I am worried and scared

swarnalata.N.S. · May 2, 2011

Dear All

Last saturday, I went for a check up and got a big shock. Doctor says I am pregnant. My husband and I never plan for this one. We have one son, now 12 years and we never wanted another one and we were always careful. But this accidently happened.

Now I am scared and very troubled. I am 36 years old. I dont know if there will be problems in pregnancy and delivery. and husband ( 41 years) is also worrying we will be very old when this child is still becoming a major and settled in life. And there's such a big gap between my son and this one. Big age difference. I don't even know how he will feel . not told him still.

Its only 3 weeks now and we can get abortion some friends are saying. But no, I don't like that idea of killing . But i cannot sleep in peace. I'm so upset and frightened and stress.

If any of you all had babies after 35 or 40, please tell me if it i s difficult and problem for the baby ? And if any of you all having 2 children with big age difference, please tell me if there will be adjustment problems between them?

I am really so worried about everything. I wish this was not happened at all.

nupur12 · May 2, 2011

There is no need to be worried about this I think you have to consult to the doctor do a proper checkup and as you told that there will be much difference between your previous child and this baby, So I don't think so that this should be main issue for you.So I think You have to go to the doctor and if doctor will suggest you that your health is ready for a baby Then according to my point of view you have to be ready about this.

pawarju · May 2, 2011

Congrates Dear.
Well I can understand you well.I delievered at 38. no difficulties ...
Well my elder son ( 8 years) was depressed and upset because we take care of the little one. Slowly we make him to do things for baby and later he became attached to him,now they are inseperable. My elder son gives and shares everything to his younger brother.
So it is in your hands to make the kids understand and become attached to eachother.
So don;t worry. First understand, all these past 12 years the elder one got your full attention and love to himself, so it is difficult for him to share with a small baby. But make him do things for the baby, then they will be attached to each other.
All the best. You are not old dear. So be happy and have a safe delivery.

kAlyaniShAnti · May 2, 2011

Dear Swarnalata,

Be cheerful for this good news. Many of my friends are becoming parents (for the second baby) in late 30s. So no worry, if you do not have any physical complicaiton. And also, many become Moms at late 30 these days. There is enough time for you two to take of the baby before it matures in life.

No Worry, Be happy.

Only thing is your Son should be able to accept the new arrival happily. Take care of that part.

God bless

babycorn · May 3, 2011

Hi,

I totally understand your concern.Iam also happy to know that You want to bring teh child to this world.Dont feel shy to tell your first son.He is matured enough to understand things.reg the age,many IVF pregnancies are happening only around 35.There is a recent news about couples who are 60 yrs old got their first child through IVF.dont worry.

swarnalata.N.S. · May 3, 2011

Dear Nupur , pawarju , kalyanishanthi , chotumeetu,

Thank you all very very much for all your kind words and support. I feel better now after your friendly and caring words. I think it was the shock of hearing the unexpected news which made me so nervous. I am glad I shared it here with you ladies.

Yes, we read in papers about old women ( 55, 60 ) also delivering healthy babies. I was only not in that frame of mind, like i can become mother after so long, at this stage in life when babies is not even in your mind and thinking it is all closed chapter .

We are waiting for the arrival of my mother-in-law and I want her only to give the news to my son. He is very much attach to her and she is also very kind and loving and knows how to give any news to growing children.

Thank you once again , friends , for your kind FBs.