SILs/DILs of different kinds

Gaur78 · Mar 14, 2012

<m:smallfrac m:val="off"> <m:dispdef> <m:lmargin m:val="0"> <m:rmargin m:val="0"> <m:defjc m:val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440"> <m:intlim m:val="subSup"> <m:narylim m:val="undOvr"> </m:narylim></m:intlim> </m:wrapindent> </m:defjc></m:rmargin></m:lmargin></m:dispdef></m:smallfrac>Disclaimer: The case studies are based only on 50% of SILs/DILs. So the rest, please don’t pound on me for starting this discussion.
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Dear IL-ites,

Here I'm with case studies of different SILs/DILs...

Case 1:

This is an interesting case ! She will pretend like a good DIL, SIL in the family but she will bad mouth them at their back, in their neighbourhood. She will do all the household chores without hesitation but she will have limitations and she will do her work on quota basis. Funny, isn’t it? If she has cooked for lunch, she will not cook for dinner.

She will talk so sweetly to DH’s parents, she will not raise her voice at any circumstance but fire them in their absence. One of her PIL expired recently and she was pestering the other for a share in the property. She will not take care of her DH & kid properly but expect a share from DH’s parent’s deeds.

Case 2:

This is a peculiar case. One cannot ascertain the nature of her. She will talk nicely if she likes and will show her face-off, if she doesn’t like. She has serious attitude problem and bit egoistic, sadistic in nature. She will laugh at the misery of others. She wants everyone to fall at her feet. Always interested in creating disputes within the family or people around. Besides all, she’s a big liar and plays dual game within the family. She has laid lots of rules for her DH and expected him to follow it blindfold. There are certain people in the world who can’t be changed even by GOD. And she is one among them.

Case 3:

She neither bother about her DH nor about her PIL. Still she consider her parents, her brothers are the only family she has. I do not blame her. But she has to consider her DH and his family as well. She will not allow her kids to talk to her PILs. So sad ! I don’t want to talk about her.

Case 4:

This is a strange case. It happened in a love marriage. The guy even went ahead and had converted to her caste to marry her. But she can’t sacrifice anything for him. Within a month of married life, she came to her parent’s home. She doesn’t like to stay with her in-laws and says that she do not like the house as it is very small compared to theirs. She asked him to come out of his family to stay in her home. He denied and now he has rented a home and living separately.

If you have come across any interesting cases, please share it here..

PS: I do not have any hatre on SILs/DILs. I’ll soon be back with ‘DHs of different kinds'.</m:defjc></m:rmargin></m:lmargin></m:dispdef></m:smallfrac>

daffny · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

it is of different DILs or SILs?

anyway, we all will come under any of these cases or some combination of these i think.

zainabsarfraz · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

Dear Gaur,

I think you have not yet come across a good DIL, ppl of this category are rarest of rare and the very precious ones. They know, hw to respect their inlaws, knws the family values and their limits. She can stand against the world for her hubby, love her kids to max and maintain the family balance. She knws hw to put her words and when to.... relax im not speaking abt the saas bahu serial DIL's its real but extinguishing breed.. most of them are from our mom's era one are two keep poping up in this era also...

aaral · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

Life is all about give and take. But now a days it is more about taking than giving.

aaral · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

zainabsarfraz said: ↑

Dear Gaur,

I think you have not yet come across a good DIL, ppl of this category are rarest of rare and the very precious ones. They know, hw to respect their inlaws, knws the family values and their limits. She can stand against the world for her hubby, love her kids to max and maintain the family balance. She knws hw to put her words and when to.... relax im not speaking abt the saas bahu serial DIL's its real but extinguishing breed.. most of them are from our mom's era one are two keep poping up in this era also...
Click to expand...

