Property issues

sweetestshweta · Jun 3, 2014

Hello everyone..
Read a post on division of property between brother and sister on this forum.This got me thinking.
From my earlier posts you must be knowing that I have a dufferent situation.My SIL and her kids are permanently dependent on us.She has cut all ties from her inlaws.Her kids are in school right now and it'll take atleast 10 years before they become independent in life.No issues with that.I have accepted this and we are trying to give them a good childhood,education and a good living standard.
This post somehow made me anxious.My MIL is a very very biased lady and is always in one way or other trying to extract something or the other-money,jewellery,similar products etc etc from us for SIL.MIL and SIL are both very jealous and competitive types.MIL has many times hinted that SIL's kids might not keep her in future and in such a case,she'll stay with us.
Now I wanted your suggestion regarding the property issue.
Husband till date hasnt got anything from his side.We have earned everything ourselves and have never asked for any share also.So much so that whatever rent etc comes from the ancestral property,my MIL only takes it(She already is getting pension also).She doesn't share it with SIL also.So we have to shell out money alongwith BIL for SIL's expenditure.She isn't working.
One house was sold sometime back.we were never told about it.The money straight away went to SIL.
Not that I want share in their paternal property but I was just wondering-if it will be an issue of tussle among the kids of BIL,SIL and mine?Because although all the properties are in combined names of MIL,BIL,DH and SIL-yet we have never got a penny nor is the rental income etc is used to bear SIL's expenses.
We were going through a rough patch some time back and I am not working from a year so I once suggested to my DH about selling off some share of his..But this was frowned upon and created a lot of issues..
Please suggest from your experiences what should be done and do these issues actually can affect our kids later? How to communicate and sort out all this? All the property is combined and no demarcation hasnt been done yet..
DH and I dont have any separate property as yet.BIL and SIL have a couple of independent houses and lands separately too..

RADIODOC679 · Jun 3, 2014

Dear Op!
Your fears are true-You & your husnband are working & maintaining your family,BIL,SIL,MIL while they are not contributing anyway to the expenses.This will tell very badly on your future.Make your husband understand with patience that you are looking after his dependants but your children nee to be secure too& why isnt SIL/BIL working-today people with 10 pass are also working .What's their excuse??10 years is a very long time to take care of someone,their children etc..With inflation etc..i'm afraid nothing might be left for you in the end.Try to consult a property lawyer& find your rights& exlplain your hubby nicely,
SIL&BIL have independent properties-why they are not leasing/renting them & using it for their expenses,must atleast lessen some of the burden.Looks like they want the cake(property)& also icing(hubby salary).

Nd123 · Jun 4, 2014

Posted on the worng thread

sweetestshweta · Jun 5, 2014

Thanks Radiodoc..
I think I didn't make it clear.BIL is earning.He and we are taking care of SIL jointly..
I tried talking to DH about it but he thinks this will create rift in the family..

sweetestshweta · Jun 5, 2014

Nd123 said: ↑

Posted on the worng thread
Click to expand...

No ND..Its in the right place.. I wanted suggestions and experiences of this sort from the members if they have faced something similar in the hands of in laws..

han412 · Jun 5, 2014

Joint property is a big time hassle. It will be tough on the kids if the issues are not sorted out in your lifetime. But here comes the big question are the heirs ( your husband, MIL, SIL) willing to sort this out? In case of joint property everything has to be properly demarcated and everyone has to be in agreement to proceed. Also when property is divided no consideration will be given that SIL/BIL was not working for 10 yrs, you paid for all household expenses, you will take care of her in old age etc.
These issues linger for generations if not sorted out.
If your husband thinks it will create rift in family... what can you do other than to try to convince him.... he is the heir..... and what if what he says come true and the partition does create a rift. Are you strong enough to carry the blame?

yellowmango · Jun 5, 2014

Since both brothers are taking care of Sil as she refuses to take responsibility of herself and her children...it is quite clear that your family and bil's family cannot invest in their future as much as they would have without sil's responsibility.

Talk it out with bil and have a family meeting where the property issue is clearly demarcated.Tell mil that you fear for your families future as you don't want to be left high and dry after taking on added responsibility for life.You need to know that your husband's share in the property is safe on paper . Sil cannot make you people pay for her family and then get a lions share in property too.

han412 · Jun 5, 2014

yellowmango said: ↑

. Sil cannot make you people pay for her family and then get a lions share in property too.
Click to expand...

But sadly it will happen as it is legally the right thing to do. She is entitled to an equal share of the property regardless of any expenses borne by you for her. There is a recourse she can voluntarily gift some of the property to her brothers . Talk to your family about your concerns.

SGBV · Jun 5, 2014

I think your SIL is a widow or separated. She is not working, and a complete dependent on her FOO when it comes to financial matters. Its good on you to allow your H to take care of her family. Same goes to your BIL's family too.

Now you can involve BIL's wife and see how far you can help her. While receiving helps from you, she can still look for jobs, part time business etc..etc... Since she has children, such savings matter.

Further deposit some money to her name instead of sending it in installments. Ask her to manage with the interest of that FD.

Take the first initiative since you are highly concerned about their future, but involve others in the family those can understand you.

Make list for her monthly expenses. Divide it, and see who can contribute to what. Your MIL who receives a pension can also contribute some.

As per law, she has equal right in any property. So, make sure that she uses them for her needs. MIL's share can also be of help
Further, if you guys are renting your properties, let her use the rent for her needs
But the property still remains for you.

persecutedDIL · Jun 5, 2014

I agree with han412, YM and RadioDoc. It will be a big time issue in future and you would also not want your kids to have that yucky feeling that they are superior than their cousins (SIL's kids) because their parents took care of the cousins. Children can grow up to either have this obnoxious feeling or start hating their cousins for the fact that due to them they lost out on a lot of good things in life. And if you think about it, SIL's kids are the victims of circumstances while SIL is not.

You need to end this here and once and for all, so take up the following steps:
1.) Call your BIL and Co-sis. Try to get their buy-in.
Do a rough check of who contributes how much for SIL's family
2.) Do a rough check for your major life-expenses( e.g education of two kids, marriage of two kids, higher-education of 2 kids) and the added burden along with your BIL and Co-sis. See whether you can support extra expense without having to miss out on important things in life
3.) Have a meeting with SIL and MIL and discuss all of the above
4.) Ask your SIL to find out how much share of maintenance or property she is entitled to get from her in-laws. Ask her to claim that for the good of her own kids.
5.) Ask your SIL to look for a job. How educated is she ?

Of course, for all of the above, you need to get the buy-in from your husband. Since it is for your children's future, you need to get your hands into it now itself.