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Short tempered mom

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by chs30, May 17, 2015.

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  1. May 17, 2015 #1
    chs30

    chs30 New IL'ite

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    Hi ladies,

    I m in 17th week of pregnancy. My mother is staying with me. She has very bad temper since my childhood. She used to take out her anger by beating us badly since childhood. If we say something opposite to her she would even threaten us with a sari tieing one side to fan and one side to her neck. We would literally beg her to not to do that. This happened a lot of times in the past. I am working women. I avoid talking to her most of the times as it is giving me tension as she has so much negative to talk. This is my first pregnancy after a miscarriage. I am too tensed and anxious when I m alone. I m trying to distract myself by watching movies in iPad which she does not like. I told her I m too nervous that's why I m watching iPad during weekends. She does not understand and says u have everything extra which is y u r feeling nervous, etc etc. Today again it started. I was feeling anxious since morning. I wanted to go to movie outside to which she says no. Fighting got bigger and she went into the room and locked the door. Me and my sister shouted a lot to open the door. She opened the door with one side sari around her neck and one side to the fan. We know this is to threaten us again. I shouted at her my lungs out and cried badly for 1 hr. Will this hurt by baby? I want this baby so badly. I don't want this to effect my baby. Please tell me.
     
    chs30, May 17, 2015
    chs30, May 17, 2015
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  2. May 17, 2015 #2
    hope2b

    hope2b Silver IL'ite

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    For now your baby is fine but please get rid of this situation. You need peace. Such repeated scenarios at this stage is not healthy. Can you stay somewhere else? Or try to be busy with reading books and hooking up with friends. Or call relatives or neighbors. Magnify this behavior next time. So other people can get some sense in your mom.
     
    hope2b, May 17, 2015
    hope2b, May 17, 2015
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  3. May 17, 2015 #3
    chs30

    chs30 New IL'ite

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    It has been stressful since she has come. If I say so, she would react badly. I tried to talk her as less as possible by reading books watching movies which again is problem to her. She says watching movies is cause for my nervousness. Any bull**** reason she gives just to prove I am doing wrong. She does not understand I am doing this to distract my mind. She says we all had babies we never had these feelings. I called my father to take her home. He knows how she reacts to situations and says wait for sometime.
     
    chs30, May 17, 2015
    chs30, May 17, 2015
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  4. May 17, 2015 #4
    VandhenaKrish

    VandhenaKrish Silver IL'ite

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    Hey dear ,

    Do not worry . I am even on my 12th week of pregnancy and at times getting lot of negative thoughts . Listen to nice songs , slokas and read books . Go for a walk and as an other friend said , stay away from ur mom for some period . Good luck and take care
     
    VandhenaKrish, May 17, 2015
    VandhenaKrish, May 17, 2015
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  5. May 17, 2015 #5
    chs30

    chs30 New IL'ite

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    Thanq Krish. I always have something or the other worries throughout this pregnancy. Sometimes I feel I can not do this. I am trying to distract as much as possible. Coming to office is the only relaxation for me.
     
    chs30, May 17, 2015
    chs30, May 17, 2015
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  6. May 17, 2015 #6
    radhaparth2000

    radhaparth2000 Platinum IL'ite

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    Are you having any health issues? Do you need her help badly? If not, please push your father to take her back home. She may get upset or behave negatively but this one time activity is much better than everyday drama. Sorry if I am being blunt but healthy mother, healthy baby. You need peace of mind which is vital now and rest all next.

    On a different note, postpartum is all the more stressful. In case your mom is going to help you post delivery such scenarios will affect your health and pregnancy recovery may take longer.

    Sorry if I am blunt but at this juncture nothing is important than you and your baby
     
    radhaparth2000, May 17, 2015
    radhaparth2000, May 17, 2015
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  7. May 17, 2015 #7
    chs30

    chs30 New IL'ite

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    i dont have health issues. i already told my dad to take her home. hez thinking what will my inlaws think if suddenly she leaves me. i told him its better to leave than spoiling my health. hez coming tomorrow to take her. i know its stressful to b with her post delivery. all i m worried now is if i hurt the baby. praying god for everything to be fine.
     
    chs30, May 17, 2015
    chs30, May 17, 2015
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  8. May 17, 2015 #8
    JGVR

    JGVR Gold IL'ite

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    when you feel anxious,give your mom reason like you are going to sleep and then shut the door.do whatever makes you feel relaxed within your room.if she comes up with some opinion just ignore and dont answer
     
    JGVR, May 17, 2015
    JGVR, May 17, 2015
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  9. May 17, 2015 #9
    tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Babies are far more durable than many people realize. Born in war zones, famines, etc. Did you see the news of that Nepali woman who dug herself out the rubbles and then delivered her healthy baby shortly after that. Granted none of this is optimal, but just want you to stop worrying unnecessarily.

    Your mother has been playing these tricks on you and your sister but I feel lot of this is your emotions getting the better of you mixed with her brainwashing. OK, so if she wanted to kill herself wouldn't she have had opportunity beforehand? And would a ceiling fan really support the full weight of a woman? Or does she have her hand on the switch for some added drama? You should just walk away when she pulls this. If she gets no reaction she will stop doing it.

    Your mother needs mental health counselling.
     
    tashidelek2002, May 17, 2015
    tashidelek2002, May 17, 2015
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  10. May 17, 2015 #10
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Please send her back immediately. You don't such abusive people around you or your baby.

    Make sure she does not come for your delivery. ASk in laws or get other help.Even no help is better than your nightmare mother.
     
    yellowmango, May 17, 2015
    yellowmango, May 17, 2015
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    3 people like this.
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