Mantra for peaceful love marriage

Kiruthigamca · Sep 13, 2012

Hi,

I am a south indian and in love with a north indian guy. We were so happy together. My parents accepted for our marriage but his parents denied since im a south indian and belong to other caste too. He was so confident and he tried to convince them but at the end he backed out and decided to forget me though he is not happy with his decision. They gave him choice to choose between either of us.

Life is so miserable after that, he was not only my partner, he was my best friend. Both are suffering, even my family is suffering since they are not able to bear my pain. Im 26 and now my family has started to search for other guys since they cant wait anymore. My mother knew very well that im not gonna be happy with anyone else but she also doesn't have any choice.

I have totally surrendered myself in God's feet now. Even my mother. I did all the pooja's and visited most of the temples to overcome the obstacle in marriage. I am chanting Katyani mantra daily, started to say Sita Gayatri mantra and Kaamdev gayatri mantra. Found somewhere that reading sundara kandam will help. Kindly tell me the procedure to read sundara kandam.

PLS suggest me any ways to get him back in my life and to clear all the obstacles for us to get married. Even our horoscope match is perfect. It's 31.5/36. Since the issue we are facing is beyond us.

Kindly help me...

velkavi · Sep 13, 2012

i cud say u believe in god and belive in urself..this is the time for you both to decide i feel..Let u both try once more and if its not working better u both get married soon

Kiruthigamca · Sep 13, 2012

Hi Velkavi,

thanks for your reply..Neither of us are happy with this life. He tried several times to convince his parents. From my side, everyone is ready for our relationship. We both seriously cant be normal with anyone else. But his parents are trying to convince him saying that this phase will be over soon.

Now God is my only hope. Wish atleast they can see his pain and get convinced.

Deepu04 · Sep 13, 2012

I heard that there is a Lord Venkateshwara temple near Hyd(chilkur Balaji temple.. Pls visit once there with good hopes.. Everything will be alright. Pls belive in God dear. Chilkur Balaji Temple - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Kiruthigamca · Sep 13, 2012

Thanks Deepu,

I will try to visit the temple as soon as possible. I went to rameshwaram, 6 temples in kumbakonam, kalyanraman temple in chennai. Everywhere its to clear to obstacle and to get married soon. Do you have any idea abt reading sundra kandam? Can anyone tell me the procedure to read it?

sbonigala · Sep 13, 2012

Hi OP,
I sincerely wish that you should get married to your love. But as a person, I felt the need to put forth my point.
Mine is love marriage too and its an inter religion wedding. I was a hindu and he a catholic. Obviously we had issues at home.

Now coming to your case,
Maybe you can talk to him and find out what is it that is stopping his parents in accepting you. If its the caste alone you may assure them that you would learn slowly and adapt to their style of doing things.
If its finances, then you both should take a call. Unless you know whats the real point for their rejection, you may not know where and how to proceed.
You loved him and you were able to convince your parents and are ready for wedding, Now its his duty to convince his parents or walk out of their home to get married to you. Its time that he should take a call , keeping in mind that people back home are looking for matches that suit you. When he is sure that they can never be convinced, he needs to stand up for what he wants.

But i have some questions here:

your bf is not able to convince his parents and is asking you to forget him.
He has decided to go with his parents' wishes. Somewhere i have a doubt - even if he is able to convince them now, will he be able to stand up for you incase you have any issues post wedding. What if he takes his parents' side again? Are you sure he will support you come what may.

Problems with Intercaste/religion/region marriages do no end with convincing parents, they begin there and last for years together.

Till now you 2 were only involved and hence things looked all rosy. Now that his parents are involved and he is not able to convince them and asked you to forget him!! Dont you think its unfair on his part.

I am not judging either of you, i am just asking you to think from all possible angles. Hope you take it in the right way. Good luck.

Kiruthigamca · Sep 13, 2012

Hi Shalu,

Thank you so much for your thoughts.

There are so many reasons for their denial. First and foremost, his elder brother did a love marriage that too the girl belong to their caste, but the marriage is not successful and his brother is also not happy with his life. So they basically dont believe in love marriage now. And to add up im a south indian and different caste. They keep on saying to him that marriage is between two families and they will not be able to communicate between my family. Whatever method he tried they stick to their opinion and finally they gave him choice to choose either me or them. But he is the only hope for them and his parents are dependent on him so he cant choose me. Neither i feel it to be a right decision to leave parents and get married.

To be very frank, i too have all the questions in my mind whether he will stand up for me later or not. But life without him is so miserable and i have the confidence in me that i can handle any hurdle if he is there in my life. Yeah its totally unfair on his part, he too accepts it but the reason are his parents are beyond us. Since they have seen his elder brother's life, they are not ready to take risk for him. It's now their belief versus our life.

velkavi · Sep 13, 2012

Its your BF's duty to make them understand..in this situation whoever is strong will win either his parents or him.he should be strong and we have to decide whats is important for us now.then go iwth it..

sbonigala · Sep 13, 2012

OP a few more points that crossed my mind after i read ur response to my post.

Request you to take them in right sense. Again am not judgung your bf, just want to help you analse things better.

does he not know that his parents are unhappy with his brother's married life..
He should have been aware that his parents are already hurt and chances that they would accept him getting married to his love, are less.
Maybe he thought he can convince his parents somehow, but again did he ever mention to you the pain his mom is going through with her elder DIL? And that you should be prepared to hear the worst.

Am extremely sorry but unless he takes a steady stand on what he needs and what he wants, i do not think your married life will be smooth.

You mentioned that his mom said this phase shall pass soon.. make sure that he is also not thinking like that.
In any case, you have done all that you could. Now its his time to act. Wait for a while, may be you can talk to your parents and ask them to give you sometime.. within which if your bf is ready to marry you.. its great, if not get mentally prepared to move on.

Remember, when you move on, have only one thing on mind.. you did what all you could do to save your love.. convinced your parents, given him some time, waited for him to come back . So there is nothing wrong at ur end, never ever regret your decision of moving ahead..

I know its easier to say, i can understand you, i had been there in your position a few years ago.. so i know how it feels when u r asked to go on with ur life leavng your love behind.. but believe me before you wait and weep endlessly, you need to ensure if he deserves all the pain and pressure that you have to undergo for him.

No point at the end of the day, if he wants you to change 360 degrees to impress his mum. We are seeing such cases all over these days.. please take a wise decision. good luck.

Kiruthigamca · Sep 13, 2012

Hi,

It's ok..I have been gone through this already. Whatever questions you got, i have already asked him. We were good friends for 3 years, even after falling in love with me he never revealed it to me since he had a doubt that whether they will accept or not. After 5 months or his struggle, he accepted and he was so confident that somehow he will convince them. But too many issues piled up at his home that things got more tough.

I gave him hope to try more. But dont know why fate is playing so hard on us. It has been two weeks since i talked to him. I really dont know how he is doing and it worries me. Is there any way to chat with you? Because i really need to talk to someone...