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Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by luc, Feb 2, 2013.

  1. Feb 2, 2013 #1
    luc

    luc Silver IL'ite

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    Hope everything is going well at everyones end!!

    I have a small issue , its funny that i know its a small thing but for some reason i can't let go of it. Have tried driving around lisening to songs so i forget this matter but i can't help it.

    THe issue is my hubby was going to work after having his lunch. He had some food left over in his plate i told him that i will use his plate n have his food. He gave the plate to his mom, I told her that dont mix the vegetable i will have it and inspite me telling her and my hubby telling her she mixed it ... I got soooo mad i controlled myself to not to say anything as I ws expecting my hubby to say something. INSTEAD he didn't say anything to her, waved her bye so nicely.... UHHHH !!! i literally hate him for this... My hubby knew that i ws pissed but he completely ignored that.. I have no issues with my in laws anymore as i have learnt to ignore most of there things as they ignore mine.. But sometimes u can't keep ignoring as u loose patience after sometime. Now i don't knw if i should bring up this topic to my H...

    I feel things are really weird with my H and I.. Before i use to feel a lot for him do things for him and vice versa, but now there is some form of hatred building up from my side :-( I feel our relationship has changed ..
     
    luc, Feb 2, 2013
    luc, Feb 2, 2013
    #1
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  2. Feb 2, 2013 #2
    sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    Didn't his mom teach him the basic table manners of finishing the food in his plate? :bonk

    Let me get this straight... What did she do? Mixed the sabzi in his plate (i.e. jhoothi sabzi) in the main sabzi-bowl? Is it?

    If this is it, then..... eeewwww........ What bad manners !! :spin

    These people need to be taught basic hygiene first. How on earth can they be so careless about food. If I were you I would have emptied the whole sabzi in to the sink after that. Let them curse or scowl.

    What will the poor guy say if he was brought up this way by his mother? He will never understand how nasty it feels to other people because his mother herself told him it is a right thing to do......... :bonk
     
    sweetshreya, Feb 2, 2013
    sweetshreya, Feb 2, 2013
    #2
  3. Feb 2, 2013 #3
    ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Why do you have to use his plate to eat? Without washing I don't get it.
     
    ars, Feb 2, 2013
    ars, Feb 2, 2013
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  4. Feb 2, 2013 #4
    Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly my question.
     
    Anitap, Feb 2, 2013
    Anitap, Feb 2, 2013
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  5. Feb 2, 2013 #5
    navyar

    navyar Gold IL'ite

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    LUC and her MIL must have competed to serve him more and more that it has become a heap in his plate which he couldn't eat.

    Luc wanted to eat the left overs which might be too much to throw away.

    MIL showed her dominance. "Why only you should eat my son's leftover food?? All of us will share..." and she mixed it in the main bowl.

    At the end:

    - Hubby had stomach full of meal and went to office ignoring the cold war between wife and mother for leftovers.

    - MIL won.

    - Poor LUC annoyed and created a thread.

    Sorry LUC. Calm down dear. These things happen. Don't talk to your hubby on this. To him it is very silly issue to even discuss.
     
    navyar, Feb 2, 2013
    navyar, Feb 2, 2013
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  6. Feb 2, 2013 #6
    cutemonster

    cutemonster Platinum IL'ite

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    So much tension to eat jhoota food!
    I would happily give left overs to mil as I can't eat anyone's left overs, I find it unhygienic.
     
    cutemonster, Feb 2, 2013
    cutemonster, Feb 2, 2013
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  7. Feb 2, 2013 #7
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Define well. :)

    Once a person receives something, they cannot be told what to do with it. Why did husband give the plate to his mom?
    Aaah middle-man (woman) politics. Plate contents got disturbed enroute from your husband to you.
    Seriously? Your hubby and you both told her not to mix it? If two people join to tell me such thing, I might also mix it. (didn't get what mixing veggie means).

    Aaah, the mistake every woman makes (after making mistake of having in-laws over to take care of baby). Don't get mad, get even. Politely. With a smile. Stand up, reach over and take the plate/bowl from her hand. Start to un-mix the veggies, say, "Arey rey Aunty (mommy?), that was not supposed to be mixed up... , here let me un-mix it". Do not say "Why did you....." You could throw in some light comment about children starving in some parts of the world.

    This sort of thing happens when a few people are together. Maybe MIL did it accidentally, didn't understand what you and hubby were telling her. Maybe she did it on purpose. Either way, stand up, unmix the vegetables, and give husband a long good-bye. A wifely goodbye. Even from afar with plate/bowl in your hand, it can be done. A sweet smile and will-miss-you/ "do you really have to go?" etc an be conveyed by the eyes.

    well, he is a wise man. Nothing can be gained by saying anything to MIL at such moment!

    Exactly! Instead of hating him and looking daggers at the plate's mixed up contents, wave him bye nicely. Nicer than his bye to his mom. :)

    He will drive to work with a silly grin on his face, thinking what a cool wife I've got myself, he will not get mad when someone cuts him off on the road, wave an old lady crossing the road even though he has the green light, as he takes the elevator to his office he'll be still smiling, says Hi warmly to colleagues, folks will wonder what exactly happened when he went home for lunch..., and general happiness quotient in office becomes higher, meetings end faster, all get back home faster..........

    He knows his parents are over to help with baby, and you both have to grin and bear such small incidents. No other alternative.

    What is the point of bringing up topic? Will your husband again eat and give you plate with left over food & unmixed vegetable? :) Or will he promise that next time he leaves food in plate, you will have first dibs on it? :) :)

    Oh come on... it was just a lunch plate. Birth of baby is a joyful & stressful time, your relationship is simply getting used to a new phase. Like body getting used to a new exercise regime. see, when we start exercising, initially, one is very very hungry and wants to eat everything in sight including stuff from husband's plate...... OK, bad example... :)

    These things happen dear... OK to get mad, but also shake it off after venting.
     
    Rihana, Feb 2, 2013
    Rihana, Feb 2, 2013
    #7
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  8. Feb 3, 2013 #8
    iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    OMG Rihana! I am loving all your replies. :thumbsup
     
    iswaryadevi, Feb 3, 2013
    iswaryadevi, Feb 3, 2013
    #8
    1 person likes this.

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