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Great in laws, except.....

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014.

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  1. Jul 24, 2014 #1
    Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    Hi All ,

    Just felt like sharing to get it away from my chest. I could not ask for anything more in the way my in laws treat/behave with me. They dont interfere or bother me with anything. MIL even does things like washing a fruit for me to eat , asking me to go watch TV when I offer to help in the kitchen , fold/pack my clothes when I am in a hurry. She is a dream MIL. So far , so good. She does NOT expect any gifts/money from us.

    Here comes the issue - Co Sister is a housewife ( by choice ). Since I am working , my in laws have this attitude that we should spend money so BIL can save ( ex: in laws tkts to US to help them with their infants). Well , I might have even been happy to help but for the fact that - the help is taken for granted or worse - we get attitude in return.
     
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
    #1
    1 person likes this.
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  2. Jul 24, 2014 #2
    Kera

    Kera Gold IL'ite

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    How much are they asking you to help with? Since your MIL and SIL are doing lot of the work, think of it as paying for those service.

    Again depends on how much they are asking
     
    Kera, Jul 24, 2014
    Kera, Jul 24, 2014
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  3. Jul 24, 2014 #3
    gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Well, since you have in-laws that are treating you well - it would be wise to give them some support. What makes you think that you may be taken for granted? Have they mentioned something in the past?
     
    gauridinesh, Jul 24, 2014
    gauridinesh, Jul 24, 2014
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  4. Jul 24, 2014 #4
    Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    Well, if you have everything good with PILs, make some compromise.

    I am not saying you shoul spend n everything for SIL but pick and choose those what a son wld spend anyways.

    For example like you said tix to US - say not for baby but if they just want to go and visit daughter - typically in Indian culture daughter can't sponsor parents, anyways son takes care of it.
    Another example would be if PILs wants to buy some Indian clothes for SIL so that she can save money yeah that is fine as well.

    But if they say, let's gift them set of furniture , or let's keep sending baby clothes n toys frequently all of that should not happen.

    By helping SIL, do stay in good books of PILs but at the same time draw a boundry where you would where you would not

    my 2 cents
     
    Anamika99, Jul 24, 2014
    Anamika99, Jul 24, 2014
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  5. Jul 24, 2014 #5
    Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    Ladies - its not the SIL - its BIL and Co-sister.
    I might have been more prepared if it was a SIL.
     
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
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  6. Jul 24, 2014 #6
    Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    Again not SIL , co sister and I have never had one nice gesture from her. Her behavior has varied from cold , completely ignoring me , civil to friendly
     
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
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  7. Jul 24, 2014 #7
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Meghaa,Count your blessings.You have wonderful Parents in law. Instead of expecting perfection, think of so many others who have horrible inlaws and let go of this one 'taken for granted' expectation.
     
    Ragini25, Jul 24, 2014
    Ragini25, Jul 24, 2014
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    sindmani, seekingbless, pear and 3 others like this.
  8. Jul 24, 2014 #8
    Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    Aha....i gues now i see where your question come from. It is tricky. If they are in need and ask for help and borrow then it is a different story, else hard to support

    Still make some adjustment, probably drawing not too liberal boundry but still try to support a little since PILs r good
     
    Anamika99, Jul 24, 2014
    Anamika99, Jul 24, 2014
    #8
  9. Jul 24, 2014 #9
    Meghaa

    Meghaa Silver IL'ite

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    ;-) Now you get it :)
    Nope - there is no asking (atleast not from BIL, Co-sister) , just silently letting hubby do things and then throwing attitude at him when he needs answers/information from them.
     
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
    Meghaa, Jul 24, 2014
    #9
  10. Jul 24, 2014 #10
    gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Is this BIL elder to your husband?
    Why has she been behaving cold to you? I'd say dont over indulge them. Stick to supporting them as per need.
     
    gauridinesh, Jul 24, 2014
    gauridinesh, Jul 24, 2014
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