Back to WEEKDAY Home! Stood up...fought back...AND LEFT!!!

drnamshara · Jul 26, 2014

:wave Long thread! Sorry....

Ater 2 weeks I went to ILs home last eve sincerely with all the list of pooja requirements which MIL had instrcuted on phone...Reached home to her tauntfull welcome...Held on to more taunts and belittling till bed time about how the veggies I have bought are over ripe...the flowers dry..the coconut too tender I dont have any life expirience etc

This Morning a couple of hours of non-stop accusation targeting SILs MIL who is supposedly faking her periods often quoting menopause as a reason...she is crude...making SIL do all work...SILs FIL is such a coward...he supports his wife etc etc

Next target?? ME of course!
-->You dont know how to plait your hair until the last strand!!
-->Dont wear that silver bindi.
-->Dont you dare wear your panty or bra while you are in sanctity mode till pooja is over!!!!! (???Why? It is auspicious to let divine vibes flow b/w my thighs and in???) Sorry ladies!
-->How you tie your sari pallu around your waist shows exactly your skill in home making and your dignity! You have none!
-->I will give instructions. Cook accordingly.

I Did it all as per her instructions....
Sadly the rasam turned a bit dark itseams! gigglingsmiley

FIL, my priest, was ready for me and I went and sat for the pooja next...
From that very moment she was going on and on and on I dunno how to cook...i dunno how to shop grocery...I dunno how to make a feast...non stop!!!!!!

I was just not able to concentrate on the pooja :bang....I held on doing the pooja mechanically...Finally I gave back saying WOULD You please stop I am not able to concentrate.

She blasted!!! You must listen to me also as you are full of mistakes I will keep telling and do the pooja also side by side.
That is how you have to take things when you are such a wasteful person!

I lost it completely...Then there were fire crackers!!!! Worstest of abuses at me..
I just wanted to finish the pooja as it was done for DHs wellbeing.

One particular sacred thread to be tied around wrist I went to tie it myself after FIL instructed...she came running to thrash me!!!!

I held on one bit biting y teeth hard gave the thread to her to tie....somehow wanted that thread around my wrist...Then the customary haldi-kunkum ritual which she has to offer...she did it along with lot of abuses "if you want to be in this house be under my chappal and do as I say and follow all my instructions you S*UT...do hell with your education.."

I disgustingly asked her...you are saying all this infront of the god???? You claim you are all elder and all knowing...you think anyone will respect you if you speak all this garbage infornt of god???

And because I answered back and was really loud she brought my mom into picture and said unimaginable things...just as I had quoted in my previous thread...I ROSE and there were louder fire crackers!!! She brought my dad into picture...called him MY WORKING MOMS GULAAM and that he stands folded hands infornt of mom etc

NOTE: SILs FIL is a coward...my dad is a GULAAM!! :rotfl

DH said pack....go home..

I could hear her saying that she dint want a WORKING B*TCH as a DIL...no one listend to her....and that I dont give her a penny...10 months I made her wash my bum as she fed me for free!! (due to work hours and daily long distance traveling I used to have only daily dinner at ILs place..that too just half serving of curd rice on most days)

Said that now I am going to room and complaining to my DH..obviously why not? As I expose to him in the night....and he wants me beside him to fulfil his marital pleasures....Her cherry on the top dialogue:
"May you boths romantic intimacy get burnt to ashes "

I packed...i left..DH came to help with my baggage...she told him COME INSIDE in a loud authoritative tone. He was about to go in and she almost banged the door to close it and not let him out! He pushed and came with my bags. She stood at the gate and cursed me more and more as I left with out eating the festive food...

DH dropped me to the bus stop said that he will come a little later (he is down with fever )...he also said that things would only get worse if he spoke back at her....asked me to contact police so that she dosnt harm herself and blame me!

THE END.

Or I Guess...this is THE NEW BEGINNING?? :|

Time will tell...

cheenu123 · Jul 26, 2014

INCORRIGIBLE!!

