Update from my side

Dear All,

There is some update from my side and I thought of sharing with all of you..........

So my in-laws are still here. They are leaving in 5 days. I spoke to my husband after he came back from Chicago and we decided to go for Counseling too.....But I have to admit being in Indusladies has helped me a lot. I came up with a strategy to ignore whatever my in-laws said. There were times when my MIL instigated to have a fight with me, but I told her right on her face that I was not interested in having any confrontation with her.....I was not interested to fight with her.

I stopped complaining about her to my husband. I stopped it completely. Now I don't care what they think and do. I simply DON'T care. Everyday when my husband comes home, my MIL has loads of complaints against me......Bubai is arrogant, Bubai didn't ask if we had breakfast, Bubai does not care for us.....

Now my husband is totally confused because there is no complaint from my side. Its like I am a totally changed person. I have stopped screaming and shouting, I have stopped cribbing about things, I have stopped complaining about my in-laws to my husband.........And I can proudly say I see a big difference in his attitude now. I DO think that if a husband genuinely loves the wife, eventually he will be able to see the efforts she is putting in.

This pregnancy has been very hard on me with a lot of stress but I am sure I have learnt my lesson. My MIL came here with an excuse of helping me out but she went to all places for sight-seeing. My husband was telling me the other day how selfish his parents are and how they brag about things. Well, it is none of my business......I know who are MY FOLKS and who genuinely care for me. I miss work and am planning to join work in 7-8 months. I have found a part-time nanny too.

Things are not perfect but they are OK. Thanks to all of you!! This is life I guess and we all learn.........

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Luv,

--Bubai

 

Srividya,

I can never ever thank you.....I have read your replies in Akruti's forum and I agree with you so much. I have decided that I am going to spend all my energy in building up a strong relationship with my husband. I always felt we had a strong relationship, but somehow we lost tracks.....

Actually now my in laws are also keeping quiet because if they shout they will look like fools as I am NOT reacting at all. Thanks again!! I apprecaite the time you have taken to post here, Srividya.....

Hi Mihisha,

Thanks dear......How have you been? We are actually not sure about the ADHD thing. He might have a mild form of ADHD. I was always hyper and looking back now I think I was an ADHD child myself. We will deal with it when the time comes.

But as a parent I want to bring up my children in an environment which is not hostile and kids grow happily. I never liked it when my parents used to fight and I will do anything so that my children don't go through the same life. I still think my marriage is strong, the only hitch was that I didn't know how to keep my distance from my in laws and how to handle them.......am learning now. I can get really angry at times when I am provoked. I need to change myself a bit too.......just like any human being I have my own flaws......Lets see......

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Luv,

--Bubai

 

Thanks Tulipzz and Vasu,

Yes, I am just ignoring them......They are leaving in 2 days and they are scared now. They know that I don't pick up the calls from people I don't like and NOW they know they will be in THAT category. My husband is too busy to entertain their phone calls and as far as I am interested, well.....I am NOT interested. They know that they are totally dependent on me to hear their grandson's voice and I WILL NOT be entertaining their calls....

My MIL had once told me that she didn't need anything in life because she had money and a husband......Well, I guess money does not buy happiness. She is the most unhappy person I have ever seen. I am so DONEEEEEEEEEE with both of them. To me, they are just two buffons.....

A month back my MIL was so angry at me when I woke up at 9:00 am.......She asked me "You don't care if we have eaten breakfast or not......blah blah blah........" I looked into her eyes and said "In last 2 months, you have never asked your pregnant DIL if she wants to eat anything special, then why should I ask"...........I turned back and said "The last thing I want in my life right now is any sort of confrontation with you" and I walked away. She stood there like a fool, not knowing how to react. If she expected her 7 month pregnant DIL to wake up in the morning and cook breakfast for her......ha ha.....She was so so so wrong.

My husband hasn't complained since that day because he knows I haven't fought/screamed at them.

I remember reading one of Srividya's posts and it made such a big impression in my mind........Really if we want, we can ill-treat people just by ignoring them and by NOT talking to them. I am so glad I learnt my lesson.

The best thing is that because I am NOT fighting now.......they have started picking up fights with their son......It clearly shows how my in-laws want their ego to be massaged...........but who cares? Their true color is out and clear......

Take care ladies!!!

--Bubai