The Art of Turning Deaf - Compilation of Ideas

The best answer is silence. Just don't say anything at all. Just tell yourself that you are happy the way you are keeping your home. Sooner or later your mil will stop cribbing.

 

:bonk Same in my case.. I feel my MIl have some cleaning problem, every time she is cleaning bla..i don't know I mean when we bcm MIL then what is going to happenm:drowning

 

Don't listen, don't even allow it to enter your ears. Just nod along and think of a happy place/tune.

I bet she does not think twice before opening her mouth. Why validate it by listening.

 

My MIL is also a cleanliness freak... to point that.. even if she has to use dry red chillies for cooking.. she will wash it and use...

On our last trip, both my co-SILs were also in India...for my in-laws Shashtipoorthi... when either of them would cook.. she used to take me aside and say that they dont wash veggies before cooking and all..
Later, I had to stay back due to my stamping issues....she was sick for a few days and I did all the cooking.. my FIL ate everything nicely saying its good and tasty.. but she didnt touch one thing I made.. saying she is too sick to eat.. but then she asked FIL to get idlis and ate them very well...

 

Hi,

This is how I do - This was suggested by my dad (he is my best friend and guide)
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I hope everyone agrees that - You can predict how MIL would behave/react in certain situations. When she reacts the same, I say to my self - NOT AGAIN!!!!! and I feel frustrated.
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When I shared above feeling with my dad - he asked me 2 questions ( totally irrelevant questions...but later made sense to me)
1. Will scientist feel frustrated if his experiment gave results as expected/predicted ?
2. Will a little boy get frustrated if he predicts that the bell on the streets is from ice-cream vendor and it turns out to be correct ? - Wouldn't they smile at their success of their prediction.

Me - YES, they would smile
My dad - Then, why cant u smile when your prediction about ur MIL truns out to be correct? why do u get frustrated.
Me - I cant smile...it is impossible
My dad - give it a go next time...smile at ur correct predictions and see what happens.
I just laughed at my dad and left the topic there.
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Next day at my MIL's place - we had some visitors(MIL's friend) and as soon as they went...I knew she would start praising/comparing her friend's DIL with me(this happens every time).As expected my MIL did the same.I felt - not again!!!!! immediately the conversation with my dad striked to my mind and smiled at my dad's suggestion. My MIL had no clue why I was smiling.She stopped the topic and stared at me.

From then on, I smile and she has no clue why I smile
End result - No more frustration to me and heaps of confusion to MIL

 

Wow....this is a great post...learnt some great tactics. Here are some coping strategies that I have developed over the years....First two years I ignored, next two years I practiced blank stare. Now for some of her patent dialogues I have developed my own answers.

MIL - You are so lucky you work from home....My poor daughter has to go to work, and then take care of the house...
ME - I know I am so lucky, I thank God everyday for my good luck. Maybe your daughter can also look for a job like mine I am sure with all her talent it should not be difficult for her.

MIL - My son is very handsome, in your wedding everyone was only looking at him and was praising him.
ME - I know, he was looking too good. Everyone was only talking about him. You should remove his nazar....she never says that again.

MIL - Your parents' house is so small...
ME - I know not everybody is as lucky as you.


Wakes up at 8:30 when husband is just about to leave to work. As soon as husband leaves she starts questioning - what did you give in tiffin. How many rotis? did you give pickle, did you give yogurt? When husband calls from work - she will confirm everything that I gave by asking him all the above questions.
After a few weeks I got pissed and when she asked me same question again I pretended I did not hear it. Then she repeated herself - I politely told her, why did you want me to pack something in special if that is the case maybe you can wake up early and help me pack his tiffin tomorrow. He would really like it if you pack his tiffin

 

I just nod and smile when she keeps boasting about herself. At times she would keep boasting to people without realizing they are many times better than her in whatever she is boasting about, only thing they don't walk around claiming they are the best.

I pretend like I didn't hear a word said by her when she is talking to others actually hinting on me. I will immediately act like she is not talking and talk about some other topic to others.

If she says I need to do something in such and such way, I just say OK but for sure I will never follow it. Sometimes I will openly say I don't like to do it that way.

For some time now, I don't take to heart anything she or her people say. I hate them to the core and they don't mean anything to me. I don't want to waste my precious time dwelling on those morons.

 

Good God !!! Smriti.. By any chance are your Mil and my Mil twin sisters ???

 

Adding my knowledge base to this good thread...

Whenever I see the nasty comments coming from MIL..I would want to attend nature's call... once it so happend that I had to do this twice or thrice in an hour... my MIL asked what happend.... I had no other way than to admit I had diarrhea...ha ha

If its not nature's call.. then it would be boss' call ... I'll see a mail in my BB and would want to call / write to the boss urgently to update something... next half an hour gone..

is this what is known as the art of living life in days and minutes???

 

friends i also was turning deaf to my Ilws for allmost 3yrs.but they take u for granted and keep poking at me.so now after 6yrs i have given back to them ,giving solace to my pent up feelings