Feeling angry, irrated and short tempered, 10 months after pregnancy

Minkis · Oct 13, 2014

Hi ladies,

Every since I had the baby, I have noticed I did get very angry every so often at the baby (every 15 days or so) when she would cry a lot, wouldn't sleep etc.., but it was manageable, I would try to calm myself down. Would feel terribly guilty about it. I assumed it was because I was tired and lack of sleep. Now at 10 months, she sleeps throughout the night, but my anger / rage is increasing about small things (not at the baby), just general household things.

These past 3 days, I have been getting angry at my husband for small things, this is very surprising for both us....I am a very calm quite person and anger only arises under extreme circumstances. I have started to blame my baby for turning me into this different person.

I am going to India next week and have yet to have my periods (which are due anytime soon). My husband thinks I am just under a lot of stress due to the trip/periods and I recently (last month), had a miscarriage...so maybe hormones are out of whack.

What do you ladies think, how should I calm myself?? I think I should talk to a Dr., my husband thinks I can handle it and should try exercising, meditating and maybe the india trip will help...as I will have family support.

Any suggestions, anyone else went through this. I hate to see myself like this and feel like crying sometimes...will I ever be back to my normal self.

Minki

devanshi · Oct 14, 2014

Dear Minki,

Being a Mom is a tough job and like they say, good moms worry about being good moms - so please dont feel guilty! Many mothers go through a form of post partum depressions following childbirth, and it seems to me that you are facing something similar. Your anger and irritability is all hormone related and believe me it will pass. However if you feel just too depressed and angry, you may take help of some medication and see a Doctor.

Please try and be strong, know that this is temporary and it will pass. Do things you enjoy. Take more rest and eat properly. Its not tje time to diet, infact eat whatever food you love. When you feel stronger emotionally then start with any dieting. Right now eat really well. And share - share share share your thoughts and feelings. Vent out. Cry if you must. But then let the mood pass. Dont dwell on it. Please check if you have severe post partum depression - Ask yourself if you feel any of the below symptoms, if yes please visit your Dr.
.

Feel very low, or despondent, that life is a long, grey tunnel, and that there is no hope. Feel tired and very lethargic, or even quite numb. Not want to do anything or take an interest in the outside world.

Feel a sense of inadequacy or unable to cope.

Feel guilty about not coping, or about not loving their baby enough.

Be unusually irritable, which makes their guilt worse.

Want to cry/cry a lot or even constantly.

Have obsessive and irrational thoughts which can be very scary.

Lose their appetite, which may go with feeling hungry all the time, but being unable to eat.

Have difficulty sleeping: either not getting to sleep, waking early, or having vivid nightmares.

Be hostile or indifferent to their partner and/or baby.

Have panic attacks, which strike at any time, causing rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms and feelings of sickness or faintness.

Have an overpowering anxiety, often about things that wouldn't normally bother them, such as being alone in the house.

Have difficulty in concentrating or making decisions.

Experience physical symptoms, such as headaches.

AHave obsessive fears about the baby's health or wellbeing, or about themselves and other members of the family.

Have disturbing thoughts about harming themselves or their baby.

Have thoughts about death.

JustLikeYou · Oct 14, 2014

Dear OP,

I am sure you are stressed out and miscarriage within the 10 months of delivery will have a huge impact.

Please go talk to your doctor. If possible cancel your India trip and take rest or if you go to India give your child to your parents or ILs and you just rest and relax.

Minkis · Oct 14, 2014

Hi, thanks so much for these kind words. I am sleeping well and eating well too, though I have lost weight after the miscarriage (I am 5 pounds less, then before pregnancy). Yes, I think I will give my baby to my ILs and mother, will definitely get some rest and will increase food intake.

From the symptoms above, I have mild versions of 2-3 of them which just started a month ago, I thought post partum depression happens within first 4 months of pregnancy, cant it happen much later at 10 months?

I am so happy to hear it will go away. When I go to India, I will definitely try to take the support of people around me.

thanks,
Minki

Minkis · Oct 14, 2014

About cancelling my India trip, I wish that were possible. I was supposed to for 6 weeks, then my in laws thought they wouldn't be able to spend time with the baby, so it got extended 2 more weeks, which I wasn't too happy about...being away for 2 months from home.

My husband thinks I should try to sacrifice my own happiness just this once for my daughter, so she can meet the grandparents. We have decided next time I wont be going to India for more than a month. This time I will be going alone for first 4 weeks, then my husband will join for rest of 3 weeks.

Anyway, I will try to have fun and relax,
thanks everyone,
minki

beingmommy · Oct 31, 2014

Depression kind of symptoms does occur even after a miscarriage. Its bcoz the pregnancy related hormones enters our body the day we are conceived and it takes a while to withdraw. The hormones withdrawal has an effect on us and it usually results in irritation, weakness and mood swings. And miscarriage has more effect as there will be psychological impact. So relax and this has nothing to do with ur first baby and one more important thing. As a person you are the same, ur personality has not changed with ur baby, so stop blaming her and ur self. Give urself some time to cope up with things. Everything gonna be ok. Even for hormone related mood swings also good medication is there, do visit a good gynaecologist when u come to India. I've gone through all the things u were descrbing during both of my miscarriages and trust me I became normal later on.