My fetus was detected with Down's Syndrome, so should I abort it?

+hinhello orpi,
sorry for knowing about your fetus,but its better to feel sorry now rather than cry throught your life.i know it will be very tough for u to take this decision,but have faith in god u can accept it as god decision.see orpi i dont have any medical knowldge,but here in gulf when u see parents with these kind of childrens u see pain and tears in their eyes.u r lucky enough to know your baby condition before it is born.take your own time,u r too young u can try again and since dr knows your medical history during second pregancy all care will be taken,dont think emotionally think mentally and be strong.might be i am wrong still wait for out other ilite friends to reply.all the best have faith in god,he will guide u right.

 

which test did you undergo? AFP can very well give you false positive. have you undergone amnio as well to confirm?
pls take all necessary tests into consideration before you plan to abort.

infact i never opted for these tests in the first place, but then every pregnancy is diff, still pls share what tests have you undertaken?

 

I'am sorry.My heart goes out to u.:HUGS

 

Orpi

My heart really goes out to you - it must be very painful for you to find out that your child has Down's Syndrome. I don't think anyone can answer the question of whether you should abort the foetus or not except you and your husband, since the two of you will have to bear the consequences of your decision.

In making a decision, you should inform yourself of the FACTS of this condition. It is genetic, and so is not an infection. As far as I know (and my knowledge is very limited), a positive amniocentesis is not usually a false positive. In other words, even though you have no family history of Down's Syndrome, you can trust the results of the test (barring some kind of error in the testing process at the lab, for example). Although it may be hard for you to believe, you should accept it in order to move on. Otherwise, go for a second opinion to another doctor and get another test done (keeping in mind that an amniocentesis is invasive and carries a risk of miscarriage).

As fas as abortions go, I'm not sure that having one abortion should hamper your ability to conceive and deliver another child. As long as the abortion is done under safe conditions by professionals, and you suffer no complications afterwards, there should be no negative physical repercussions. However, it seems you will be haunted emotionally and psychologically by taking this decision. Again, you need to think it through and decide if you can live with yourself if you did go ahead with the abortion. As each person is very different in this regard, only you will know your own capacity to deal with this. Please discuss it with your husband, and look deep within yourself too.

You can conceive again, and there is a chance the next baby will have Down's Syndrome too, but I don't know if you have an INCREASED chance because of the first baby. Ask your doctor these questions, because they are important. The most important thing, though, is to consider your family, your society, your community, and your own capacity (together with your husband, who already seems to have made up his mind) to accept, love and nurture this child. The abortion will be a momentary act with possible psychological repercussions for you and your husband, but deciding to keep the baby will mean a lifelong commitment to the child and his or her wellbeing. In my opinion, it is not enough to make a decision to bring this child into the world just because you want to avoid the trauma of abortion.

Please do some research into what exactly it takes to be the parent of a child with Down's Syndrome, and go from there. The best tool you have in your decision-making process right now is information. Share these FACTS, as well as your thoughts and feelings with your husband, and listen to what he has to say as well. Your decision will be an emotional one at some level, but please do not overlook the realities of this situation as well.

I am aware of families who have children with Down's Syndrome and have gone on to live happy lives. However, this would depend on the kind of support system you have. I don't know what kind of family or community you're dealing with, so think about that too. You have my best wishes in going forward with whatever decision you make, and I think it will be for the best, as long as it is a decision that you and your husband come to together.

 

hi orpi,
i am sorry to know about your fetus.but please think as to how much of ordeal u and ur hubby have to undergo if this child is born.i have seen families with such kids and life is very very tough.if you have normal children after this child,they will be subjected continuous trauma of having a special sibling.in my opinion,yes, its very hard for u to come to terms,but please think ahead...you are young...you can have manymore normal kids.the decision is upto you, but if you ask me,its best to bear this guilt rather than go through the pain all ur life....

Deepa.

 

my friend ansuya has very well said it all, and i cld only repeat her here. positive amnio would possibly mean your bub could have a good chance of bearing the disorder.had it been only AFP we could hv asked you to do an amnio as well n have some positive vibes about the outcome... but.. well

i dont know what would i or anyone here could have done, so theres no way i could even suggest you something. the trauma that you are going through, i can understand,but my dear friend the best possible judge here can only be you and your hub.
i would keep you in my prayers, and i m sure godwilling you will hv a healthy LO soon

lots of hugs n healthy baby dust

 

Very well said Ansuya...

Orpi.. please sit with your husband and talk to him. Read through Ansuya's post very carefully and think. It's a very hard and also an important decision, my dear friend. I have no other words to say. Be strong and I pray God be there to guide you.