What do an MIL want from her DIL?? What does our inlaws expect from us?

rams22 · May 3, 2013

All DILs suffer in some or the other way of ill treatment in their in laws place....some people are lucky to get good parents in law......but majority DILs suffer from mental agony and torture because of MIL or FIL or SIL anybody from the husband's side of family....

There are no reasons for the demands of ILs they always start complaining about silly reasons and trivial issues..... no matter how much we do for them there is always some problem with us......many DILs do not understand what their in laws want from them can anyone explain what would be the mentality of a MIL and what does she want from a DIL??

because this will help in understanding each other.....not in may cases but it may help in some issues....

anushri · May 3, 2013

Million dollar Q ;-) I don't think anyone knows the perfect answer

rams22 · May 3, 2013

HAHA nice reply indeed no one has the answer!!! I posted here in hope that some "PERFECT DILs" may answer!!!

ShilpaMa · May 3, 2013

I understood it to some extent... when I was in the endless process of hiring a nanny for my kids in their presence.... they want to throw peanuts even if its not their DIRECT money... hire a monkey.... then make that monkey work like donkey... and then complain that the monkey is unable to carry weight of their expectations and home work and hence not fit for the job.... the firing is called and hunt for new monkey begins.

Its a basic indian mentality wherein the quality of life & wishes of an OUTSIDER matter less than yours. Even for INSIDERS there's a priority assigned.
Cactus is the available plant that can grow without nurturing.. and it always pricks you rather than giving flowers and shade... rest need a lot of care until they become strong enuff to do it themselves... even if you bought a pot of grown up plant from their parents.

rams22 · May 3, 2013

ShilpaMa said: ↑

I understood it to some extent... when I was in the endless process of hiring a nanny for my kids in their presence.... they want to throw peanuts even if its not their DIRECT money... hire a monkey.... then make that monkey work like donkey... and then complain that the monkey is unable to carry weight of their expectations and home work and hence not fit for the job.... the firing is called and hunt for new monkey begins.

Its a basic indian mentality wherein the quality of life & wishes of an OUTSIDER matter less than yours. Even for INSIDERS there's a priority assigned.
Click to expand...

Well said.....

DGcreative · May 3, 2013

Well I might try to answer this. My MIL want(ed)s a DIL who would clean the house two times a day, cook 2-3 times a day, earn for the family, wont visit her parents, friends & basically have no social life & keep a smile on her face through out. & of course praise her MIL whenever she is given chance to speak. Her parents should fall in her feet whenever they get the privilege to visit them.

Well thats all I can think. Hopefully she will have her new set of demands by now if I was to fulfill above.

rams22 · May 3, 2013

hmmm nice my MIL is exact....as u described....

My co sis and her parents sensed this in advance and act so much in front of her that she always be so elated when they are coming and will do so much special preparations in advance if they are coming to our house and likes them a lot just because they will act as if she is a goddess and take her permission for everything (though they don't follow what she says).....

anushri · May 3, 2013

Now my Q is after doing all the above will a MIL get satisfied?? I don't think so, at least mine doesn't

anushri · May 3, 2013

My observation is they have decided to hate, find fault., no matter what u do they won't get satisfied. They are not going to stop hating/hurting u.
What we should learn is to co-exist with this species and take enough care of ourselves so that we don't get hurt.

6teenpearls · May 3, 2013

If every body had the answer for the question, problems would never arrive...
even the MIL doesnt know, how can she be impressed... then forget about DILs..............