Dear Mothers,Please lend me your ears!

Dear Mithali
Another wonderful post of advise............
So well said..........Sometimes when I am upset I always go and cry out my heart to my mom but she will never interfere in my matter but in return will advice me you should not be rude or speak harsh words, such things happen, when you cool down one will understand ones mistake.
Thank Mithali for writting such wonderful write up for us.............

Dear Aruna
Thank you.I have actually seen families breaking up due to in laws interference.I had to share with you all what I felt about this issue.Iam happy you liked it.
mithila

Why,my good friend ,you can always share your thoughts with us.
mithila

Dear Vandhana,
Thank you for the comment.We mothers get hurt when our daughters hurt.The immediate reaction is to show our disapproval in some way or other.It is human,but the mothers should bear in mind the fact that the daughter is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and at the same time mingle with the in laws family very well,all that she does not need is interference from well meaning parents.
mithila

my dear vidhya,

My dear Vidhya,
understand your pain and the mental agony you must have gone through.
My husband is the eldest of ten children.5 younger sisters and 4 younger brothers.Intthe initial period of my married life I had to live with my in laws for some tme.One sister used to snap herfingers to call me because she wont address me as manni.One sil used to make comments on walk talk the way I laughed and others used to laugh.One sil told me,"Dont put on the radio.Electricity is costly in our place"My MIL asked me, a young mother of a 3 mth old baby,"Do you have milk for your baby?"I was a bit embarassed.I said,"I dont know".She said,"Take a crow bar and hit it on your chest ,you will know"I was too stunned to speak.
Do you know why I a reserved person is sharing this painful episode in my life on a platform like ours.because I want you to know that life changes,people change.
My sils are extremely fond of me now.Not a function takes place in their hse with out my presence and I have to be there when they see boys for their daughters.
My MIL is staying with us in her old age and Iam taking care of her.I have not forgotten what happened to me in the past,but I dont hold it against anybody.
Take care.Be patient.Be your normal sweet self with your in laws.Certainly a time will come when they will rally round you.
All the best.
mithila kannan

Hi Mithila,

Well said. All mothers should learn a lot from this. Mothers are mothers. They cant tolerate any hurt done to her daughter. Mothers are the only outlet for the daughters for such personal matters. She can't share these problems with anybody else. But the mothers should learn only to listen and let the daughters take the steps.

Your post gives a good suggestion to all the mothers.

Lakshmi

Dear Lakshmi,
Thank you for the comment.Amother can bear her pain and cope with it,but she can not bear to see her daughter going thro' pain.But if she wants her daughter to learn to swim in the ocean of life she has to just keep a watch over her but should let her go swim against current also if need be.Just be there for her thats all.
mithila kannan

Originally Posted by lakshmi05

Hi Mithila,

Well said. All mothers should learn a lot from this. Mothers are mothers. They cant tolerate any hurt done to her daughter. Mothers are the only outlet for the daughters for such personal matters. She can't share these problems with anybody else. But the mothers should learn only to listen and let the daughters take the steps.

Your post gives a good suggestion to all the mothers.

Lakshmi

Hi Mithila maam,

It is good to know that you have handled your in-laws with grace. But their behavior and harsh words seems a little too much for me especially your MIL's comment about your milk supply. Honestly is it really worth to put up with such people in life. The cream of our life is the youth. Why should we spoil it by putting up with idiotic people's comments in the hope that they will eventually become "sweet" with us.

Thanks,
Kavya.

Originally Posted by mithila kannan

My dear Vidhya,
understand your pain and the mental agony you must have gone through.
My husband is the eldest of ten children.5 younger sisters and 4 younger brothers.Intthe initial period of my married life I had to live with my in laws for some tme.One sister used to snap herfingers to call me because she wont address me as manni.One sil used to make comments on walk talk the way I laughed and others used to laugh.One sil told me,"Dont put on the radio.Electricity is costly in our place"My MIL asked me, a young mother of a 3 mth old baby,"Do you have milk for your baby?"I was a bit embarassed.I said,"I dont know".She said,"Take a crow bar and hit it on your chest ,you will know"I was too stunned to speak.
Do you know why I a reserved person is sharing this painful episode in my life on a platform like ours.because I want you to know that life changes,people change.
My sils are extremely fond of me now.Not a function takes place in their hse with out my presence and I have to be there when they see boys for their daughters.
My MIL is staying with us in her old age and Iam taking care of her.I have not forgotten what happened to me in the past,but I dont hold it against anybody.
Take care.Be patient.Be your normal sweet self with your in laws.Certainly a time will come when they will rally round you.
All the best.
mithila kannan

dear ma'am,

thank you for sharing your experience with me...it pains me greatly to hear such terrible words spoken to you....but i'm happy that you are being embraced into the fly with love and respect that you deserve...it gives me hope that things will become better for me too...i truly beleive that as people grow older they do mellow down and realise the worth of close ones....like kavya says, sometimes even i wonder if it worth all this suffering.....but at the end of the day, moving out of a home is not the complete solution. i feel bad for my DH, all said and done, it must be horrible for him to realise what mistakes his parents are doing and to resent their behaviour...the change has to come about from their heart...and that will take a long time...till then, patience is the only way...like my DH says, if we let hatred and cynicism corrupt our soul too, then we'll be no different from them..being young should give us the strength to be patient...