dh had a fight with mil, and mil doing extreme misbehaviour with me

janaka1 · Apr 23, 2014

last night dh fought with mil for some issue apparently not related to me. mil was not talking to dh and me then. Didn't have her dinner as well. and strangely started showing faces to me, a very very hateful face. plainly not talking to me. looking away with clearly visible displeasure in face if i am saying something to her. refusing to eat and all. This much was still ok.

more strange is that this morning mil made an attempt to patch it up with dh. Cried in-front of him drew sympathy from him and he melted. But her attitude towards me remains the same if not worse!!!!!!!!

I really don't understand. I really hate being the scapegoat all the time. What should be my role in this? How should i react?

nalinidiv · Apr 23, 2014

Jus ignore her and be happy... go out for a walk or for shopping to change ur mind... all will be fine

fellowblogger · Apr 23, 2014

janaka1 said: ↑

last night dh fought with mil for some issue apparently not related to me. mil was not talking to dh and me then. Didn't have her dinner as well. and strangely started showing faces to me, a very very hateful face. plainly not talking to me. looking away with clearly visible displeasure in face if i am saying something to her. refusing to eat and all. This much was still ok.

more strange is that this morning mil made an attempt to patch it up with dh. Cried in-front of him drew sympathy from him and he melted. But her attitude towards me remains the same if not worse!!!!!!!!

I really don't understand. I really hate being the scapegoat all the time. What should be my role in this? How should i react?
Click to expand...

Ignore her looks and try to be normal with her...afterall it was not you who fought with her..if she thinks you were the reason behind that fight then itz her problem..

bhucat · Apr 23, 2014

"Mother - Son" Quarrel is common one in many families....MIL gets more hurt because she does not want the fight infront of DIL....so it gets worsen when you go and ask/speak normally...

You just let it to be cool down...no need to react anyways..be what you are....simple.

shobhamumbaikar · Apr 23, 2014

your mil thinks that you caused the fight between her and her son so she hated you and now wants to show you that you lose because they have patched up so she is showing that off.

Ignore all these drama. You know you are not involved. So you are not involved. If she does not talk to you, you do not talk to her either. When she will talk to you you will talk to her as well. After all you are not the one who started the drama. So be aloof unless she directly takes your name any time during the fight, if she does so, raise your voice then and there and ask her not to drag you in her nasty things. You will not tolerate this. Then stop. And behave with her according to how she behaves with you. She will get the message that you are not interested to even fight with her and she cannot make you the scapegoat every time to suit her purpose.

hope this helps

janaka1 · Apr 23, 2014

nalinidiv said: ↑

Jus ignore her and be happy... go out for a walk or for shopping to change ur mind... all will be fine
Click to expand...

how can i be happy dear? when she has made the atmosphere tensed at home by not talking to me, slaming the door at my face, refusing to eat when i serve food at home etc? and then calling and talking to dh over phone when he is in office. She is misbehaving with me very badly.

janaka1 · Apr 23, 2014

bhucat said: ↑

You just let it to be cool down...no need to react anyways..be what you are....simple.
Click to expand...

Do you really think i can be what i am when she is trying to make me a door mat? how should i tolerate such unpredictable and unreasonable changes in weather without any change in myself???

chillbreeze · Apr 23, 2014

Hi, I too was in similar situation couple of weeks back. DH and mil had a fight and mil even blamed he is fighting with her bcoz of his wife (me), though I never even knew what caused that argument in the first place. So after that mil refused to talk to me or eat anything cooked by me. What I did was to leave her to herself for 3-4 days. If I try to talk to her, she will give a rude reply or make faces and I don't wanna lose my temper with her. I just did my work without talking to anyone and after a week or so she was ok. However, I am wary of her now and try to maintain some distance, but she is trying to keep chatting and come close. Clearly, she want to go back to how I was before. But I am tired of being the scapegoat always and being cautious now.

preethiitech · Apr 23, 2014

You need to act as if you are watching the rain on tv rather than taking an umbrella to save yourself as if you are in the actual rain, if you can understand what I mean..

janaka1 · Apr 23, 2014

shobhamumbaikar said: ↑

your mil thinks that you caused the fight between her and her son so she hated you and now wants to show you that you lose because they have patched up so she is showing that off.

Ignore all these drama. You know you are not involved. So you are not involved. If she does not talk to you, you do not talk to her either. When she will talk to you you will talk to her as well. After all you are not the one who started the drama. So be aloof unless she directly takes your name any time during the fight, if she does so, raise your voice then and there and ask her not to drag you in her nasty things. You will not tolerate this. Then stop. And behave with her according to how she behaves with you. She will get the message that you are not interested to even fight with her and she cannot make you the scapegoat every time to suit her purpose.

hope this helps
Click to expand...

you are right.she has indirectly mentioned me many times in her fights saying 'i know whose words you are spitting up like a fool" etc.