Very awkward experience with MIL

Hi Sashi,

Since no one is replying, let me bite the bullet first

I definitely think this is weird and sneaky behavior on the part of your MIL. At the same time you have to handle these episodes tactfully without wounding your hubby's feelings. If it still continues then I guess you have to take a harder stand.

My suggestions would be:

1. Try to play some music or TV in your bedroom at night (not too loud but not too soft either...I guess you'll be able to judge the right amount of noise you need!) so that any personal conversations or intimate sounds won't be heard outside, IF you MIL is indeed eavesdropping. Hopefully, she will either get the hint or simply give up!

2. I'd hate to have anyone wear my clothes without my permission, leave alone see my MIL flaunt them. So, offer to take her out to stores telling her she will find better fit and more variety outside. Politely, but firmly tell her that she can buy as many new clothes as she wants to but your wardrobe is off limits...if she does not pay heed, simply lock up your wardrobe!

Hope you get to handle these problems firmly but politely.

Cheers,
Carol

 

Oh my God! this indeed shows a cheap attitude of your MIL , how can she ever be so curious to know what is happening in her son's bedroom. Though my MIL was not very good either, but in such cases she was very careful not to even pass by our room if we were together even during the day. (together here means just sitting and chatting or doing some other chores).

U can openly tell her u were annoyed to c her at the door, you could have put it this way " My God I was suddenly scared to c u here in the middle of the night? what is it that you actually wanted?" I am sure she would have been embarrassed to the core and will have no answer for that.

This is the most irritating thing, how can lady in her fifties or sixties compare her body to a lady who is in her twenties, even if it fits her, she will have bulges here and there, just forget that incident and laugh it of. good luck

 

My God, I just hate these kind of people.I too have faced the same situation in my life.
Once when I opened the door to bring water from the kitchen , my MIL was sitting on her knees and bending down.(may be she tried to hear from the door gap in the floor)
And since she didn't expect me that time, she murmured as if she was searching her podi dabba with the lights off.lol.
Then I asked her to switch on the lights and search for the thing.lol
I too don't know about how many times she did that.shameless creatures.

 

1) start lockign your doors when u sleep....and i like the music idea somebody mentioned
2) clothes....it could be her dead desire she could never fullfilled and may be she is looking up to you hence want to be like you, or it could be somewhere u expressed how much u like that shirt and she really wants to upset you. If it is not the later (upset you) then i guess take her to your wardrobeand show her what she wants when u r going for outings.....etc. In my in-laws place we have to do it, it is a custom and i had hard time adjusting, now i offer it to SIL and MIL(ofcourse MIL and I can fit in the same size luckily, and I have told her through my DH that my closet is somethign she would not enter) Initially i took her and let her pick and my SIL and now my MIL would not even care. Only time she stole (not literally) my faviorite thing was my purse (genereally when she says she likes something of mine, i give it to her to use forever...but for purse she did not mention anything of that sort, she directly said let's exchange purse and I was so annoyed and i played tricks but she remembered to get my purse before i left India So i know it hurts when they take away our stuff without asking if we r ok. But it is like feed somebody so much they will say not to food theirselves...thatway, keep her giving ur stuff and she what happenes

 

Talk about a sneaky MIL. Music would be your best bet. Looks like she is totally jealous of you when she wears your shirt and pant. You can try locking your wardrobe else she might wear it when you are away. Buy her something nice and tell her she looks very pretty for her age. Just my thoughts shashi!!

 

Hi Shashi,
it is really awkward when your own MIL sneaks like this at night time. You could have let your husband know in a different way, like telling him that his mother was uneasy/or feeling home scik or something like that at night time and was standing near the bedroom door- in front of her and telling that she may need some help. That way she won't be ableto say anything. Anyway, it is behind you, try to forget that. Indians usually borrow things without asking permission, we have not learnt many thins from the world in such things. Even my sister will borrow saree, jewellery etc. from our SILs all the time. I don't like that and will tell her too, she will never listen.
My FIL gave away my bicycle to my husband's brother's daughter when I got pregnant, saying that I will not need a cycle anymore (as if I have lost my legs).

 

Hi Sashi,

I too had same experience, But MIL 's soo smart...In india our bedroom is close to dinning hall and that to dinning table. she sneaks upon us as if she is cleaning dining table, getting water out of freezer. She does this things while switching lights off. As i noticed her behavior, i kept running fan at high speeds, even kept AC on. kept light music on computer while me and my DH are in bedroom at nights.. MIL's , she got irritated ...to my shock she directly asked my DH not to close bedroom door while we are in there.....and also told my mom to tell me the same...