Super-intruding MIL driving me Crazy!

Dear Amicable,

You really are amicable.... always picking up your m-i-l's calls.

I think all the others have given good advice on how to avoid your MIL's calls.
Let the cell phone's or home phone's answering machine get your MIL some times.

She seems to me to be a very concerned person atleast for her son!!! She seems to want to remote control your life.....

Hey what about YOU calling HER at YOUR convenient time and giving your day's update. You could say that this is the only time of the day that you feel good as all other times you are nauseated and/or tired and resting!!!! This way you could turn around the tables and talk to her when you are prepared.

And pregnancy means doc visits where cell phones do not work.. or you are on the other line with the doc/hospital, friend, husband, etc etc. So you have lots of excuses.

Try to be less amicable and more selfish (!!!) now that you are pregnant and need all the energy and rest to make a life inside you!!

Congrats and Good Luck

Gayathri

Hi Amicable,
really,when i read this,i laughed..do you know why? even my MIL is like your MIL..Always calling ..calling and calling and totally a telephone family(including FIL also)...iam a reserved person and i was caught severely...even before marriage..but after marriage i came to USA,i stopped talking to them because i have gone crazy...i told my husband about this..but pls do not make a mistake what i did...iam a straight forward person and i avoided some of her calls and this has gone to my husband's ears...but he supported..but i was talking very few words or sometimes to my MIL after that..it became a problem...so,just respond her and gradually try to reduce..do not cut immediately and this will create a problem like what i faced...try to know how to handle people because as some of us are innocent we don't know how to manage the situation..

Dear A,

I can totally understand your situation! You should thank God that she is not staying with you otherwise such people don't want to leave you for a minute and keep bothering you...my MIL doesn't stay with me but whenever she plans to come to our place i get so nervous...As you are expecting, take your hubby into confidence though this may be an uphill task...as far as the phone calls go...set the cellphone on silent mode and this way you can ignore her calls...later you can say that when you were sleeping you put it on silent...she should understand after 3-4 times...otherwise talk to her cheerfully for a few mins and then hang up giving some excuse...this way she will also get the idea that you are not depressed!! Good luck and Congrats on your pregnancy!! :)

dear amicable,
i read all the suggestions given to u with interest as i was also personally interesed to find solution to this constantly calling problem.in my case the culpit is my SIL( dh 's sister). i have been married for nearly 5 yrs now.from the day one she would call me daily & discuss everything with mein great details.usually it is her maid woes.then this lady has problem with everyone her hubby,her daughter,in laws,her own sister,her own mother(mil) so on.she would call me to tell about the problems faced by her friend ,people i did not even know.i did everything to avoid her.would not answer phone,got caller id installed,make some true some false excuses.even when my son was born she did not stop though i would say that ringing disturbs the baby.
even my hubby knows this & avoid answering phone when he is at home .same with my inlaws ,my cosister, her own sister.they also avoid her.so, i am the only one victimin our family.i am nearly 19 yrs younger to her,then we stayed in same city so i could not even be rude with her.
its only that we have come here to Nigeria that i got relief from this problem.now,i am planning to travel next mth for delivery to India.frankly,i am not worried about giving birth but more stressed to think that again that circle of constant & long calls will start.
i am planning to get a new number which i will tell only my side of family & dh so that she does not get the number .i will call inlaws myself weekly as i do from here too& tell them i am calling from pco.
pragati

Hi Dear friends..

Thank you all for the suggestions, I tried everything, but all in VAIN. She will not get it and now have started complaining my husband against me. My husband has also told her about my condition, but she is hell bent to prove that....she is the MOST CARING MOTHER IN LAW in this whole world. She is making false accusation that I am rude with her by not picking up her phone, which is leading misunderstanding between me and my husband. She calls my husband everyday, which is absolutly fine, but why does she has to talk to every single person in the house? I think she has obession controling others. I am so greatful to god that she doesn't live with me and I am crossing my finger hope it never happens in the future either.

Anyhow, my saga will never end. I am stuck with obsessive and nut mother in law. Who is driving me crazy and there is no solution. Thank you again for all your suggestions.

hi amicable,
i cautioned you before not to do the mistake as i did...now,it is now turned towards you as though you have made a mistake...same situation happened to me and i pitty you as you are also sailing in the same boat..my MIL calls my husband everyday and expect me to talk everyday and who are all in th house also included..that's why i told you to handle with care...
thanks

Hi rya

Arey yaar....I did cut down her phone slowly and slowly. but she still can't digest it. I might have done a mistake but trust me going through first trimester throwing up, having pain in stomach, can't keep the food down and feeling crap all day, at that time you don't care what others are thinking about you. You just want to focus on your health. But my mother in law is treating me like I am in the advance stage of Cancer and I will die in few days. I am at the edge...doesn't matter what my mother in law or my husband think of me. I am not going to take it. I wanted to be a good DIL too, but you know what it doesn't work. You still become victim no matter how much you do your best.

Originally Posted by rya

hi amicable,
i cautioned you before not to do the mistake as i did...now,it is now turned towards you as though you have made a mistake...same situation happened to me and i pitty you as you are also sailing in the same boat..my MIL calls my husband everyday and expect me to talk everyday and who are all in th house also included..that's why i told you to handle with care...
thanks

hi amicable,
i too had a desire to be a good DIL..but even for me that doesn't work..but now,i will tell you the result of mine..what i did was,when i slowed down and cut,they made it as a big issue and after days has gone,now,my condition is nobody is pestering me to call(they were tired of shouting) but my husband has a desire that i should move freely with his people but till now i cannot aproach them,because if i go close,they will decide for me.. i cannot decide things even for my sake..i know it will go to that level..that's why i simply don't care about what my husband thinks about me..sometimes if my MIL is not well,i used to call them and enquire abt her health..that's all...now what you can do is(it is only my suggestion),call your mother in law and explain softly to her everything that you are not trying to avoid her but u cannot speak due to your pregnancy..or else talk openly with your husband and mother in law(both at a time,when she comes),when time comes.don't be afraid...till that time just leave it as what i did..sorry to say that your mother in law is too imaginative where she cannot have the capacity to understand things like my MIL..that's what i understood..if things has gone beyond your control,i tell you simply don't care...do whatever you want ....join some school as what i did...
thanks