In-Laws or Out laws?

Now that the original topic has anyway taken a turn, I would like to add to the current few posts on why women after entering a new home feel the difference. Be it having accomodating ILs around or not. I recently read a book called "Women & the weight loss Tamasha" by Rujuta Diwekar. I really recommend this book to each n every women out here & men too. No this book although is about losing weight by eating nutrituous food, it has bits about our current topic, why women feel that change so badly & either they try to retaliate to the changes which others try to bring in them or they simply give in.........both situations...they are at the losing end.

A few things the book has:

1) A newly married DIL was ridiculed for the way she made a bhindi subzi.....it was not the taste, it was the way she cut the bhindi.:bang Her FIL ridiculed her for not being able to do basics like cut bhindi properly. She kept wondering what went wrong..after all this is how they used to cut the bhindi in her mom's place. She always knew only that way of cutting bhindi.... Get the point?

2) First night for a newly wed couple in many cultures is in a way celebrated by decorating room, ushering the bride with a glass of milk in the room etc. Period. She doesnt know what next has to happen, who should innitiate, or should she wait for her groom. What she knows is....she will have to bear immense pain on the first night. & pain is utmost necessary for a women, coz this pain, the monthly menses pain, all these are suppose to prepare a women to bear the pain when having a child.....yes the labour pain.:roll: (After reading the book I was enlightened that menstrual pain in common only if you are not fit:shock: yes thats waht the book says)

3) Our bodies are used to certain foods, taste, color for almost 22-26yrs+ Suddenly like the bhindi episode, taste, food changes. Although women either try to adjust are made to adjust our internal system doesnt approve of the changes al of sudden. Thats the main reason women either put on lot of weight or lose tons of weight.

There are lot of such things in the book which does make lots of sense & left me to thinking mode.

 

:shock::shock::shock::shock:

The reason why my life sucks for 4 days each month ??????? I object!!!! :hide:

Why does my DH not get this?? He thinks I am not able to bear "even" this pain.. Yes dearies, the word "even" is stressed so hard by that masculine strong headed dumbo.

I am also sorry for going off track but I am going through one of those painful days right now, and I have decided that in the next birth, I am going to be a male, and DH will be the wife. {Insert monster laugh here}

 

Dearie... talk talk talk to him about this openly. Thats what I did. During my initial months after marriage as well as when I was carrying my LO. I enlightened him on all that I am going through, the mense pains, the uncomfortableness, the mood swings due to hormonal changes....blah blah........During pregnancy how again the hormones play a vital or fatal role in mood changes.......i used to literally google sites which explained in lay-man language & make him read it. That way I found him more concerned towards my changing body during pregnancy, my needs, my change in tastes etc.

Smriti, Men are zero in all these things & somehow our Indian way of upbringing is largely responsible for this. So someone has to do the job (winky). You know during my college days I was part of NSS & we had once arranged a seminar on adult education. Our prof incharge, a lady (quite conservative one) was initially reluctanct but gave in later for such topic. Believe me all throught the seminar, she was carrying a blank expression behind which thoughts like how such young speaker was so elaborately speaking to a mixed group of males & females, or what would the college management think of her for letting such topic to be discussed.

 

Oh yes DG.. I'm goin to get that DH (Dumb Husband) understand the pains of being a lady!

Can I be sued for physical cruelty if I were to wax his chest when he is sleeping???? :hide:

On a serious note, I have downloaded a few articles, which I plan to show to DH to enlighten him. I just need time alone with him, which is difficult to come by. So wishing for a day when he doesnt have work and in-laws are away....

 

:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl

 

You may want to direct him to: PMS Central | PMS Calender - Premenstrual syndrome - PMS Types and Information - assuming he is open and does not brush it off as 'woman stuff'. It may help convey the idea that it's not just you who is 'complaining'. It's not an active site, but still has lots of info.
The average male most definitely has no grasp of physiology. Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder can be very debilitating indeed.

 

Thanks a ton!!

 

Smriti,
You can get supplements for PMS from pharmacy which are really effective.

 

I say, wax first.

Then when the victim is more receptive (promise of furture waxing sessions), then show the downloaded articles. ;-)

 

Funny is an understatement for you:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl