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Missing my privacy and space independece at maritial home

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Iamagoodgirl, Feb 4, 2014.

  1. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Its just been 3 months of marriage and i am missing my privacy,space,independence so much.Although they are good people at heart, esp my mil, there is still difference of culture which bothers me a lot.Just now she called my husband and told him that clothes i wear at home are too short and i should wear longer gowns.( my gowns are little above my ankle)

    My MIL FIL are continuously at home.They just dont go anywhere.I desire to watch romantic movies with my husband cuddling each other on sofa but i they watch sas bahu drama. :( I am planning to fix one tv in our bedroom so i could watch whatever i want on tv even movies having adult scenes.

    Food is different and my mil ways of expressing care is making me eat lots of sugary unhealthy oily thing.She just makes it and keeps it in front of me and i feel oblique to eat it.In last three months i have put on 4 kg.I can believe this.I am seriously going nut watching my weight gain.Witsend

    I am trying to put borders but she seems having very different idea enjoyment and what is healthy.She keep saying nothing happens because of food ??????????:crazyduh !Funny thing she doesnt do this to my husband and FIL.They are very picky when it comes to eating and maintain weight strictly.Its my SIL ,MIL both are big foodie and i think they assumed i am just like them!My SIL keeps saying," i dont do diet.I eat plenty and enjoys it a lot.I dont exercise and i dont care if i gain weight." I feel like putting her into mirror room so she knows how big her ass is.

    I am making my own mind for being assertive about having borders EVEN it disspoints them.Otherwise i will become fat cow in few months.

    Well rant over.Thanks for reading.
     
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  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Get your own TV...it is a life saver.

    Tell your husband to tell her..."her clothes are fine. You will get used to it."
    As for food....tell her you want to stay slim as her son also eats healthy and you want to look good together. Tell your husband to stop you from eating sugary stuff in front of MIL.Something lie"please don't eat that stuff ...you will put on weight." Coming from him...she will take it more seriously.
     
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  3. oysterzzz

    oysterzzz Gold IL'ite

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    You might not like their way of treating you, but you don't have right to comment about your sil's physique, that too in a public forum. If she doesn't want to stay slim and doesn't care about gaining weight then it's her wish. If you don't like to eat all the unhealthy stuff your mil is giving then say a simple no or tell her that you don't like sweets or you are very much worried about your physique. as simple as that.

    my mil also used to cook us all the sweets with lots of ghee. i told her that i don't eat anything with ghee in it, she understood it and now she never gives me anything with ghee.

    when they take care of you well, tho bhi problem hai. when they dont care about you tho bhi problem hai. just that we have a forum and a privilege to open a thread, we come and rant for silly issues in the name of vent. wish there was an "unlike" button.
     
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  4. shantana

    shantana Platinum IL'ite

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    oh imagoodgirl u made me laughing out loud in my office. thanks !!!!
     
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  5. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    There is only one solution either you try to adjust and live in their home or you find your own place close to IL. Things like getting a TV and putting it in your bedroom are all temporary solution, next thing they will complain that the TV in your room is loud or they will complain that they are not able to spend time with their son.
     
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  6. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    I forgot there are fat people on this forum and my comment is going to offend them sorry for that.This is not public forum this is anonymous forum.No one knows who i am or my mil ,sil so i disagree.
    I wish saying no was that easy.But in reality it isnt.People are super sensitive esp older one.
    yes please feel free to press unlike button if there is any.I put on thick skin when i am on this forum.Dont care!
     
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  7. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank god some one appreciate my sense of humor here !
    My sarcasm start shining when i am at peak of irritation.
    And literally speaking high weight and low hemoglobin,zero exercise is too bad combination.I wish she gets her wake up call soon.I worry its going to be too late when she wakes up finally and realize how self destructive her behaviors has been.
     
  8. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi girl.I wish in our country living separately was that easy.Believe me when i was looking for matches that was my preference.But there werent many good option available with that condition ,i realized soon.So i compromised on that front.

    Yes i am trying to adjust but there are things you know i just cant! eg eating habits.Its her way of expressing care so saying no to it is very insulting to her and she is hypersensitive.i dont want pull my husband in between until and unless i have no other option.He is super blunt.Whenever he says something she ends up in tears .He seriously lacks tact.

    I am trying to make her understand my stand without hurting her much because these are the people i am going to live with next 30-40 years.
     
  9. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    this is the very reason grown up men and women need to move out.. its so tough for a new person to adjust to a new enviornment..and unlucky its the women who need to "adjust" ... i can understand how tough u will be feeling...

    thing is you need to say 'No' whenever necessary.... no point in pleasing all and ending up frustrated.
     
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  10. jasmine25

    jasmine25 Gold IL'ite

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    I agree it is not an easy task to adjust in a new environment..But remember one thing you cannot please the entire world..I understand privacy is pivotal especially during initial days..Better you buy a tv and place it in your room..or watch your favourite programs in laptop in your bedroom..regarding food..it is better you tell them then and there..you say they are good in nature..though they are sensitive hope they can understand..Just let them..you don't like having oily foods/sweets...you are just letting know your likes and dislikes..nothing wrong in that..only if you speak out they will know...you cannot expect them to understand what is going on in your mind wright?? May be they feel they are feeding you with tasty and delicious foods..they could be doing that to make you happy..don't get upset dear..these are small things..you can handle these efficiently..this is not a big problem to deal with..Be yourself and tell them politely you don't have such and such dishes..I have seen people ignoring politely when we serve food..how much ever we plead to at least taste the sweet/food/any starter...they will strictly say no..am sorry..practise saying a stern NO politely without hurting her feelings..
     

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