Ils trying their very best, to present me bad in front of dh

The posters in here are right to point out your husband as being a key person in all this.

Your husband needs to understand that there's not a very happy future together if his parents and he continue this back-handed way of dealing with things. It's his responsibility to be upfront with you, care for you and respect you as an adult...not some toddler that has to be kept under constant monitoring.

If you husband does not know how to show you respect, why will his parents? I believe that most ILs issues can be resolved if the husband himself genuinely respects and advocates for the wife. Your husband may have appeared to, but his inability to be transparent and to "spy" on you via his parents so to speak...is all very, very weird.

I would also encourage you to set up a google voice number with your current phone if you live in the US. Google voice can be linked to any phone line (mobile or landline), you can set up voicemail, it keeps track of all your calls/SMS, too like gmail does. Best of all, you can record any conversations, too, if you should so wish, which could be helpful if your ILs are the kind to twist what you've said/done around.

In any case, focus on yourself and making sure that you're not having to apologize or explain yourself over things you have not done wrong. I realize how upsetting this must be — maybe you can also consider taking a break to go visit relatives or go somewhere with your friends?

 

OP,
if it was a conference call number, then yes it will come as not available. Is it a 1800 number? Then there is a pin you have to dial and then you will be admitted to that conference.

Next time if you feel something is fishy, try to get out of that situation ASAP. Dont stay on the line and continue the call. Make an excuse that you are busy and offer to call them back at the same number. But get off the phone.

Of course he will deny it...and try to confuse you... why would he admit it? first you confirm the number, if necessary by getting your own cellphone records and if confirmed stay firm. Overall I agree with nd123 advice. What do you have to lose..what more should happen with you...this itself is heights. First confirm by yourself, if u r very sure then dont take back the accusation, Create a big fuss, give back silent treatment, make your h realize he is jeopardizing his marriage with these stupid games...only if you give a very big reaction will they realize they have gone too far... either refuse to speak to ILs or record all their calls...but dont be rude to them and give them more ammunition...you really need to get through to your h...this is too much.

 

Hi OP,
It is tough being the subject of doubt by the person you value most, it helps a bit to be a bit detached when IL's topics arise. You can refuse to speak with them but don't get emotional.See... I suspect the scenario was this ...your husband might have stood up for you and asked your FIL why he is not being respectful to you... Your FIL might have said "I am always respectful but your wife is disrespectful I can prove it", now if your DH says no...he thinks he is being unfair to his parents....not saying what he did is right....unfortunately unless you lie low and act ( you just have to act,not really submit to everything, just say ok and do what you want) as if they won...the accusations will keep piling up.

 

Glad to note it ended in a good way. Just tell him that you both should be one strong unit. Let him love his parents, assure him u will also respect his parents. But emphasise to him that when it comes to conflicts, even if he does not want to offend his parents, let him remain neutral and only then the bonding between the couple will grow. This is very important for every husband to realize.

 

May be now its ur turn to turn the tables on them for setting you up like this. After some months or whenever you get a chance record fil talking rudely with you by keeping phone on speaker phone and then show it ur H. Seriously husband doubting and hence insulting your integrity like this makes me angry on him.Grrrr. Sorry if the suggestion is too out there.but they did team up to set u up.

 

Ohh late entry, already serial was end.

so edited