Had I been at your place I would not have cared at all for that puja! And that too for the well being of a DH whose only reaction is to ask you to pack your bags and go home?? Don't mind but even he also seems to be equally scared of his mom! That lady has loads of audacity as she can use such menacing and derogatory language for her DIL! You must break all ties with her at once if you have even an iota of self respect.

yellowmango · Jul 26, 2014

This is sick.This woman either should be in a mental asylum or behind bars.
Please don't ever step into that house again and don't let her into yours.She is your husband's problem...let him deal with it.He has no right to bring this S@#$ into any one's life.If you had recorded this...it would be evidence enough to put her away for a long time. Please don't put yourself through this again.No human being deserves this.

chillbreeze · Jul 26, 2014

OP, totally agree with YM. Reading your mil's words make me sick. She doesn't deserve an iota of concern from you. Please stop worrying about what she may or may not say hereafter and focus on your life only. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Please don't ever go back there and be very cautious and tread carefully if after some time she says she wants to mend the relationship between you both.

PS. So you have a whole day free ahead of you. Do something you like and enjoy your weekend.

drnamshara · Jul 26, 2014

yellowmango said: ↑

If you had recorded this...it would be evidence enough to put her away for a long time.
Click to expand...

As I was not supposed to touch anything around till pooja is over I did not have the cell with me....but anyway when I could not tolerate enough I went up got my cell and tucked it to my saree and recorded almost 32 mins of abuses yellings and rantings.

Now I dunno if i should get a protection complaint written at the police...as I mentioned in another thread...she may threaten suicide like she had done to my H earlier!

drnamshara · Jul 26, 2014

I wonder which MIL will use these kind of words no matter what mistake the DIL might have done....If I translate those words and more in my regional language and play it in my head again and again I feel like getting physical with her myself!!!! Witsend HOW DARE!!!
I am so hurt! But I am glad I had the courage to stop taking crap from her! I valued my self respect today finally!

PS: She is suffering from Paranoid Personality Disorder..
Sad part is this disease has no cure as the main 'trust factor' is absent in the person and they are hyper-vigilant even about their counselors! Google it for more..

That is why she has seen 3 counselors and no success as she discontinues and feels that every one around have ego then why she should take treatment!

MrsBV · Jul 26, 2014

one thing i dont understand here OP is your DH's stand. How can he go back to the house where his wife is treated like ****. I mean, come on, you say he is unwell and he is scared that his mother might do something if he speaks out in your defense, I found that to be complete bull****. You stood up for yourself today which is very good but why didnt your husband do the same? and he should have done when her rant started. One thing is for sure - you need to have a talk with your husband about this? And request you to please avoid your ILs place now (how much ever your DH insists). He may find that behavior normal but make it clear to him that you have been brought up in an environment where you have learnt to respect every individual and if there is someone who doesnt treat you well. you would not like to maintain a relationship with them even if its your MIL. And you will need to have the hard talk for sure and stick to your stand. You have taken the first step I hope you will be able to continue being strong. Take care.

hope2b · Jul 26, 2014

Yay, finally. Now, don't you dare to be back to that house for mending and peace in the future. 3 cheers for your H to have taken you out of the situation for ever, hopefully. Try to make sure now he doesn't go into depression due to guilt piled on him by his mom.

Keet · Jul 26, 2014

Definitely she is mentally sick and needs treatment. What would you do if your patient has paranoid personality disorder. I am not asking you to take her crap. But other than that please think what can you do as a doctor to treat her.

Can you admit her in your hospital and ask a psychiatrist to speak to her and give her confidence that no threat for her position at home. As a doctor pls don't say there is not treatment for any disease. You always should give hope to the patient. If she refuses to come on her own. Just mix some pills that can make her drowsy. Can you treat her just as one of your mental patient.

How does she treat her daughter? Can you ask your SIL to talk to her mother. This old woman might open up to her daughter about her fears.

If you feel this is just MIL dominating her DIL, don't care about her or the treatment.

PS: was born to a lady who had this behavior, finding fault 24 x 7, yelling belittling etc.

jigisha321 · Jul 26, 2014

Your MIL is ill..i mean she needs some anger-management courses...keep away and stay away..or refer some good psychiatrist as a helping gesture..I am not joking..she needs treatment.

My MIL has dramatic nature also..cursing..banging head is fits of rages...wailing..have faced all of this quite a lot...Last time I told her firmly not to behave like that in front of me and thankfully now she does all this behind closed doors..I speak bare minimum with her and just the basics...our topic is only my DD...anything else she says I say yes/no/ok/pretend to be deaf...I just ignore or reply monologues when she tries to make conversation..because she is sure to veer any healthy topic towards taunts...so i do not bite the bait now...give her blank smiles now and then when she tries to show friendliness...i know that black can take no other hue..