first birthday and what it means to il's

hi i haven;t posted in a while, but i have an important ques for you ladies with kids. My child will be turning one soon, i would like to plan the party by myself (because i am the mother), but my mil/fil want such an active role. now they found out that someone from my family is coming for the party, so il;s said they will not come. i don;t get it!!! my il;s want everything to revolve around themeselves, this day is for my child, not il's they are ruining everything. my sil (husb's sis) also said now she cannot come. So what does a 1st birthday mean to grandparents? why do they think they should be the guest of honor?? i DID invite my il's, i really don;t know why they are sooo angry, being dil, they are now spreading bad reports about me....i feel like not even having a party anymore, it's just too much drama for me. thanks for your help

I was in a similar situation for my son's first birthday. I had planned an elaborate party in my house inviting close family from both sides. A couple of weeks before the party my inlaws started acting up!!
I cancelled the entire party in my house and instead hosted it in a hotel and booked a few rooms for the family members in the same hotel. Just to make the feel that the ILs need not interact with my side of the family more than at the party. Despite of that my ILs did not show up, atleast I had the gratification that I tried and celebrated my son's birthday happily!!!
Also, you can make them feel important by giving them some duties!!

Hope this helps.
R

Hi Jooti,

Its common with in-laws. They expect to be the only ones present. For my daughter's case, my parents refused to attend if my in-laws were around. I hosted the bday party at a club and invited both sides. i didnt care which ones came or not.

My daughter had a good time and my husband and i felt pleased about celebrating her b'day.

I suggest invite both sides and then its left upto them - whether they want to attend or let their egos take over.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance to your kid.

Enjoy!
JJ

Even it happened with me. At last we celebrated in a hotel arranged for party and invited both sides, atlast every one turned up except my sil

Karthi