mil has no common sense and no brain plz help !!

Hi

Iam a silent reader of Indusladies and always wanted to post my prob here. so finally iam posting my probs seeking for solution.

background

its been 6 yrs that me and dh are married. its a kind of Love(from his side) and arranged(from my side) marriage. He proposed me 4yrs prior to our marriage and i rejected. he understood and from then he used to see me from distance and all that, but never disturbed me. after my education i got a good job and then he came to my mom and asked for marriage. My mom asked for some time meanwhile all the family members knew about this episdoe and convinced my mom and me(yes he is a family relative and every body knew about their family).

i married him hesistantly but after marriage i fell for him as he is very good and decent guy. i thought i made a good decision of marrying him. the problem here is my MIL and her 4 daughters. from the begining she tried to dominate me and insulted my mom. but my mom was silent because she doesnt want to create any trouble in my married life. It went on and on that me and dh used to fight sometimes because of them. After few months i got pregnant(it was an accident).
my work was so heavyand i had to manage home, work and my health at that time. there is tradition in our family that till 3rd month my mom should not be with me so i had do every thing by myself. my dh asked my mil to come to our houde for some help in 3rd month and she came. she used to torture me at that time, I usually come to home at 10.30 pm thinking that she will prepare dinner but she used to say that so i have not called her from the office, she doesn't know what to cook. every day i used to end up eating pickles. when i try to cook in the morning she will pretend in front my dh and even if i call her from office she never used to lift. she stayed for 15 days and asked my dh that she will go back to our native.

i am a very lean person but in 3rd month my belly started growing. i thought its better to wear old inners as my present one are becoming tight (extremely sorry for the language and description but had to share bcoz all the probs lies here).
the day before she was leaving folded my laundry and saw them and asked me why i was i wearing them. though embarrassed i told her why. every thing was fine and she went back to native. in the same month i had to go to my parents house due to some traditions and they both mil and mom live in the same city.
my mil asked my mom that i had to go for their family doc for chechup. my mom said ok and the appointment was fixed and we met at the hospital. me, my mom, Dh and sil(the most cunning of all the four) came. suddenly my dh asked me why i was using my old inners, i was shocked to hear this and told him the reason and why she is making it big issue. i also told him that how can she start the topic with him and how he can ask me. i dnt know what my sil listened. we went home ant 9.30 my mil called me and started shouting on me and kept the phone. i called my dh and asked where was he, he told that he went to meet his old friends straight from the hospital and whats the matter. i didnt told him any thing. i didnt want to prolong the issue.

mean while we went to us and somehow i got relief from her drama. but then started again. my mom told that they are planning to take a site in my native and asked wether we are interested. we are also planning and said k. we asked my mil to go and see the site once. she was so jealous and furious that my dh listened to my mom. immediately they looked for another plot and convinced my dh to buy it.
we bought it and still looking fro the plot showed by my mom talks are going . Meanwhile my DS1 who was 18 month old got TEC and his bool count drooped to 2% he was hospitalized and got blood tranfusions. we were completely broken with this trauma. my mil didnt even helped me but started blaming me and recalled that inners episode by using the word d------, ewww i got irritated but kept silent. icannot take it and started becoming depressed. my health was completely distrubed and constant fights and life was hell. my dh got diagnosed with diabetes and still my mil blamed me for his illness too. she blamed my mother that bcoz of the plot she shown to us all this happened to her son and grandson to which my mom gave left and right for the first time after my marriage. she stopped talking to me for 5 mon and guess what those are the peacefull 5 mon of my life after marriage.

And many more things happened like that every time she used to recall those episode.


present

we went back to India for some visa work and stayed there for 12 months and again came to us. those 12 months somany fights no mental peace at all. finally after coming to us we are living in peace from 2 years and again she found ways to spoil it.

b4 coming to us this time i left some jewelry with my mom and some with my mil. last dec we welcomed my DS2 all alone with out mil or mom(she was unable to come but she made so many fights for which we cant bring my mom). its ds2 naming function she asked about the jewelry again i said this chain is in the box i gave to you. she said that the chain is not in the box. i dndt really remember whre it is but asked her to look for it again in the box. even my dh said that to her. since my dh believed me and supported me she bcame furious. she said so many bad things on phone. she said i always lie to her. i dont know any work iam usless. she recalled how i insulted her with that first episode. she even said why ai was living. she didnt spared my mom she even called her asked what she is doing with my jewelry are they there or she sold them out dhe told her that i called her a thief. and all those bad stuff. my mom got pissed of and again gave left and right and had a big fight.

now i stopped talking to her. she is talking badly with dh that how he is listening to me. how he changed completely after marriage. and stuff like that.

2morow is our anniversary and a lot of tension is going on between us.
how to handle her. how to make her mouth shut about my personal things.
i hat her i dont want to see her face again.

sorry for the so long post. thanks in advance for all the suggestions

 

Even i am Planning to do exactly what you have said. 31/2 of your suggestion can happen but, husband confronting them for talking bad about me can never happen.

DH is very calm, extremely patient and peace loving guy. he will never do that. he always asks me to 'ignore'. even if i fight with my mil (which i never did till now) he will not say anything to me, but he will get hurt . he even gets hurt when my mil says something to me. i dont want to hurt him . he asks me to understand him bcoz his mom will never do this and i keep my mouth shut.

at times i wonder how is this possible he is the son of that monster. i even think sometimes that my dh got switched with her son at birth in the hospital.

 

yes, i have never seen or heard of such thing in my life. even she used to talk about this to her sisters and how iam disrespectful to her over this issue.:bonk

 

@ProsecutedDIL..hmm I cant answer your question, unfortunately my FIL got expired long before my marriage. I have heard very good thing about him in my family circle.