My lessons- for others

I am posting this for thanking you guys for all the help.
I am still in KG when it comes to being thick skinned or saying my mind..but thanks to you all i did a couple of times and seeing good results...so thought I would share and it may help others.

- First two weeks of my inlaws stay here with my SIL and her hubby. And a fight broke from my MIL for nothing (not going into details here as not needed) but my SIL also saw MIL was baseless. I also raised my voice instead of staying timid and said "i m sick n tired of being judge all the time for freaking 15 yrs" and my MILs typical weapon is "we will go back" i replied "Be my guest"

and things changed after that.....she is little scared of me and I like it :boo:


- I was so sick and tired of her telling me everything what to do in a micromanaging way , be it doign dishes, clothes or coooking....so this time i told her "she is growing old and should not be carryign any responsibiities...and i shd manage all" She wanted took the bait...she wanted to actually see if I can manage especially now that my son is much older and i run around a lot for classes an shcool projects....but i was confident...she did not come to help a couple of time but i still did all without rush , nicely and faster....and when she tries to come to help i added, that she i managed those days , i will manage now so not to worry" .

Yes for me it is more work but it is better than hearing her constant comment :yes:


- I my MIL is so dependent in everything from switichign on TV to going out.....she always wants me to be with her and when I am not there FIL. SO when i come home it was a big task for me just do everythign with her - watch the shows she watches, sit down in the night before i go to bed even for 10 minutes...and just keep talking constantly and listening to her relatives stories liek 1000 times....some of it still there but since i praised some MILs who keep busy doign their stuff and help out by sitting and steering away other wise, now my MIL learnted use of Ipad, watches tv show on it, plays fruit ninja and flow.

Still not completly by herself, she still would make my FIL sit next to her or will rush to me so kind of still wanting company but now I am kind of happy that MIL tries picking up ipad and play with it , i can brush it off after showing a couple of step and ask her to practice :clap


geez now i have a long list i want to change her for better , do not know if i will ever get to those....but this is a start:wow

 

thanks with your feedback and i understand what you mean.
I have been down that path for 15 yrs that I have been married for without a success and i really wanted to be off of my back.
Anyways, i do not see situation improving with help even if she offers as she is 76 and getting feeble. I know eventually in 5 yrs i will be doing everything why not now.
I let her manage half of the lunch since I am not home then. She likes to come to grocery shopping so i do it with her, and she helps out washing veggies and putting them away. But that is the extend of help i take. as i forsee in a couple of yrs, that is all she will be able to do .

Thanks for different viewpoint though