how to handle my oversmart SIL

Just do one thing IGNOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE nothing works better then ignoring. Seriously try this out your life will be peaceful. And do your work rest you leave it. Dont listen to anything and practise this one thing IGNOREEEEEEEEEE.

 

i think you are jealous about your SIL. i haven't seen any SIL doing all the cleaning and cooking works which she is not used to do at her place in your home just to prove you as a bad person. anyway, why do you give this much importance to your SIL? my SIL also told the exact words "my children never go without bath...might be its 4 or 5am". but whats there in it? thats her way. i used to answer "oh, its really good, you have trained them nicely and they are very good kids too.....". but i haven't even tried to follow that in my children as i know how they will behave. i cant manage that drama in the morning and so still i make them take bath after coming from school only.

like that, you dont give chance to her to complain about you. if she does also you start accepting or praising her , yes she does all, she is expert in this and that. add, as you are working you cannot do all like her. if you cant do this just ignore. with a smile i have left so many with my SIL. she will also be self praising all the time. her kids are the best, she is the best mother etc etc. but why to bother when you or your DH dont have any issue with your way of lifestyle? i just used to listen all and smile. thats all. let them praise themselves. in few yrs they will get bored. they think us as their competitors and want to prove something. but I dint need that. i no need to prove anything to anybody. i should please my DH and kids. only that was my aim. be happy with you kids and DH.

 

who doesnt need to manage many responsibilities or works, they only do such things like over cleaning, doing same work again and again.

If a person implement others life style into her/his life, life becomes tough to manage. Everyone has their own identity, dont try to follow others, go with ur own path.

May people think that u r lazy etc.. but the day when she accommodate them in her hous, they wil realize.

 

If she is cooking, let her. I would suggest praise her a lot. Ask her to cook some of her speciality dishes for you;-)...take it as a break from household work.

 

You in laws are nice.
Your sister in law cooks for you
What else do you want?
Jealousy is not good for any one.

 

my comments inline..

 

hi katochsimi,

i know SILs ________ !!! they will never want to u live in peace.
all u can is to ignore, let her do whatever she likes and let her go without any issues.
people wont remember all the goodness u have done or given, but will remember ur bad nature forever. so make sure u dont give out to them, remain calm and show to ur sil ur happy.

 

when we were staying separate from in laws in other city she visited us last year and she use to get up only after 9am and was not even helping me in my daily course..

Well, does it really matter when she gets up ?? It would have been good if she helped, But dont forget she is still your guest, so its not Mandatory for her to help..Unless she wants to..

and i discussed with her our problem with in laws and narrated few incidences which disturbed us a lot...she went to her parents and told adding mirch masala to them and then they said we dont want to see ur faces and all and we were not in talking terms for year...but then i managed convienced hubby and now we r staying together....

Did you and your dh stay apart, because of this incident ??

(i think this was not her target )
now when she visited again this month and is here for month she gets up at 5am and whole day do something or the other and if i want to cook something special so she will coook before me (seriously i have no words but can say she is just like common MIL) and wont allow me to do anything...before i get up she will mop and clean whole house and same in evening before i reach from office she would prepare dinner.

you have problem, even if she gets up late and gets up early,
and problem if she doesn't help, and now if trying to help.


please dont think that she is helping me...her total vibes im getting is to put me down and show that im lazy that i get up late and she manages everything..and i m damn sure that she does not do the same there at her place she gets up late..

As you said, its just your vibes, it might be wrong vibe ?
you are not sure if she does it at her house or not right ?

Actually my ILs and hubby always take my advice for certain things nad the final decision they leave on me they know that i will always give right decision

They let you give final decision ?? Wow good inlaws and dh may be:cool2:

...and on this she will give some eg of her in laws and will say " i nver talk in front of elders or give my decision..this is not my sanskar"..and really it hurts me so much..i have no words...


You can tell her, they trust your decision, so they let you decide, its
after all her parents and bro, who is letting you decide..


one more eg...i dotn bath my DD in morning as she takes bath after her school and feels fresh..but then she will taunt..."my children never go without bath...might be its 4 or 5am"... now i started giving bath to DD before she goes to school..

Well even i dont like this not bathing thing.. I feel its better for anyone
to take bath before going out, applies to kids too.. I believe in take bath
pray god and step out.


after my marriage also she and her MIL were at our place for few weeks and she really made me cry by showing me down (Actually i m more educated and matured and working then her this is my strong point and she is masters in cooking and house work and playing politics this is her strong point) and always compare me with her..she never think that im working and have to manage both and i cannot do so much of work as like her...But she will all time keep cleaning house and will say everyone that im not good wife and all rubbish....

Keeping house clean is definitely good habit, but overdoing it, will only tire you. Explain her, its your house, and you will clean it at your leisure time.. And you cannot clean house always, as you are working 'unlike her'.


Freinds pls help me for:
1) when some one visits she purposely on my weak topic pinches and i react and prove myself then and there that she is right (that "see she is so short tempered and dont have values to run a good family")

You need you to learn to talk smilingly, but making your point clear.

2) keep comparing with her (she no wehre eligible for comparison also).." i dont do this...that and my children are so clean and blah blah .."

you can tell, well if i was not more educated like you and sat at
home, may i have more time for all this...(tell this with a smile)

3) when some relatives visit she is all time with them proving herself and laughing and all acting that she is all rounder and like im :rant

Give a damn about proving others, prove yourself and your dh and kids.

4) does not appreciate at all what ever i make...one day i made breads and cakes from strach and she was like as though from ancestors they are making this....i just hate this

Do you really need her appreciation ?? If you feel good about what you
did, its more than enough, spouse and kids response matters not others


5) do sooooooo much of cleaning...can u believe someone cleaning her and children shoes after returning from outing....or is she planning to sleep with them to clean so much ....

:idontgetit: Did u read or understood wrong ???


6) always pretending so much happy and easy going personality (in fact tsunami must be coming for all...)
please tell me how would u react if u would have been on my place....i need to be happy and most of time i just over react and burst on my hubby for her sister..which later i really feel bad.

Looks like you are giving way to importance to her appreciations,
her comments and stuff.. Dont forget she is just a guest, and make
it very clear to her that you work, and have very less time for things
and you are best judge of what your family needs.. But no wrong in
changing some habits, like giving bath to kids b4 stepping out, cleaning
house in your leisure time. Pick up if there is good things from her, ignore
things that irritates you..