What is good for child?...To be the only one...or to have someone growing along??

I would say 2 children... rather that one.

I have 2 siblings ..growing up was so much fun when you have bro/sis .. we were like frnd and share everything ... yes we used to fight and drive each other crazy, but have so much fun as well.

just saw the post and though will share some of my thoughts, i'm a mom of a single child. my son is 6 years old and me and my dh thinks we will stop with him,
i have an older sis and till today we do not have any so called special bonding as sisters, it is more of a duty, that we do things. even my dh has a younger sis who shows no signs of affection, although my dh is a type of guy who is very emotional and loving by nature.

we feel, when we survive without any sibling love or comfort, even our son can when he grows up, we pray that he gets a great girl as his wife, because that relationship will be important more than any other (that is the world truth), and just because he is our only kid we don't pamper him, we encourage him all the time at the same time put a stop when he has to be corrected.
i have enrolled my son in swimming lessons and so far he is doing great, he is already in level 6, he is also good in math and reading, he is an amazing and loving kid, he hugs and tells us that he loves us all the time, i don't think any sibling is going to bring out any other quality in him, we encourage him to share stuff and be nice with other kids, infact when we meet our friends little ones, he takes care of them as his own,

And after reading all the encouraging posts i have come to a conclusion that we have made a right decision,

thanks again,
radha

I agree with Radha. Even my brother had been more of a pain than support, while growing up and even after growing up. My parents used to say he is a boy and he is entitled to such treatment . At such times i used to think why was i not a single child.

Even among my friends, more often than not, it is the friends or cousins who rush to help them than siblings. So having a sibling doesnt necessarily mean that they will be at the best of the terms.

-Lakshmi

hi nikita!
i entered this thread with the same dilemma of whether to have second kid or not.
having had a stillborn first baby at eight months,after going thro so much turmoil n uncertainities,we were so living on the edge thro' out second pregnancy,till our sweetest daughter arrived and life took a beautiful turn.she soaked our lives in happiness n erased all bad memories.she is everything i ever hoped and dreamed of.
but during all this even tho i was doing a job,there was no advances in my career.now when she is 1 n half yr,my dilemma has started.i feel i am exhausted after last 3 n half yrs in the process of having n raising a baby.i will be completing 33 yr this jan,n not much time to post pone also.
i dont get continous help,but my parents do drop in for help.

but going thro whole process of raising one more kid!te thought itself tires me...............

I could see my own son's attitude change in the +ve manner when he had his sister in his life when he was 4.5 years.Although my son now and then complaints of me giving more importance to my daughter , most of the time , he understands that she needs extra care for the reason that she is less mature than himself. I make him realize this. Both are studying in the same school now.
He is possessive of her. He loves dropping her at her prekg classroom. My son is in his 3rd std. He makes her take bath and dresses her up (may be not perfect). I just encourage him do that so that he takes respoinsibility. He shares things. He no more feels lonely or left out.
When he was 2 to 3 years. My son used to be scared of even at the bang of a door/window or calling bell. Forget about thunder and diwali crackers. For me it used to be a nightmare . My son looked like a coward , phobia filled kid , no socializing kind.
When he was a single child, he was always curdling in the hands of someone or the other thus making himself feel insecure when there was no known person around.
In fact i put him in a school (P.Kg) and finally discontinued in just 2 months owing to the reason that he seemed to be more fearful on something in the school (may be the darkness of classroom or the sound of kids crying etc..not sure even today). I just discontinued and made him go to my brother's house at hyderabad for 10 days with my mother. There he played with his cousin (almost same age) heartful and everyone said that he was more happier and cheerful. After his return I put him in a play school and not in PreKg.I put him in LKG directly after realizing his needs( in a different and better school)
After all this experience I realized that my son is longing for companion and hence I decided to go for the next one when right time comes..
This is my very personal experience. If your first kid is very socializing and is ok being a single kid then it is you who has to decide upon it based on your personal situations.

