin126,

I cannot believe what I am reading. It is the same exact story that happened to me 9 years back. We had come from US for BIL's wedding, and my ils also behaved the same way, except locking up in the room. I never stood up for my self back then. please don't repeat the mistake I made. Stand up for yourself. ILs don't own us. Things get worse, if we don't stand up for ourself. These sick ILs enjoy suppressing their 'bahuranis'.
Be extremely aware of the tactics and games, especially when your husband is not at home. Keep yourself busy and avoid conversations with ILs when husband not around. Record the any abusive conversations on the phone and send it all their relatives. All the best!
Click to expand...

pear · Aug 20, 2014

When a person is dead all thier good virtues gets magnified ,so needless to say no one can match a dead person.
There is something wrong with him ,ask your hubby to take him to a psychologist.
A woman dresses to her comfort and to the taste of her husband ,not to remind a FIL of his wife.
Object him if he treats you like his wife ,otherwise it could lead into a bigger issue.
Trying to control you physically by locking you inside the room is not a good sign.
For precaution local emergency nos.