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SIL wedding gift - what to give?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014.

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Apr 17, 2014 #1
tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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Dh will be attending sils wedding in india soon.

Relationship with SIL :
She turns nasty in the presence of mil. Otherwise ok. She did say a lot of nasty things and caused fights but nothing unforgivable. She used to demand a lot of things from dh...it reduced later. She never spent a penny on me, dh or our kid. Whatever mil fil gave, she used to write her name on that. Not that im expecting anything, but at times i do buy some little presents for my neices/nephews....not a penny from my sil...not even a card for her own bros bday.

One day i lost it and i told them rakhi money looks like tax (coz no rakhi but we need to send money!). From then on, things changed a bit. Rakhi arrived every year. A toy arrived a cppl of times for dd's birthday too.

We are not on talking terms for many years since i stopped talkinh to mil. She supports her mother all the time and that obviously doesnt go very well with me. Since this is her last bday at maika, i sent her flowers (in the name of me, dh and Ds)...she texted me thank you. And then sent me flowers on my bday. Inlaws then sent the wedding card template to me and dh. Guess what, best complimrnts from

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #2

tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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From dh and me!! Whoa my name? Impressed!
And she started addressing me as Bhabhi these days!
Knowing them, id like to believe this is all for a nice eyewash for sils inlaws

I got carried away and thought of sending gold necklace (around INR 1 lakh) as a wedding present

Given the background and recent developments, am i talking sense? Or should i hold my horses and just let dh go and come back. Or just send some luxury chocolates and a card? Or a pair of earrings?

If i leave it to DH, he wont give anything....mil/sil wont ask now (my assumption)^

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #3

tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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I might sound very mean , but id rather donate that money to charity

Inlaws are quite well off anyway.

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #4

gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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hmm..tricky situation..
DEFINITELY an eyewash And maybe a little bit of empathy because she may be thinking, 'NOW i realise the butterflies and emotions one goes through when going into a strange house leaving the comfort of your own home'
I would say go ahead. Give her the gift. Maybe not 1 lakh worth - but atleast say 50K. A 'sizeable' gift, which is neither too small that people can point fingers, but not too big that you feel guilty of it .

gauridinesh, Apr 17, 2014

gauridinesh, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #5

pinkRoseBud Gold IL'ite

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IMO, gold ear rings should do. It's gold after all.
Necklace worth 1L is too much.
If she genuinely feels you're all family, then she should be ok with this gift.

pinkRoseBud, Apr 17, 2014

pinkRoseBud, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #6

sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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Gift SIL a cupboard to keep gifts in Big enough to be seen by others, probably less expensive and also tongue in cheek :bonk

sweetypi, Apr 17, 2014

sweetypi, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #7

tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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sweetypi said: ↑

Gift SIL a cupboard to keep gifts in Big enough to be seen by others, probably less expensive and also tongue in cheek :bonk
Click to expand...

Lol...she is moving to US after marriage... West coast thankfully!

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

tulipzz, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #8

stronglady2013 Silver IL'ite

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OP,

I would suggest go with the basic gift like you mentioned earrings..nothing big or small. Necklace would be a bit too much..

stronglady2013, Apr 17, 2014

stronglady2013, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #9

persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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gauridinesh said: ↑

hmm..tricky situation..
DEFINITELY an eyewash And maybe a little bit of empathy because she may be thinking, 'NOW i realise the butterflies and emotions one goes through when going into a strange house leaving the comfort of your own home'
I would say go ahead. Give her the gift. Maybe not 1 lakh worth - but atleast say 50K. A 'sizeable' gift, which is neither too small that people can point fingers, but not too big that you feel guilty of it .
Click to expand...

Am in agreement. Necklace worth 1L is a bit too much but 40-50K sounds good to me. Even if it all is an eyewash, you're better safe than sorry for having been not too gullible. And she being family you need to gift gold, despite her company induced nastiness.

persecutedDIL, Apr 17, 2014

persecutedDIL, Apr 17, 2014

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Apr 17, 2014 #10

MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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Does she like silver? Amrapali has a lot of trendy pieces in different price ranges, and you can shop online.

MalStrom, Apr 17, 2014

MalStrom, Apr 17, 2014

#10

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