Is my cousin jealous of me?

Hi.

I am very close with my cousin.
She's atleast 12 years older than me.

She's married and has a kid.
I am married too.
We used to talk over the phone atleast 4 times a week, and each call will be more than an hour. We talk about our family, in laws, cooking, movies, anything and everything that comes to our mind.

Most of the conversations will be about her in laws.
She will either praise some of her in laws or have some complains about the rest of them.
I patiently listen to everything she says and sometimes give my views too.

The problem is she doesn't listen when I talk about my in laws (which I don't do often), especially when I say good things about them. Like my hubby's cousin getting good results and getting a scholarship to do medicine, his niece being quite smart for her age, when I talk bout his cousins weddings, etc.

Why is that so?
Is she jealous since my hubby's cousins, nieces and nephews are so much more intelligent than her daughter and her husband's nieces and nephews?

She would talk about her husband's side wedding for hours, telling each and every little detail. But when I start something about my hubby's cousin's wedding, she will cut the conversation and talk something else.

Hubby's cousin scored straight A's and her hubby's nephew just got 1 or 2 A's. She was talking about him not getting place in good universities. I told bout my hubby's cousin getting a government scholarship to do medicine. My cousin just changed the topic. She didn't even appreciate the girl for doing very well but when she hears about others doing well in exams she'll appreciate and praise them a lot.

Even when I say something about my husband, she immediately changes the topic and it's very obvious.

Could it be because my hubby is quiet and shy?
He hardly talks to any of my cousins or relatives and this makes them think hubby is not a good guy, egoistic, etc?

In fact there was once she did mention about her husband's niece's husband (they got married recently) that he's a good guy since he came looking for her and talked to her nicely even at a big function. She says that's respect.

Say her husband's side ppl get married to someone who has a rich relative overseas, she would in a sarcastic tone as me whether my hubby has a rich relative overseas.

I am being very nice to her and consider her as my own sister.
I don't understand why is she doing this to me?
It hurts me when she avoids talking about my hubby.

Now, I have decided not to mention anything about my hubby and in laws to her.
Will only say something if she happens to ask anything about them, in fact she'll ask in a 'don't like so' tone.
I have also reduced calling her now.

Can anyone please advice on this scenario?
I can't do the same to her, I mean like avoiding the conversations bout her husband and in laws since I think it's my nature not to hurt others even when they hurt me. :drowning

Sometimes I think of not giving so much importance to our relationship (cousin and me) since she doesn't seem to like my hubby, and anyone who doesn't like my hubby can get lost from my life. But I consider her as my own sister since I have no sisters and would like to be close with her forever, atleast my children will have an aunt and cousin.

 

Hi Jyothigandham,

I have highlighted my points in red.

 

Hi lavii,

Yeah some ppl only like talking about themselves or only something they are interested in. :bonk But it would seem natural and we don't feel like they want to purposely cut other ppl's conversation.

Like some ppl non stop talk bout their children or grand children, as if we really bother..haha. My MIL is one of them. Keeps repeating the same story. I doubt whether she forgets of telling it earlier or wants to make sure I or we really get it into our heads bout her sacrifices and her ability in maths. I get really fed up listening to her over and over again. :hide:

ps: lavii, you should spend extra time with your mum. once in a while try talking some good things bout your dad too. now that her dear spouse is not with her anymore, you and your siblings should show that you care and love her.

 

hi ars,

yes she did listen to me whenever i spoke to her all these while and even did after i got married 4 years back, she just started behaving like this for the past few months. it hurts a lot when someone dear to me does this to me.

well we don't talk 4 times a week like we used to do but now atleast once in 2 weeks. depends.. when any occasions coming up then maybe like every 2-3 days once till the occasion.

you are right. im gona reduce talking to her now. in fact it would be better if i stop calling. she'll get the hint that im not happy bout her not liking to talk bout my hubby etc. im fine with it, it's her right whom she wants to like and dislike and for watever reason. but when she dislikes my hubby then im disliking her too.

she can call if she wants. i'll talk to her nicely.

 

hi peartree,

im very sure that im not showing off and there's no reason for me to show off either since it's just my in laws.

and i never told her that they are smarter than her daughter, but just wondering whether that's how she feels and is intimidated by it. it's not that i start telling her bout my hubby's
cousins results, there are many who sit for the same exam in our family, her husband's family and my hubby's family. so we share info bout each of them. she's very keen to know bout others but changes the topic (in an unpleasant tone) when it comes to my hubby's ppl.

there's no need for me to highlight the good things in my hubby's family since im not gona get anything out of it. :spin

i wish i could change the topic and talk bout other things too (sometimes feel bored when she talks so much bout her in laws), but i don't wana hurt her by cutting the conversations. :hide: