am i adjusting tooooooo muchhhh?????

Yes u are adjusting too much. Even if u go work, she will definitely keep your salary. I suggest u do things without asking for permission. Just take care of your kid and do not do much housework. When she scolds u, just ignore and go to your room. She will comPlain to yr hubby, just tell him u were not well..and cld only take care of the kid. It would be better if u go to work..but never hand over all your pay to your husband and mil.

 

Just inform her and dh that you need to go to yr parents place and go. Don't let them treat u like a slave...pls have some self respect..u are educated...If u need something ask your DH to buy for u...he should fulfill all these basic needs. But dun argue with her when hubby around. They will use it against u.

 

I would like to add some more "o's" in your "too" because you are "suffering" and not just adjusting....you are suffering from bad-MIL and bad-marriage disease.....Where DIL is treated like a slave is not a normal family.

Don't nag your DH too much....Its your battle against your MIL, so stand up lady.

You dont need to obey her everytime....Like Maritalbliss said, do things without her permission.

 

Dear Care

As long as you bend and adjust, be it MIL, DH or friends colleagues, they will
bend you and get things done..

Only solution to this is stand for yourself, for that you need confidence, and you
will get confidence only when you start working..

First start searching a job, once you get job, don't give your salary to anyone, tell
its for your expense, savings for kid, let them stand head right down don't yield.

If your dh doesn't be good with your parents, don't take him to your parents place
for a while, ask your parents to not come here too,.. Tell your dh very clearly once
in a month you will visit your parents, and he shouldn't stop you...

You need to fight for yourself, crying venting wont help.. Be brave..

 

yes dear...u r adjusting way too much...get control of your life before its too late.

 

yes yarr.. You are adjusting tooo much!! & i just dont understand why a DIL cannot get half the amount of respect that a son gets in his sasural (( not the case with me soo.. Cz my mil is a vert nice lady, & even my DH is really great & cares for me.. When i am not well , he makes tea for me , thats all he knows to cook, infront of MIL, but she never frowns, justs asks should i make it for you.. But he says no i will make a special tea for you both..have it & learn how to make tea from me ))

cant really help you in these awkward situations.. As i have no experience in this..
But the only thing i can say is, take permission from your DH, that is good, but why to ask MIL , just inform her as her decision is not needed everywhere.. At last she is not that sweet to be pampered!!!!!!!

god bless you..

 

I will also say YES, you are adjusting a lot. Be brave dear. You are not slave there. I know you must be thinking that fighting back will destroy the peace in your family, you must be bearing all this things by thinking about your husband or child.

But think if your child grow with seeing all this around, will he/she respect you? May be it will be a advantage for him/her to take a granny's side & fulfill the self requirements. I have seen such cases in my own family.

Take a job if you can, atleast you can search for work from home options. Start to take your own decisions.

 

Sorry to say...you are not respecting your self...u dont wan respect....u r adjusting ....this line is very common nowadays..look like if you will not adjust something will happen.....adjusting means u r not creating ur law and order der but obeying der..but it seems u r treated like a slave.....stand up your self... writting in the blog will not give u anything....do something daily new which boosts ur confidence level...and think both mil and dil are equal...only the ages are diferent..she came before you hardly 25 years back and u came after 25 years in the same house...then y to be behave like a slave...if you feel bad .. i am sorry....

 

dear care5965
In your case as someone already had pointed your are suffering and not adjusting which is very bad for mental and physical health. Adjusting is something which you do voluntarily even if it is for few seconds.Suffering is a totally different aspect.Dont have all this things in mind .Dont look for others even if it is your husband to solve your problems.Tackle them then and there and dont leave it for the next day .Develop self confidence .For what all you have gone through it is difficult at first but once you get it there is no stopping .
all the best