Please some one can show me right way........need help

Geet38 · Jan 7, 2013

I am 38 years old woman, have 2 kids 11 and 6. I was came here in 2004. then 2008 my husband send us back to india, again come back in 2011.
My husband had sleep disorder thats why he can not hold his job too longer, so that he was always frusted and engary, he don,t belive in God, mother,father, brother, sister, me and kids. I was in H4 and educated in hindi midium, so I can not finencialy drive my relation, I was try like catering from home, but he was feeling embresing to husband, so that he send back to us.
Now i was came here in 2011, after long break he was not interested in me, he was chating with other girls, and keep me totally ignore, he keep lock my kids passport and visa , he not share me car, he not give me single penny. expecting this also I start day care at home,then he againg that he need share from my pay, because I am using apartment, light and food for my business, so I had pay $200/m.
Then after few month his projct was other ther then we move to chicago.
Here he stricly told me that, you can not do day care at home, and I can not go outside without car. So I did QA online course and start surching job.
Now his job is over and he is at home, and not allow me to search a job, he lock computer.
Please show my right way so that I keep away my kids.
I apolozige about my english.
Thanks.

Megalife · Jan 7, 2013

Hi geet
You situation is unfortunate and you dh a big time loser ! Now that he is out of work, restarting the day care might make you sort out your finances. I am not too sure how the law works in the states....do u need a licence to start a day care at home and/ or a catering? Since he is frustrated, and incomeless he might be partially ok with it . Also, at least he can be sure that the utility bills are paid!
If he is still an adamant fool, the next sane thing would be to go back home....how will you survive in a foreign land....with two kids...no financial support?.....lets wait for other US ladies to pour in their views. Maybe somebody has something more constructive to suggest!
Mega

Rihana · Jan 7, 2013

Geet,

Sorry to read about your situation. If you can share some more info, some responses might pour in:

1. What is your and your husband's immigration status now? Green card?

2. How did you like the 3 years you spent in India? Were you happier there? Do you think it would help for you to go back with kids?

3. If you decide to live separately in the U.S., can you support yourself with a daycare?

Be careful with the daycare - if it is not a licensed one, and any parent complains, it will lead to unnecessary problems.

Tell us a little bit more... and don't worry about your English, it is fine.

This thread needs to be moved to the Married Life section.

cuteguy · Jan 7, 2013

It is male responsibility to put food on table for wife and kids. He was working before and he understands savings will run out. He will start new job soon.

justanothergirl · Jan 8, 2013

Dear Geet
Where are u living right now(Austin ,TX)...Do u have access to phone?

then he againg shouting and hitting me that he need share from my pay,
Click to expand...

Is this hitting a pattern in ur marriage...Any marks?
How about the kids ?Are they going to school? Does he hit them too?
Do u have any access to a camera phone or web cam which can take pictures. \Next time he hits take pictures and store them safely.

Day care without license is illegal and risky. Dont venture in that direction. Any parental support?
Dont worry about english..type when u can what ever u can...and tell us more about urself and the situation u are in.Hopefully one of us has some insight into how to solve ur issue.

sashacurios · Jan 8, 2013

i would suggest you to go back to india and try take a business there(the same you tried doing in US like catering and daycare) maybe for 1 or 2 years... and you can visit US in between so you can keep in touch and also he might start missing you when you leave for india... if you work back in india you can build you self esteem by engaging your self in useful work, making some money and maybe attend some courses... and later come back and join him if you feel ok... its not a good idea to continue there in such a situation... think about it!

justanothergirl · Jan 8, 2013

Ladies...OP is a virtual hostage. Going to India may not be an option considering the cost of tickets and also this.

he keep lock everything, expecting my kids passport and visa also, h
Click to expand...

soulful · Jan 8, 2013

contact your parents and in laws. get them involved. get them to convince your hubby to send you and kids back to India.

If he is on h1, he cannot be jobless for too long and he might have to go back too.

be financially independent once you are back home

Once in India, try talking with hubby, involve family members. talk about his health issues AND the fact that he speaks to strange women.

you may need counselling.

Do not get into this day care business without appropriate licence. that is inviting more trouble.

Geet38 · Jan 8, 2013

He Is at home, I can't do day care at home, no body is help me, because I am at home so I am doing whole day cooking. and when he is on the call its very hard to hold kids outside the apartment any time. Without support its very uncomfortable. I am fearing about it.
But I did my best with me kids was happy and there parent also.