Problems with relationship with parents, brother and sister-in-law

I second what flowerlady said. Visit your parents house when they invite you. Your brother is right in supporting his wife. If you want to be treated as equal when compared to your brother, have your parents stay at your place half the time or share their financial responsibilities.

For others to respect us, we need to maintain a cordial distance. If you visit once or twice a month, your SIL might be a good host. If you want to get together with your parents frequently, arrange to meet at your place by having your parents visit you. Arrange for their transportation or have them visit you for a few days at a stretch.

 

I think all your family members are so good. Your SIL is adjusting with her life living in JFs, welcoming your family twice in week, forgoing her own freedom, your parents adjusting with DIL to keep peace at home, your bro balancing his wife and parents life. So good. You too have to adjust in this situation. I dont mean you should take all crap or tantrums passed by SIL. Just stay away from her.

As said by everyone no lady would like to be in JFs. SIL might also have her own plans which is disturbed by you. So cut down your visit to your parents palce. It is good for you also. Dont you think if you sit at your home and spend time with your DH and LO. Also, make your own trips outside explore the new places.

Try to re-structure your relationship with your SIL-

-Visit your parents once in 2-3weeks and before that just ask if they have their own plans which is basic discipline.

-Invite them to your place, if SIL doesnt want atleast your parents can come to spend a day or two.

-Plan family outing for day to resort (if SIL is comfortable) where you pepole can play around, have fun and forget all those things.

With all those points you feel to be outsider to your own parents but your parents are dependent on them. And there is SIL who is the FIRST LADY of that house now. You have to see her side also.

 

hi,

like all others posted here, i would also suggest that you would limit your visit to ur parents house.

there is one thing i might like to add here... parents may be the best of best parents but when they become inlaws specially to a DIL, cant say their behaviour wont change. parents might not like the way how their DIL and their son are living.

when parents are possessive about their son and want to live them him afterwards, they tend to treat their DIL as a threat. an outsider..

being a DIL myself i have experienced myself how my inlaws being very good to their daughter and how bad they treat me.. they behave like they are soo good ppl and make me feel so bad.. cant really type down everything here, but sometimes distance really makes a difference!

may be if ur brother could move out of ur parents house, things could be a little better... just a suggestion..