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Growing I had a domineering mother with constant mood swings and a weak, whipped father. I grew up relatively estranged from family and my mother was effectively the only female influence growing up - no sisters, no grandma, no aunts, no female cousins.
I was an immigrant kid in the West reared in a very conservative, culturally alien upbringing. My mother's basic philosophy was "don't talk to girls". She told me if I ever came home and told her I liked a girl she'd cut my tongue off. And when you grow up pretty terrified of your mother that sort of thing really gets to your heart.
I think my fear of my mother extended towards all women in general. I was shy and precocious around people I didn't know. I don't think I ever intiated a conversation with a girl all through grade school, middle school, and most of high school - unless it was to borrow a pen or something. So the lack of female exposure during my prime socializing years really set me back.
My mom pushed me hard academically. I was always one of the top kids in school, and I was fiercely competitive, always wanting to come out with the highest grades - to the detriment of everything else. But I wasn't a total nerd. And I had a decent set of a dozen or so friends and a couple of close ones (all guys). Many came from a similar cultural upbringing and none of these guys had gfs either. I was teased a bit for being on the shirt/skinny side, but nothing overtly cruel like a John Hughes movie. I had the respect of my peers for my academic smarts.
Unfortunately, I grew up in a working-class neighbourhood. My mom was afraid of me mixing with the wrong crowd so she forbid me from socializing with peers outside of school. So there were no going out to the movies, no dances, no proms, no hanging out at Mike's etc. So my daily routine was pretty much go to school, come home, listen to talk radio, do homework, read a book, go on MSN or AOL chat, rinse, repeat. I was relatively content with this lifestyle as an introvert.
I was also extremely skinny up to about 2 years ago. I'd have relatives contantly comment on my skinniness. Far from coming to my defence as most good mothers would do my domineering mother would always accuse me of never eating (although looking back she never really fed me properly). This really crippled my self-esteem as an emotionally fragile teenager with image issues. Basically grew up thinking I was ugly.
It wasn't until I around 24 that things started to turn around. I got a new job, moved out, lifted weights, gained 30 lbs, read PUA and Roissy, reached a zen-level understanding of female ev-psych and social dynamics, approached girls online and off, lost my virginity, and scored some pussy.
And at this point I've stopped paying attention to my mother. When she'd go off on hysterical tirades, I'd sit calmly and tune her out. And no longer do I submit to her ****. Ya, I'd gamed my mother.
My mother has recently tried to push me into an arranged marriage some fat, ugly girls that no guy wants. I explicitly said "NO". She asks "why not?" I simply repeated "NO. This conversation is over." No arguing, no rationalizing. I never discuss my girl-related liasons - why bother with someone who simply won't understand? My mother might even think I'm gay but I don't care. If she only knew about the pussy I've tagged she might be horrified but what mama don't know won't hurt her.
She's even asked if I had a girlfriend. I said no. At one time she even "there's all these other guys in our community going on about gf this and gf that, what's the matter with you?" I was thinking to myself "wow you raised me all my life to avoid girls, threatened to cut my tongue off if I ever confessed to liking one, and now you're upset with me for NOT having a gf? and all because it's suddenly become socially acceptable to have a gf in our community?!?! WTF???"
I felt robbed of my adolescence. If I'd been weaker I would've broke down and cried.
I still resent my parents - my mother for being so domineering, and my father for being so weak-willed as he was also subject to a lot of verbal abuse. And I hate myself for being a pussy also - for not standing for myself and accepting a subpar fate.
Looking back I realize I was a relatively smart, normal kid with decent social skills who grew up in a poor social environment. I wouldn't wish my upbringing on anyone.
Yet somehow I've managed to turn it around.