Brother's wife destroyed the family

there is no solution for this issue as far as i know...still i want to share this here.

ours is a middle class family and our parents worked hard to brought us up(i hav an elder sis and bro) what we are today..my brother respected my parents and they were highly esteemed by him...even i was a spoilt college goin brat and had silly fights with my parents ...but my bro just adored them for the sacrifices they made for his education and upbringing.. he landed up in a software job went to US and provided us financial comfort since then.. my sis got married and settled in US. 8years ago he met a gal on a matrimony portal and wanted to marry her(and also to finish up the greencard process)...since birth she had some hearing problems and using hearing aid. my bro asked for our approval telling her disability..we are very broad minded ppl...we talked to her parents and herself and we liked them and decided to ignore her disability and though my sis had a diff opinion i told my bro that he is doin a very good thing by giving life to a differently abled person. i encouraged him..as he was hectic with work he had only little time visit india and finish the weddin process..we took care of everything...we shared wedding expenses...and told them strictly NO DOWRY. just after 5days of marriage they flew to US due to time constrictions. my brother used to call us everyday..which reduced to once in a week.. we understood that he is not a bachelor anymore. he used to send 500$ per month. my mom told him to not send any money until they settle there comfortably. she said 6or 9 months or even a year.. they had spent quite a money on my sis & bro wedding...they literally had no money for my wedding... also i wasnt interested in marriage then ..wanted to pursue my studies further. not to say that there were tiny misunderstandings started between my parents and my bro family in three years while their visits those times i supported my sil and bro telling my parents that they are very good ppl and dont blame them.. i served as a bridge between the two ..

time went on...and i showed green signal for marriage..my parents started seeking alliances on matri online portal.. i share everythin with bro and i never saw my sil as a diff person i liked them joinin in to choose the right person for me.. they know passwords for my bride profile and my personal email... thats when the prob started btwn me and my sil. as i were loggin in quite often as i was curious certain messages started gettin deleted especially from the grooms from US. (am tellin a spade is spade here..not exaggerating) certain interests were deleted..i asked my bro about it just to know...he denied it and yelled at me of accusing them. my sil called up a proposal and told him that i dont know english. which my bro told me later that she was tellin the truth to the guy as ur english is not enuf for US culture!! and they always started recommending inappropriate proposals and made a big fuss yelling at me on phone if i deny them. my sil told me on phone that i wont get married at all if i keep on rejectin proposals and will only get second marriage proposals or 20years older than me. for all that we had done to let her married to my bro!!! i was broken into pieces..

then i changed my passwords and started lookin into profiles myself and chosen the very nice guy i deserve. my sil made my bro cut off relations wit me after my successful weddin...she cudnt bear it at all..without involving her in anything..i got a better life which she hadnt imagined.(she even mentioned me that i cant get in to US without a MCA as software profs prefer this line...she has told me that am good for nothin) from that time onwards she has changed into a monster finding faults in every thing whatever my parents do. she cant express her grudge on me as the relationship is totally cut...she started pouring everthin on my parents.. she made my bro make a ugly deal with my parents which is "if u want money for ur daughter's wedding you have to come to us and work for us to take care of our daughter..which my mom agreed-she had no choice)

she went to stay with them to look after their kid... where she was abused like anything. she was always supervised by a nanny cam. her phone calls were overheard and recorded even while she talked to my dad. she was shouted at even for tiniest mistakes when the kid spilled the food when she was feeding that she is spoiling the carpet. when my mom had sprain and limping doing all the household work she wasnt even given any medicine for pain. when my started crying on the phone to my dad my bro put order that she should not call anybody from then on... and they put false accusations on her that she abused their daughter while she was alone (later my mom explained to me that she said that she spoke to the kid that if she doesnt eat well she will keep the food for dog...as our grandmoms hav said that to get us eat properly) for this my mom was called a dog that she will be leashed like a dog (in tamil)by my sil when my bro went to office.. my bro dint believe when my mom said that to him..finally she literally fell on his feet and told him to get a return ticket to india asap.
thats it the family is broken pieces now. he never calls my parents...even if he does says harsh words and humiliate them.. one time he talking about forgetting everything other time he talks that they are worthless people dont even show affection toward their grand kids. they still send gifts on their daughter b'days..but no phone calls even to thank them for gift...they visisted india two times after this big fight. they never visited my parents.. they attended the same wedding that my parents attended..but dint talk to them.. i dont mind my bro not talking to us sisters..but i want him realize his mistakes and talk to my parents.. they hav done nothing wrong other than gettin married him to a gal who has sever attitude issues and inferiority complex.

 

hi flowerlady, thanks. i forgot to mention that my bro already stopped sending any money to my parents since my marriage. my dad getting govt pension. and yes me and my sis talk to them regularly..my mom kept so much affection on my bro that she breaks into tears everytime he calls to humiliate her. he wasnt such a person..thats what kills her. she dint even want him send any money..she just expect him to call once in a month and talk to her nicely..ask about her health thats all.. as a sil myslf i actually realize that my bro and sil wud hav diff version of story.. but what happend to my mom when she went to US to take care of their kid ...its not happening all the time and in every house. infact i left to mention a lot many other things that happend.. anyways, i knew that it will not be solved until my bro come to a self realization. and i dont see it happening in the near future.

 

Dear padmatvt, thanks for ur kind wishes to my parents..it means a lot to me

 

thanks radhika79...as i said my bro himself stopped sendin money since past three years. my dad never calls him. my mom call in the occasions just to wish...still she just wishin the answer machine every time. my bro himself will call all of a sudden and tell things to her. indeed, my sis and myself giving lot of emotional support to mom dad. my mom gets broken only when my bro unneccessarily calls and ask for undue apologies.