We should learn from our mother's era and may this small precious tribe increase.

mybaby1 · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

i have come across one type.
she will allways keep on chanting about great indian culture and also teaching others about it. But when it comes to herself forgets everything. Like after marriage girls should stay with her ILs, take care of husband, dress in indian way, follow ils rituals n beliefs, etc. but for herself won't follow a single of it.
so the good things & teachings just for others...

mybaby1 · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

aaral said: ↑

Life is all about give and take. But now a days it is more about taking than giving.
Click to expand...

I completely agree with you. But as parents it is our duty to teach this to our children.I am saying this because i have seen this in my ILs family they have taught their children(2 girls n 1 boy) that it is just the responsibily of boy to look after ans give things to sisters and they are just to receive not to give anything.My MIL will always keep on singing "ladkiyon ko hamesha dia hi jaata hai".she must have been saying this to her children right from the childhood so its like gone into their blood and they behave that way.the girls are allways ready to take things from both the hands but hardly give anything(inspite of the fact that both of them are earning in 6 figures.)and the boy he allways thinks that its his responsibility to keep on giving gifts (not occasionaly)to them even after marriage also and now its not just them their husband and kids are also added.
what an irony.
so what i have decided that i am going not to let my kids learn this thing, teaching them to be equally giving and receiving wellofcourse if there is not any financial constraint.i forgot to mention the boy will loan himself for giving grand gifts to his sisters as to him it is a biggggggg responsibility for him to gift them but those SILs don't have to give anything to him or his kid or wife..

Gaur78 · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

zainabsarfraz said: ↑

Dear Gaur,

I think you have not yet come across a good DIL, ppl of this category are rarest of rare and the very precious ones. They know, hw to respect their inlaws, knws the family values and their limits. She can stand against the world for her hubby, love her kids to max and maintain the family balance. She knws hw to put her words and when to.... relax im not speaking abt the saas bahu serial DIL's its real but extinguishing breed.. most of them are from our mom's era one are two keep poping up in this era also...
Click to expand...

Dear Zain,

I'm talking about the other side of the coin and you are talking about the other. Infact, I've added a disclaimer in my other thread and now edited this thread with the same.

There are good DILs/SILs, the precious one on earth. I came across those too.. Among the stone, they would shine like a diamond. But there is always some problem with those stones. And hence framed by case studies considering those.

Gaur78 · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

aaral said: ↑

Life is all about give and take. But now a days it is more about taking than giving.
Click to expand...

Dear Aaral,

When people started to give more preference to money, relationship started to die ! They would get anything in this materialistic world. Would they get a shoulder to cry on? Would they get a granny for their kids?

Gaur78 · Mar 14, 2012

Re: SILs of different kinds

mybaby1 said: ↑

so what i have decided that i am going not to let my kids learn this thing, teaching them to be equally giving and receiving wellofcourse if there is not any financial constraint.i forgot to mention the boy will loan himself for giving grand gifts to his sisters as to him it is a biggggggg responsibility for him to gift them but those SILs don't have to give anything to him or his kid or wife..
Click to expand...

Dear Mybaby1,

I totally disagree with the mother who taught her son to gift his sisters. Don't these sisters do not have self-respect. If they are expecting from their brother, then they should do the same. They take undue advantage on him !

At any point of time, I wouldn't expect my brother to help me or I would knock his door for help.

Last week, I had a chat with one of my uncle. He has 3 sisters and 1 elder brother. All of them got married and settled (Not well off, struggling to meet their monthly needs). He said that his sisters will come every time to him for help and he does everything to them till date. He said that he did this & that and no one did anything to his kids. He further complained that sister's husbands are useless. Who found those useless? Is it he or his parents? Don't they know this before getting them married?

I also wonder how these sisters would expect his brother's help often. When he neglected to help one of his sister, she started to badmouth him. I simply asked him, 'Everyone have got married and settled, and why did you help them still? If you stop helping them, why they would come back to you?. He replied, 'People in the society, his relatives will not respect him'.

So if he's doing for namesake then why he would expect the same from his sister? People are materialistic !