1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

All dils i envy you

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by arthimahalakshm, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. arthimahalakshm

    arthimahalakshm Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    679
    Likes Received:
    776
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Editor's Note: Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. It has been chosen as a best of forum feature. Congratulations!

    For viewership by a larger audience I have converted it into an article here
    -----------------------------------------
    .

    after reading so many threads about mil-dil,a question arose in me.
    As i don't have pil is it a blessing or curse.
    my association with my pil lasted only for two years and during those two years also no big issues happened.

    they were very simple and expected me to become their daughter as they didn't have any daughter.

    may be the experience with them is different for my elder co-sis as she was married 10 years before mine.

    when i got married my fil was a retired govt employee and both of them were in their late sixties.

    according to me the fact of old age might have made them to be over possessive about their daughters in law rather than their sons.

    so they allowed us to enjoy our personal life with our spouse.

    but they expected us to give the first place over our parents and to achieve this they treated me as their own dd.

    here i must say i didn't even boil a glass of water for my dd in my mil's kitchen in the native place till she was alive.

    whenever i visited her she cooked;when she visited us she cooked and fed me by saying you have to cook in your place all alone.so enjoy my cooking and take rest.
    so it is true that i started enjoying to visit my pil.

    all of a sudden one bad morning brought us a news that my pil met with an accident.without knowing what happened to them we headed to our native city by a car which normally takes 6 hrs.while having a cup of coffee in a motel on the highway through AIR news we came to know about the details of the accident which revealed about the death of 3 elderly people.it was a shock for me and husband as we were informed that nothing serious.

    my inhibitions told me that both of them or any one of them might have died on the spot.when we reached the hospital,my mil's bro informed us that my mil died on the spot and pm was going on.we found my fil in a coma stage.there after he struggled for six months and expired.

    when i saw my mil's dead body a cry calling her 'amma' came out from me and i felt something cut between me and her;needless to stay that i cried a lot in the kitchen as i had to cook during the entire stay as my co-sis was busy in rituals.

    now 14 years passed and tomorrow is my fil's death anniversary day.
    whether my husband follows the rituals or not,i strictly observe fast on their death day.

    the death of my pil showed me the true colurs of our relatives.
    when they were alive people used to attend each and every function in our house.but when i gave birth to my second dd no one attended the naming ceremony even though they were duly invited by dad.it included my own bil-co-sis.till i join my husband who was working then in karnataka no body visited my dd.
    there after also we had been treated inferior as my husband was inexperienced and struggling engineer.
    my husband's dedication and hard work helped him to climb up in his carrier ladder and people are showing interest in talking about us and indirectly praising me for the support i am lending to my husband.


    whoever comes to now about me not having pil,either directly or indirectly telling me that i am lucky.
    but i always find myself missing my pil.
    my life without elders could not get me in touch with a good circle of relatives.
    all these years i have to depend on my parents;needless to say that each and every request of us fulfilled happily by my parents.as my parents have reached their late sixties now,i have started thinking what happens after my parents.
    becoz i hate this lonely life which is like a punishment for no wrong doing.my dds also longing for their grand parents as they see their friends enjoying the company of their grand parents.


    nowadays my prayers are:
    if i have to take another birth i must have pil and sil.at least by having fight with them i have some spice in my life of which i miss in this birth.

    girls those who are having fight and counter attacking and emerging as winners i envy you all.according to me you are all blessed ;so be pride about having fight with your ils.:thumbsup
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2014
    Loading...

  2. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,026
    Likes Received:
    10,428
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    You are the one to be envied. God blessed you with nice pils. :thumbsup

    Nice to read such posts. Thanks for sharing.
     
    17 people like this.
  3. arthimahalakshm

    arthimahalakshm Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    679
    Likes Received:
    776
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    ANITAP!
    thank you for your first fb.
    but partly i feel cursed for not spending more years with them.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,026
    Likes Received:
    10,428
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    That is true. It would have been a better blessing, if they had lived longer.
     
    2 people like this.
  5. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,921
    Likes Received:
    2,474
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice to read that you really liked your PILs and are missing them.
    They were lucky to you as a DIL.
    Other DILs may say that their MIL did not allow them to cook instead of appreciating her.
    Relatives do drop off when elders pass away , new relationships are formed, its life.
     
    2 people like this.
  6. arthimahalakshm

    arthimahalakshm Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    679
    Likes Received:
    776
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    it is true.at least my elder dd enjoyed the pampering of her granpa which induced jealous in my co-sis's mother,even though she was 3rd grand child and second among the girls my fil never let her down on the floor and proudly started complaining about the pains in his hand due to my dd.
     
  7. arthimahalakshm

    arthimahalakshm Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    679
    Likes Received:
    776
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    here i must accept my fault that time i was not a good cook.
    on hearing my cry during the death of my mil people used to tell to my parents thateven though they didn't have any dds,they were much blessed tohave dils to do rituals in the place of dd.
    myself and my cosis did the rituals to be done by a dd.we didn;t allow the cousins to do as their parents are alive.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. bubblygal

    bubblygal Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,381
    Likes Received:
    4,074
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I really envy you!And a big hug to you, strange are the ways of god, when we love people he takes them away from us!God give you strength loads of friends and people to love you a lot!The vaccum may not be filled but their blessings are always with you!Be strong!
     
    6 people like this.
  9. maya84

    maya84 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    260
    Likes Received:
    421
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Nice Post :)

    Good to know that you had a good relationship with your pils. Your husband is very lucky to have you.
    When we live as good dils , husbands are the ones most blessed.

    God bless you with good pils in the next birth.
     
    2 people like this.
  10. prss

    prss Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    512
    Likes Received:
    186
    Trophy Points:
    110
    Gender:
    Female
    Felt so sad reading your post. You too are lucky, as you have wonderful PILs. Even if they are not alive, they still live in your heart, right? So, you too are lucky.
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page