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A woman marries their newborn helpless KID...

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by ardhra, Apr 8, 2014.

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  1. Apr 8, 2014 #1
    ardhra

    ardhra Gold IL'ite

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    Well, I am in venting mode today as I am super pissed off by PILs....

    There is a thumb rule -
    1. Their DS's are very small kids.
    2. Everyone including their DILs must take care of them like kids...

    MY FOOT...

    They will never think that theit children are grown up...
    This weekend, there was power cut so no fan... We had to open the door and sit.. Since its facing east, and it was almost 11:30 am, the strong sunrays were entering the house...

    DH : Get me cooling glass.. My eyes are paining
    Me : Take it

    Then my DH slept with the glasses on :-D

    MIL : Ayyo Magu is not feeling well... must be suffering from heat... What are you doing?? go get him some tender coconut...
    ME : Its too hot outside, ur magu is alright.. Its just relaxing... No need of getting all this. If he feels like drinking he'll go and have
    MIL : Atleast take him to the shop na.. Let him buy whatever he wants
    ME : He is not some 5 year old kid which I have to carry and take to the shop... In fact he has to take me not the other way...

    Then I went inside...

    I had totally forgot about that stupid issue... Yesterday when I went home after a long day of work... FIL started shouting at me.... I was thinking what went wrong... Then comes this news...

    FIL : Yesterday my magu was sufering from heat and was wearing cooling glass and sleeping... MIL asked you to get tender coconut and you did not get it... This is irresponsible... You could have told me so that I could have brought that and given it to him... Papa Magu, he was suffering.. and you do not take care of him...
    ME : Who is the kid??? ah??? your 31 year old son??? He is not my kid anyway and also he is not so small that I can carry him around... You are there in this house 24X7.. peeping your nose into all kinds of conversations, if your KID was so unwell, surely you would have got to know... Dont ell like this..
    FIL : Dont speak like this... I'll get angry
    ME : Fine.. but in this house of grown ups, your sons are kids... If they open their mouth, you start screaming at your DILs...
    MIL : started crying and told FIL... Our DILs do not have children.. So, they'll not understand how we feel about our kids... When she gets a child, she'll look after my kid as her kid... She'll inderstand my feelings... Look at the other DIL... she has left my kid alone in another country and has come to visit her ailing mother for a month... My MAGU... he must be suffering...
    ME : Stop this nonsense... when your KID will visit you next month, she'll also be alone there.. Infact you must feel sorry for her as she is a woman and has to manage everything...

    PILs fell silent... Then DH came home and I was in a very bad bad mood... Did not have dinner also... When DH asked just told him I am not hungry... Did not want to tell all this nonsense to him and spoil his day...

    Why to parents get their so called kids married???
    Do they want a free nanny to take care of them???
    If so then why do they search for a girl younger than their son???

    All these days I was thinking that MIL helps me a lot and she always cooks before I go home to help me... From yesterday I am feeling that she does all this to please and take care of her MAGU... and nothing more... I did not feel like eating that breakfast also as all this thoughts had blocked my mind... Was feeling as if I am an unwanted nanny in the house.... :-(

    Ladies please help me... How can I come out of this????
     
    ardhra, Apr 8, 2014
    ardhra, Apr 8, 2014
    #1
    27 people like this.
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  2. Apr 8, 2014 #2
    sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    LOL OP...for a minute there I thought that this was a post on child marriage or some poor parent being forced to marry off their kid for money or something (imagination working overdrive...)

    You need to continue being the way you are now. Good answers there to your PILs' remarks. Continue being the mature adult in that house and you will be fine.

    My MIL is better than yours but one incident I cannot forget is-BIL was sitting outside the house and drinking coffee. After he was done, he got up to go put the empty cup in the kitchen, and MIL stopped him saying "Oh, why are you taking the trouble dear? I will put it in the sink myself." This, like minutes after she was displeased that I did not clear the dining table (long after I had finished eating and there were others who ate after me).

    Also, if DH and I both wake up late, she will serve tea to DH and ask me to make/heat mine myself.
    I wonder what she would say if my mom did the same thing to my H?
     
    sheztheone, Apr 8, 2014
    sheztheone, Apr 8, 2014
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    17 people like this.
  3. Apr 8, 2014 #3
    shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

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    :2thumbsup:

    dont worry dear. u're doing good. just give them right there and then and make them to shut up. add one more line next time "im not nanny to carry around ur MAGU, im his wife"."
    tell ur fil to talk to u in presence of ur dh. so that ur dh will also know what is goin on.
     
    shantana, Apr 8, 2014
    shantana, Apr 8, 2014
    #3
  4. Apr 8, 2014 #4
    sweetypi

    sweetypi Platinum IL'ite

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    Crazy ... next time ask your PILS if being parents makes people so selfish that they can think no further than the well-being of their own children, while the rest of the world goes to hell :bangcomp:
     
    sweetypi, Apr 8, 2014
    sweetypi, Apr 8, 2014
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  5. Apr 8, 2014 #5
    tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Take him to the shop atleast! :rotfl
     
    tulipzz, Apr 8, 2014
    tulipzz, Apr 8, 2014
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  6. Apr 8, 2014 #6
    Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,
    even I thought its a post about child marriage...........but yes,in truth MIL thinks her little lost boy is married to some strong super woman ..........I do like the way you answer back & this is the right way..........me?i would get defensive,do MILs bidding & then fume for hours till another incident happens........now,i ignore.
     
    Mahajanpragati, Apr 8, 2014
    Mahajanpragati, Apr 8, 2014
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  7. Apr 8, 2014 #7
    vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

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    he he he ... one of my SIL who is abt 15yrs older than my husband told me, for her little brother (btw i am younger than my husband by 4 yrs) needs everything to be given in his hand he wont eat any meal if food is not given in his hand as he does not know anything abt the kitchen or food cooked.... so i told her yes yes your really little brother would be super spoon fed ... food is mashed n spooned and I would push a stick down his throat so that food gets in :rant
     
    vini31, Apr 8, 2014
    vini31, Apr 8, 2014
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    9 people like this.
  8. Apr 8, 2014 #8
    guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Babe, what help do you want? You have handled it so well!! You rock!! You need to take lessons for the other hapless DILs here!!

    love every word you said!
    G xx

    Ps: next time eat dinner. Don't go hungry. Take care of yourself. And tell DH mildly, "your parents were so worried that you were suffering from heat. They were quite upset." And leave it at that without elaborating.
     
    guesshoo, Apr 8, 2014
    guesshoo, Apr 8, 2014
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    8 people like this.
  9. Apr 8, 2014 #9
    swatishah84

    swatishah84 New IL'ite

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    Hi Ardhra,

    I can soo much relate to you. Same is the situation with me where my MIL thinks that her Son is a kid. However unfortunately I have yet not gathered enuf courage to give them back, which now after reading your post, i think i should do.

    You are doing a good thing by giving them proper answers and behave like a mature adult.

    Good Luck
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2014
    swatishah84, Apr 8, 2014
    swatishah84, Apr 8, 2014
    #9
  10. Apr 8, 2014 #10
    lucky2

    lucky2 Platinum IL'ite

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    :clap:whistle:hatsoffhugsmiley
     
    lucky2, Apr 8, 2014
    lucky2, Apr 8, 2014
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