Quarrel with SIL. Should i apologize?

galwidpassion · Jan 10, 2014

Hi everyone..

I delivered a baby gal last november and from the day she is born she was crying a lot. No one would believe if i tell that she is crying but the crying is too much to be normal. And she wouldnt sleep at all. She sleeps only 3-4 hours in 24 hours and rest of the time either feeding or crying. It was so difficult to manage and me being a c-section operated found it so tiresome. Though my parents were there to help, even they couldnt control her. We went to 7-8 doctors and everyone agrees that baby is crying abnormally but cant find anything wrong with her. They did all possible tests like MRI, ECG,EEG, Blood,motion and urine tests etc etc. Apart from physical exertion, the way she used to cry affected us mentally. I used to cry everytime she cried because as a mother i was unable to understand what her problem is or how to soothe her. It was tortorous. Each time she cries i feel my heart sliced open.

During my pregnancy, I wanted a baby boy, But my SIL always used to tell "You will get a baby girl with my qualities. She will torture you like anything. You will face many difficulties because of her" Even after explicitly saying many times that i want a baby boy she never considered my feelings and always said the above words. Now according to her words, i got a baby gal. as already said she cries a lot and because of that i could not rest and became weak and had got admitted in hospital also for IV drips. In this situation, my SIL called and said "Your daughter is exactly like me. She has got my voice (high pitched) and also she got my troublesome nature"

I was angry so much and blasted her off right there and then. I asked her " Are you a human being? Do you have any humanity? Why do u have so much vengeance on a small kid? We are struggling day and night with no food and sleep. Leave about us. The baby is crying a lot and becoming weak day by day. Why are u still wishing the same? Why don't you think twice before telling that? Instead of that you could have directly wished the deaths of me and my brother." and cut the call.

My in laws and all are very angry on me now. But i felt her to be inhuman to talk such things when we are in troubles. My husband asked me to call my SIL and apologize. Should I?

gurpreetsingh · Jan 10, 2014

Need not apologize.. Your sil was so rude when she wishd and said " she got my troublesome nature" .. ( i wonder how ur sil is openly admitting herself that she is a troublesome lady")

Do not apologize..

Even if you apologize you can say like this " I am sorry but still you should have not spoken like that"

Or you can apologize to her and make sure going forward , answer all her questions in single words and do not start any conversation.. This is the best thing to annoy a person.. If I get tooo annoyed with a person , I answer all their questions in single word and do not start any conversation.. If they ask me " Why are you not talking properly" , I say " I am talking properly only "

gurpreetsingh · Jan 10, 2014

Also i feel //Take care of your baby .. Leave that stupid sil matter ... You can deal her anytime .. Right now , your kid is most important to you

DGcreative · Jan 10, 2014

in sensitive & in human.....thats wat ur SIL is.....leave her & take care of ur & baby's health....Tackle one thing at a time...may be u need to take ur H in confidence....what is his take on his sister's predictions....If he is understanding, talk to him & ask him to back up for u whenever needed....let him handle his family.

your first priority has to be to know whats wrong with your LO's crying. & take care of ur health too dear.

beingloved · Jan 10, 2014

IMO, ur husband has no rights being called a husband or father if he CAN'T be one when the wife & kid needs him. Ask him first if he can confront his sis for such a behavior and his parents for supporting their daughter in such thing. If he can't, then ask urself where u r in life with such a spineless husband!!

shantana · Jan 10, 2014

galwidpassion, im sorry to hear about ur baby. is ur baby breast fed or bottle fed? is it colic? try to search on google about colic if u havent. if bottle fed, have try changing the formula? how is the baby's bowel movement?
have u tried rubbing warm oil on the baby's stomach? since u had other test, be with ur baby as much as possible to reduce its discomfort.
i know u wud have tried all the things under the sun to comfort ur baby, it some if my suggestions.
abnormal crying baby is too much to handle, it take toll on both mother and the baby. hugs to u dear.

pls dont be regret over the quarrel with ur sil. if im at ur place, i wud have killed her. just ignore ur pils as well. just concentrate on ur baby and urself.

sumalynux · Jan 10, 2014

No need to Apologise,

"You will get a baby girl with my qualities. She will torture you like anything. You will face many difficulties because of her"

"Your daughter is exactly like me. She has got my voice (high pitched) and also she got my troublesome nature"

Seriously she agrees she is trouble maker and her qualities like torchuring ???

OMG something is seriously wrong with her..:spin

Ignore her and your PIL's.. Even if your dh if he gives you tuff time supporting them
and JUST take care of your baby...

RELAX...

nalinidiv · Jan 10, 2014

apologise??!! No way ...jus jus throw the thoughts on her into dustbin and start doing ur work.. shes not just worth this much of time....
don spoil ur relationship with ur DH.. try to make him understand dat it was she who tried pulling words from ur mouth.. dats enuf

divshiri87 · Jan 10, 2014

Galwidpassion, I am sorry to hear about your baby. Soon her issue will be cured. My prayers to her.
Ur sil, she is a insane, stupid, inhuman..... I think she is suffering from some psychiatric disorder.
Why your husband asked u to apologize your SIL ? Why should you apologize? Please don’t do. Try to explain to your husband with patience.
Don’t worry dear, God is there to punish your SIL.
Take care of your baby..
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CrayoNess · Jan 10, 2014

Maybe your SIL kind of wanted to be funny - admitting that she is also troublesome nature. But it went wrong and you were tired and gave back. I would apologize and move on.

Please read about colic and be gentle to yourself. It is very hard when the baby is crying the whole time and you are not able to sleep or live a normal life. Try to keep the environment peaceful as the baby will also react if there are too many people around. If it is colic it should be getting easier when baby 3-4 months old. My youngest son cried a lot. I used to take long walks with him in a stroller (what is it called in english?) or then had him in a sling at home.