need suggestion

Dear friends,
I get very emotional and stressed when it comes to my MIL.
I don't have close friends, my only younger sister is back home and she has health problems. I cannot even share my feelings with anybody, I don't have mom. I have a stepmother , so its not the same.
I'm reallly consumed with thoughts about my MIL, ever since she left US about a month ago.Because I don't work, no school , husband is very busy so my mind is full of things my MIL did to me while she was here. How to deal with this, I'm just going crazy. Everytime I try to forget all about it but everyweek my ILs call and all the bad memories come back to me and so I get upset and our morning ,if not the day is ruined.
I'm also 8 mths pregnant and i want to be more happy and relax my mind?
Please give me some advice , I need your help ladies.

Dear Saheli,

Congratulations on you being on the family way.

At this juncture it is not good for you to get worked up...it is said that your state of mind will reflect on your child...so for the child's sake learn to be happy. Tame your mind to think of the happy memories that you have.

Go out for walks to the park etc...spend some good quality time with your husband and talk of your future together...see some good shows on tv.

As has been discussed in other posts...pondering over ILs behaviour is not a healthy thing...we will always have to live with it so put it aside and don't let it mess your life. Look forward to happy times ahead.

I hope your husband is supportive of you and also don't start about your MILs behaviour at this point of time as you are in an advanced stage of pregnancy and you will need his warmth and support of the times ahead. No one other than your husband should matter to you...not that we ignore others...but best is to do our duty and then move away. If we get emotionally involved then problems arise.

All the best
Take care.

Dear Saheli,
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I completely agree with Roopa. Always think about your dear ones. Thinking about the unpleasant events is not good for you and also to the baby. Try to divert your thoughts. Think about your baby. … How you are going to manage the baby and the house chores; what are the simple and healthy ways to cook, etc……. .. . . Whenever you think about some bitter experiences, tell yourself that it is not good for your baby. You will be fine soon.

Take care!

Best wishes to you!

dear saheli,

when you forgive someone you are doing a favour to you not them . so please forget all that . When they call you engage your self in something else ,do some work or listen to good music etc and make a commitment that you won't think of past .it is important not to be stressed when you are pregnant.

hope this helps
manju

Ask yourself this question

What is more important to your life right now? your baby or mustering thoughts about past and spoiling your mental/physical health?

This should make you stomp on those ill thoughts thats creeping back to your mind, when all you want is to enjoy your pregnancy and be healthy for urself and the baby!!

Now cheer up and go and enjoy your life girl..

Every minute you miss thinking about past only screws up your present [ remember there is a reason its called "present" - enjoy it]

Congrats on your pregnancy.... So you know the sex of the baby or no :mrgreen

dear saheli,

I know how you feel. I think it always helps, if you can vent your feelings. I don't know about others but I am always here for you. you can share whatever is on your mind and you feel better.

I also suggest hire some really funny movies and watch them. have you seen "the gods must be crazy' it's hilarious.

Dear all,
Thank you so much for all the kind words and advice that you have given me.Monita,nandshyam,manjur,Sindhu and roopa. I will definately try to remember what you guys have said.
Eventhough we know what to do and what is the best approach it is different when hearing from someone else.

i am so happy that I found this site and I'm able to share my feelings in this lonely land.
BTW its a girl! I'm so excited , i always wanted a girl.........to be mom to a little girl something which I could not experience for long.

Also, i'm thinking to go to the library for funny movies.

I feel so much better already