Yes i too agree that this is something which has to be decided on ones personal experience and the family around them and also keeping in mind todays scenario of raising kids and considering what is affordable for them to give the kid a good living standard and themselves too enjoy their life and not overburden themselves.

I have a younger sis and brother and have always had very close hearty relations with them. EVen after my marriage we have been very impt parts of each others lives but we also realsie the fact that because our parents had 3 kids to raise and they had been the kinds to give us good studies, good living and turn us into independent individuals...they did succeed in this but they never led a single day to themselves. Their each day was for us... struggling, planning, compromising, adjusting. We always used to feel hurt about this but never did they ever complain till date. My parents have become old much before their age due to all this stress. Had they stopped even after 2 things would have been different. We both sis after our marriages try our best to support them in all possible ways and by Gods grace we are blessed with good families. Many a times we say God has blessed our parents and we got such families as a reward to their struggle but they are never ready to take any kinds of assistance from us.

Times have now changed..... everything is so very much costlier...competition is rising like hell in each feild...so are the illnesses in daily life. Considering what our parents lost - their own life in nurturing us, and considering that we wish to lead a comfortable if not a luxurious life and give the bets possible to our DD, me and my DH have decided to stop after 1 and so are the plans of my sis till yet. We have many financial responsibilties on our shoulders and our DD falls ill very soon. SHe's just 3 and has reached hospital twice already and after those episodes she hardly stays well for say 15-20 days at a stretch. Although some of u might count this being cold or something but medical costs on such illnesses and on aging in laws are also to be considered along with all factors...as its always very impt to have financial security for any unforseen circumstances.

I hope we be able to do whats right and best for our DD.
DR.Supriya

Let me tell you my story. We are three girls in my family.
My youngest sister is 10 years younger to me. Still we have a very good rapport. When I was in school age, I used to feel that I should be the only child for my parents. Having grown up I now feel blessed to have siblings. It gives me a lot of inner strength.
Friends will be there for you, but like someone said earlier, you have to really watch what you talk and you can not have a hearty fight for the fear of the friend leaving you.

I was thinking of having only one baby for all the same good reasons given by our fellow IL friends.
Do you know want to know what happened? I am blessed with Twins and I think I am done.

I think the decision is a personal one that is dependent on so many factors. I myself have a sibling but I am not on close terms with my sibling due to family issues. Growing up I have often resented that I am constantly compared and given a raw deal.

It depends on how the parents are able to bring up kids both from a monetary standpoint and from an emotional standpoint. Are they able to devote their time, attention and love to all of their children? Are they mature enough to raise them understanding their individual needs and unique personalities? Are they financially capable of raising one or more than one child?

Bringing a child into the world is the easy part. Raising the child to be a well adjusted, happy and confident individual is the challenge.

My eldest will be 6 tomorrow. She has two siblings(b/g twins) and I cannot think of any other way my life could be.
For 4.5 years my eldest was the only one but looking back now I think I gave my kid the greatest gift, which she can cherish having a family support in US living away from other family members. All of them have each other's (or will have) support.
My sister and I were fighting like cats and dogs when we were young but looking back now, I think I miss those days. Now we are good friends, a good support shoulders to each others in times of help, advice and decision making.

Well,
This thread is live again..
Nice.. every one have their own perception...single or 2 or more...
but not all single children are spoilt and not all children with siblings grow well.We have a mixed ratio of both...it all depends on the parents, the surroundings and other family members as to how a child is groomed...

I think the topic aimed at understanding the best for ones 1st child, isn't it....???
We have had mixed opinions here...nice, what ever may be the decision, if you feel you are doing the best to your child then I guess you need to stand firm in you decisions....
my Vote still remains for 2 min...
There are a lot of advantages , yes drawbacks as well of being with a sibling no doubt...but the later part of life that our children would have..if they are with a sibling they get to enjoy only the advantages....
singles wold miss out a lot..

JMO.

Love,
Kavitha.