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My friend's response to SIL issues

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Nd123, Aug 1, 2014.

  1. Nd123

    Nd123 Gold IL'ite

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    I dont have a SIL (husband's sister). My friend has one and there are constant demands for more money, gifts etc and lectures about how her husband needs to take care of her sister.

    My friend gifted and spent money on her initially but always got back bad attitude from SIL. She fought with her husband about it and that didn't help either.

    And of course the favoritism between her dd and SIL's dd got to her too.

    Any way a few months ago at a family function, she snapped and when her MIL was praising SIL, my friend in front of SIL's MIL and husband said " Oh SIL is so good and awesome, hopefully SIL's DH's family is able to improve and get rid of all their money troubles so that she can relax and not have these constant issues" And boom went the bomb.

    SIL's MIL goes " What do you mean?" And my friend very innocently says " Well I thought that you were having money troubles because SIL always complains that you are not able to not able to afford almost anything. I thought that the reason that she asks us for stuff is because your son does not have a good job in spite of being so talented."

    Well any way, her MIL was pissed, so was her husband, but SIL's MIL said don't get anything anymore from your brother.

    When she first told me this, I thought that she crossed some lines by insulting her SIL's DH. But seeing that it resolved her issue, I thought I'll share.

    For all of you who are suffering from SIL demands, speaking about SIL's DH insultingly just to your MIL and SIL may work....

    But like I said, I don't have a SIL so I don't have a lot of insight into this.
     
    6 people like this.
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  2. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    This doesn't sound right....:confused2:
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    What she did was not so bad.The way she did was not right.Her problem was sil...she probably ended up insulting sil's mil.
     
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  4. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    You thought right, she DID insult her SIL's MIL.If she had said the same thing to her SIL's husband, it may have been a better solution I guess. But again - if it solved her problem,good for her.
     
  5. JustAnotherMom

    JustAnotherMom Platinum IL'ite

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    I like to see the bright side of this.

    Either way your friend is going to be the bad DIL, at-lest now she is saving few bucks :D.
     
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  6. rohinipadi

    rohinipadi Silver IL'ite

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    Actually this solution might cause more damage . I would be very cautious in executing such plans.

    RP
     
  7. Weasly

    Weasly Gold IL'ite

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    As i see it , only the mil of sil had the power to stop the sil from asking for money! Thts where the hammer was hit!!
     
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  8. JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

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    The problem is very real, and the solution executed perfectly as well ! Definitely need guts to do what was carried out.

    But will I do it ? I dont think I will.
     
  9. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    I am not sure how much your friend was financially affected by the money matter, so I would say that whether this is right or wrong depends on the seriousness of the situation.

    This is like a headache-only the person experiencing it knows the pain.

    One point that stood out for me in your OP is the favoritism between grandchildren. If the poor child who has nothing to do with MIL-SIL-DIL equation, had to play second citizen because MIL does not like the DIL, IMO there is nothing wrong in putting a stop to this by bringing SIL's MIL into the picture.

    Sometimes the momma bear needs to come out in some form.
     
    sindmani, Weasly and yellowmango like this.
  10. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    I think your friend did the right thing, there is no use in covering up the issue and your friend suffering, now your friend's SIL will pay for what she did, hopefully your friends DH will support her.

    What is this statement "That the brother has to take care of the sister" ?
     

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