She is Depressed!

I would say just leave about your mom and concentrate on searching matches.. Try maintaining cordial relation ship with your mom so that she does not create any issues during marriage time.

 

IMO, you should concentrate on your job search and groom search. If you have to listen to your friend or mom, just hear then out, don't get effected by their words or actions.
Have faith in yourself and everything will fall in place...

 

Unfortunately depression and mental illnesses are still seen as something shameful and tried to keep hidden instead of dealing openly and proactively with.
You went through some big lifestyle changes and could perhaps benefit from talking with a professional about adjusting to your new life, demons from the past, whatever.
The question is do you want to do that and that is something only you can answer. Therapy isn't an endless thing, usually you and your therapist sit together and determine what you want to accomplish in the duration of that therapy.
The question weather or not you are depressed, again no one here can answer it. Everyone feels down once in a while but clinical depression has a severe impact on quality of life and makes everything seem harder. Some people have a chemical imbalance and some people need to work through their issues. Finding a good therapist that is the right one for you , may not be easy but there is no point in undergoing therapy if something about it feels off to you.
It looks like you have a lot on your plate but you need figure out what you want and how to accomplish it .

 

I think you should stop worrying about your mother and friend for the time being. Keep searching for a good job and concentrate on settling. Be normal with your mother and regarding your friend, when she only wants to discuss about her problems then is she really your friend? I also used to have a friend, who used to call me only when she was having any issue. My DH observed this and said, when your friend is not calling you, just think that she's absolutely fine. I got his point and stopped encouraging her that much. Slowly she also got the point and now completely stopped talking to me. Well whatever it is, she might be happy in her own world and i am happy in mine. So stop thinking that much about your friend and concentrate on your life. It's very sad when your own parents behave like that with you, but when they themselves show you clearly how much they do not like you, then its better to leave them on their own terms. I know its painful, but there isn't anything you could do much. just let it be.

 

OP,
You are not making big deal. You feelings are very valid and real. Plz take a grip on your life and start living by some rules for yourself, by yourself. I suggest a few:
1- your friend was wrong in venting to you. She could have come online and typed a few words. But she chose you, and she was wrong. Please cut off from this friend. It might not be possible in first go, but try again till you cut off. From then on, please make hi bye -superficial friends, for few years. And never in your life go back to your old way of friendship.
2- Your mom is being mean and not being fair. But then life is not fair! so make boundaries and create a new kind of, more formal realtionship with her. I was going to say, leave the house; but don't do that just yet because you cannot fight at all fronts at once. Be at your mother's house, you have a room, right? stay in there, and do your job search. You need a shelter/ shield from outside, for now this house is yours.
3- with your experience, you should be able to get job.
4- give up the idea of bonding with anyone at home
5- join some class, if you can spare money and time- like hobby classes, or gym classes
6- make goals for yourself- 1 yr, 5 yr, 10 yr and rules like: i will not get attached; i will not take phone calls after 8 pm, i will not talk to anyone more that 5 min, etc
and start living by these rules
7- You will find someone nice, just keep your options open

I feel you were more into venting and not seeking solutions, but still I started giving solutions, I hope you feel better and find some peace within yourself.

 

OP,
I am sorry about your friend, cannot fathom god can be so cruel or if you call that fate.

I don't think you are depressed, but you are just lost and disoriented. Leave aside, making it on my own, my mother hates me stuff. Just look at things that are important at this point,
1. finding a partner (if you have still looking)
2. Find a job that you love
3. Health (Physical and Emotional, start gym)

Just work on these core issues and get those things fixed, rest should be bearable or can be easily handled but you should know never everything is fixed, but it can be improvised to a point where you start loving it.

People often are not capable of loving another human being due to their own limitations, you need to teach them to love, your mother, I'm sure is one such case. Don't hate your sister, nor mother, just forgive them. drop by your place on a surprise visit, cook for them , no matter what they say just smile and wish them good, give them unconditional love... if you understand, it is your mother who needs help. if you know to seek out here, you know to correct it too. just hang in there....

Lastly, reduce long phone conversations, arguments, concentrate and be busy in achieving your set goals. listen to music, watch lighthearted movies, meditate.

"being always buys in working towards something you really want makes you feel confident in life" ...you have my good wishes.all the best.

 

op, in my opinion the only thing you did wrong in the two cases narrated is to not value yourself, your instinctive reactions and your time in the interactions you described. Be a friend but if the negativity is getting to you dont suppress it forcefully and try to be there for the other person. Just cut it off or set the terms you will accept the interaction clearly. Think of yourself. The others are thinking of themselves only. So look out for yourself. This is how ppl are. they only think of themselves, their issues and their problems --mom worried about retirement and friend worried about several major life crises -- and sometimes if you are there for them too much or all the time they assume it is because there is something wrong with you or you haven nothing better to do. You are not your mom or your friend but they have both taught you a good lesson. Not that you needed it but what you did is often a mistake that many self reliant people make. Value yourself more, talk about yourself more and place a premium on your listening ear and your time. Next time, Pick better friends who are like you self reliant and can help/inspire you in your down times.