General Parenting tips

Hi Ladies,

As i m a young mother I need some advice from you in parenting.I m a working mother and I m not so matured.And also I didnt get a chance to interact with a kid after my brother.
My in-laws only taking care of my kid.As they are very old i cant expect so much from them.They wont take him away.Near to my house so many kids are there.All are among 1-2 years old.But my in-laws wont like neighbours to interact with them.
They are satisfied by sitting alone.As he is in home always he wants everything what we are using.Sometimes we cant tolerate.I know that is not his fault.
If I leave home @ 8 means I ll come back @ 7.30 only.So I cant take him outside.Suggest me some ideas to make him to interact with same age kids.Shall I make him to watch toon channels..?
And he is eating normal food only Nothing extra.If we tried some new things means, after eating his stomach got upset..And My in-laws wont take extra effort to feed new things.As they used to feed idli with curd or sugar or banana he is refusing to take spicy items.How to practice him..?
How to introduce new eating habits...?
Even he is 19 months old he has not yet started to speak.But he can understand everything.When we asked doctor he told to take him to a play school..If he interacts with kids only he will start speak.
At this stage what are all the things need to be taken,..?In what area i should concentrate most?
Give me some suggestions please.
Thanks in advance.

..Nirmal..

Firstly,Please do not call yourself 'not matured'. We all have our own levels of intelligence and no one mother in the world is perfect. Anyway, you said your kid is 19 months. At this age toddlers are exploring the things around them and for him everything is new so encourage his curiosity. In order to do that I think the doctor is right. Your child needs social interaction. Daily interaction with kids around his age. He will not only learn speaking but also learn values like sharing,waiting for his turn, following little instructions,walking in a line , throwing garbage in the bin and not anywhere he wishes etc. So as you see these can be learned if he is in a group. You can teach these at home too but as you said you are not at home always with him and your Inlaws are also old to have patience to teach him these stuff. As for the food I think you can instruct your inlaws to try new things with him. May be you can cook for the child the things you might want him to try and your inlaws may try giving him. But dont worry about that. As long as he is healthy he is fine. Toddlers this age are specially picky eaters. He will try new things once a little older.

Try putting him in a playschool nearby for a couple of hours everyday or alternate days whatever works for you. I advise you not to put him for the whole day as that will tire him out and anyways your inlaws are at home too to look after him. A couple or months after playschool you will be amazed at what all your child has learned. Kids are like little sponges. They absorb everything and anything so quick.

Adara

Hi Nirmal, I can offer advice on one aspect - my nephew didn't speak in more than one or two word sentences but understood everything until he was about 1.5-2 years. Mainly because we understood what he was trying to say, I think, he didn't make the effort to speak in full sentences. Once my sister sent him to playschool, the words came tumbling out. Good luck!

Nirmal,

I would second the doctor's advice. Your kid needs someone to play and interact with. If they are of his age, all the more better. While he is playing with other kids, he needs someone to guide him, so that he knows whats good for him, what are the basic things he needs to follow, etc. He gets such kind of environment in a playschool. Be very careful and do lots of research while choosing a playschool for him. The same daily routine would lead to boredom and that might be the reason he is asking for your things. A new environment which would keep him occupied.

My daughter learnt a lot of things when she went to the playschool. She used to enjoy the time spent there. The moment i go to pick her up, she used to tell me lots of things about the playschool and what she has done there. The teachers there are also very good. They used to mingle with the kids and play with them.

I think your kid needs such an environment.

-Lakshmi

Hi,
Gotta agree with Adara. No mother has answer to all questions. Children learn socialisation from their parents and care providers. So if your in-laws are reserved your child may also be reserved, but sending to play school does not help really. Dear son is a shyster, as are his parents. At school, the teachers said constantly he did not want to mingle. Then I started making an effort in talking to people and gently nudging him to introduce himself. He is getting better at it everyday because he sees me making an effort. Also about food, children do have a very evolved taste bud and can easily make out tastes. Some spices are too strong for them. Like cinnamon, a lot of children I know cant have it at all. At this stage, it is better to just give him mildly spiced food with just jeera and ajwain. I would say introduce chilly/pepper in the 3 nd year.
About wanting everything you are using, that is exploration. How does that thing mommy has in her hand works, who is she talking to, will it make a nice noise if I bang it on the floor (my much abused cellphone will tell you tales). Show him how to touch things gently, give him what you are using as long as he is using it gently, if it is too precious, get a cheap knock out for him. My son makes imaginary phone calls to his grand parents from Rs 50 phone now (My cellphone sends its thanks )
Re talking, a child that age should be able to communicate with his care givers whichever way he prefers. That is the only rule. Mine started talking only at 2 years and today, it is nonstop in two languages. If you do want to help him along, I would suggest using flash cards: these are cards with pictures on one side and words written on the other. You can show the child the picture and ask him to guess what it is and explain what colour it is, what it does, etc. That worked well for us.

Thank you adara and Lakshmi..

Play school is a nice idea. But I think to engage him after 2 years.I can introduce new food items in the weekend so that my MIL can follow in the weekend.She also agreed with this.

Tikka,
In home also he is learning new things.But in play school while interacting with other kids he wont feel boredom.I m spending my time @ night with him.But at that time as his father is sitting with lap-top(for him lap-top is the first wife)my son used to disturb him.I m not able to avoid this situation.Someone will advice my DH in this situation..

Thank you so much for your valuable time friends..

..Nirmal..