Anu,
From what i know. In our family DH has gone 12 times. after marriage around 4 times.
your husband needs yours and his parents
full hearted perimission for wearing the mala. (first time a definite must, but always needs your approval.) maybe the reason is because of all the norms that have to be followed.
The next permission of kuladeivam by tying a 1.25 rs in a turmeric stained cloth.
the first time mala should be by a guruswamy,if possible.
no sleeping on the bed.
morning you can have your breakfast/coffee only after pooja and sarana gosham and the same in the evening. you have to take a bath after coming from outside.
no slippers, was before. now due to the job requirements it is ok to the office. but otherwise you need to go barefoot.
black dhoti is the dress at home. (DH wears saffron. DS wears black shorts, black shirt. DD did wear black skirt and black shirt.). no shaving or hair cut. i have been told not even oil. though many apply oil these days.
complete abstinence
vegetarian food preferably without onion and garlic.
(satvik food)
in our home it is one meal in the morning before going to the office. and tiffin in the late evening after pooja.
During your periods you cannot cook for him. if you have eaten that food, it should not be served to him. we are not supposed to see them. if at all required, he does need to take a bath. me and dh used to talk over telephone those 3 days.
.
This is followed for the 41days.
the rest of the pooja before irumudi will be taken care by whoever is going to take. you need to follow what is told by the guruswamy.
all the best.
I have just given you a idea of what we follow at home. do as per your convenience and also remember everyone cannot go, unless he calls you, so he will guide you. if your dh is going to be a kanni
swamiye saranam.
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