girls , please give me ideas

gurpreetsingh · Oct 23, 2013

Gals , I am pregnant and my mom was taking care of me till now .. I had many health issues ... so my mom was gave a great support and i feel like crying that she is leaving to her town for next one month ..
Now my mil is coming to take care of me .. Few days back my mil had come for few days as my mom had some urgent work in her town .. She argued with me for silly things for most of time .. ( for medicines that I am taking , for vessels in kitchen , for a devotion song cd etc etc ) .. Also she made me cry for a CD thinking that my mom has taken that CD ( She shouted at me for half an hour ) .. Also she gave me food items which I had told to avoid as I felt sever nausea for those items ..
Coming to present situation , I was ok with her coming to take care as I am having some health issues and I cannot manage alone ... But now the problem is that my great mil ( mother in laws mother ) is also coming and I am very scared of this combination.. my great mil tells something to my mil and my mil starts shouting more .. ( this has happened in past and I am scared that this time also scenario would be same )
I felt very sad regarding how I am going to manage the shoutings....
Please give me ideas on how I can manage
The ideas I thought of is :
1.I am planning to rejoin work as doctor said i am out of risk stage ... (however if i dont feel well , I might have to be at home)
2.When relatives visit home , they act pleasant , So I am going to call all relatives and my friends during weekends ..
3. I am going to go to my neighbour's house if some tension arises. I would tell that she called me for some reason.. My neighbour is a good friend and she will undestand me
4. I am going to do pooja for 45 mins in morning and 45 mins in evening to avoid all the shoutings..
Please tell me some tips and ideas how I can manage ... I pleaded my dh to not call great mil .... but he told that she wants to come ..
[ I cant go to my mom's place as doc told no long distance travel]
I dont want to get worried due to these .. but still i feel worried ... This time I am going to not take any shouting as I am fed up of shoutings ...
Please give me some ideas on how I can manage things

WorkingWoman · Oct 23, 2013

May be you can get a cook cum maid to take care of you instead of calling anybody.

simpleMom · Oct 23, 2013

You don't get along with your MIL. Why not hire full time maid to cook food for you? You don't have to deal with a person you dislike during your pregnancy.

You are having difficulty managing your pregnancy. You want your MIL to take care of you. To avoid spending time with MIL alone, you plan to invite relatives, friends etc. Who will cook snacks for these guests? You or your MIL? You plan to run away to your neighbor's house if some tension arises.

Don't you think you are being bit inconsiderate?

gauridinesh · Oct 23, 2013

Go for long walks.as you need the exercise ( check with doc first).
Ask your hubby to take you to some of his friend's house
join some course/online and tell them that you have to study..be in ur room with books/laptop.

Thriveniram · Oct 23, 2013

Hi,

I understand your problem, Situations with Mil's are always helpless and hopeless too;-).. So dont break ur head on that much, If Mil being with you is inevitable then cant help else u can discuss with your husband and make them stay wherever they are now, and plan to hire a maid as other ladies here suggested.. that's the better idea:thumbsup...

But.....

This is the period for you to relax keep yourself calm and cool (listening to music, Reading good books, little exercise, walk, Spend time with hubby.. and feel the little one inside)give more time for yourself never be in dilemma abt mil nor any thing...

Regards,
Thriveni

geetalakshmi · Oct 23, 2013

arrange some maid for your work specially for cooking.

as u said invite ur friends and relatives to home but keep ur work minimal at that time

gurpreetsingh · Oct 23, 2013

I already have a maid.. I tried hiring a cook but the problem is I am getting only north indian ones. I have rice items most of time .. Also roti causes indigestion for me .. That is why I avoided it ...
I liked the idea to look busy with exams / courses .. I will tell that my office told to complete some course ( online ) and will stay at my room with you tube online materials running ..
I dont feel sorry for being inconsiderate because they are same to me by shouting at me while I am pregnant ..
If I am not pregnant I can do anything .. But at this point of time , I want only to be surrounded by people who talk softly ..

yellowmango · Oct 23, 2013

Everytime your MIL or the older MIL start shouting...go to your room,lock it from inside and put on music. Read books or come to IL. If they ask ,tell them this is for the well being of the baby as their shouting is making you miserable. Tell them"I am pregnant and I want to be happy". If your husband objects...say the same to him.

banujaga · Oct 23, 2013

Instead of worrying on all these things, it is better that you cncentrate on your health and enjoy your pregnancy. Leave all this and let it happen however it is.

Ignore the shoutings, scoldings, whatever from them and do / eat what you like..... keep yourself calm and happy, which is most important for the baby.

sadwife · Oct 23, 2013

Dear OP,

Congratulations on your pregnancy.
Is it possible to make arrangements with your neighbor to cook for you till your mum is back? You can pay the neighbor.

If there's no other alternative and your inlaws come stay at your place and shout at you, shout back at them and blame it on your hormone. Do it few times hopefully they shut up or think twice before opening their mouth at you.

Most important you take care of yourself and your baby, others are secondary.