Anger Management Among Children

Anger management among children is very tough so one needs to tread on it with care. Start early like how u start on food and clothing and other necessities, you may detect a certain "look in the eye," the tone of voice or the tightness in the body. Help your child to observe these signs right at the onset of anger.

1.It would be a great observation on your part when u notice your child getting anger, there could be heaving of breath and constriction near the throat and tight fist with anger written all over the face.

2. If they are too young you can start diverting them like showing anything of interest or singing and telling a story with do you know what happened kind of stuff, try to play a ball or take them on a ride in the bike but it is always trying to calm the baby first, before giving food or drink, helps to get the child to like what they eat or drink.

3. Train your child to respond to your "signal" like your hand motion to stay calm. Give that signal as soon as your child starts "stewing" about something.

4. Teach them young as to how they should come out with their expression and ask them if their pride is hurt, do they feel let down, humiliated, embarrassed, and how to walk away from the scene without bursting out and stay calm and then come back to the scene to express their anguish in a calm manner.

5. we find many a time children telling it is not fair take note of this and try to handle it by asking why the child felt so, and while he is narrating please do not negate and rush to conclusion, pl hear the child out with utmost patience. If the child refuses to be distracted or engaged in dialoguing about his or her anger and starts yelling, stomping or breaking an object, impose appropriate consequences. It's better to have these consequences in place to serve as a guideline. That means that you have discussed them with your children beforehand and written them out for future reference.

6. It is better to set a standard of penalty or withdrawal of some privilege, to help him to control his emotions into a time frame and allow him to set himself the standard which in future will help him to give himself the time to get back to the issue, rather than having an outburst and regretting later.

7. How about your anger management? I find parents loose out a lot more and have no patience in hearing out the child, so one has to set as example if one wants the child have a good future; all these play a very good base to psychologically develop the child for a better future.

8. Never talk about the negative qualities of a child, even about a disease the child is afflicted with, sometime this leads to the withdrawal symptom which other wise the child would express well. Always try to talk about the plus point of a child not an imagination one but the real ones.

9. A child who is not academically good may be very good in painting, do not pressurize the child to fulfill your dreams, this leads more to disaster, always help the child to form an opinion on his own and giving an option to choose and also help him saying what you feel is good but at the same time giving space.

10. If one of the parent is not able to manage their temper the other parent should never side any either the spouse or the child even when asked about opinion it should be a silence then to be tackled in a separate situation or later part of day alone with spouse never in front of the child..

11. One thing that makes many parents angry is to see their own child challenging their authority and defying them. Sometimes, it may appear so, but that may not be the intention of the child. For example, a child may be too unhappy to be told "No.' because he or she wants it so badly. Of course, you shouldn't give in to the wishes of the child, but try to understand what might really be the intention of your child.

12. Some children get upset when they know they made a mistake. Instead of admitting their mistake, they act out in anger to deflect the attention off them. If you realize that that might be the case, it's helpful to say to your child, "Everyone makes mistakes. I am okay with it. Don't feel so bad about it."
13. Children, who in anger lash out at others, should be often reminded of such consequences as going to the Principal's office, being detained and losing privileges at home. Even if it the fight between the siblings and you not been there on the scene it is better to penalize both for the same, rather than trying to appreciate one for the other.

14. Always try to take children for socializing this plays a very important role and give a loop but with the noose in your hand, here again do not be too strict, just supervise and have a good talk if any mistake is done only after u reach home never on the scene,
Your facial expression is one thing the child will read like a book so you can make the child understand your displeasure rather than screaming or getting into ferocious activity like hammering away or throwing objects to prove your anger.

15. Always never hesitate to say sorry, as that is tolerance and you will be imbibing the habit in the child by doing so, as adults when we can say sorry nothing harm in the growing years for a person to say sorry, be calm when the child rebukes but handle it in a way that all human do make mistake but learn a lot to handle from that.

16. If it is a girl child be the first to tell her about the mysteries of life, when young help her to control her cranky mood by admitting you had the same around that age, and how to handle it, the child will feel comfort at these statements, let not her friend misguide her into wrong information’s that could lead to false impression about life and its relations.

17. The worst damage by an adult in which one can incur the most damage in context of personal relationships, is anger, not only does it wreck a family relationship but leads you away from your loved ones, the hurt that one can inflict on loved ones with out knowing the repercussions can lead to a unrepeatable damage which can never be rolled back.

We as human can never be sane and calm all our life, and the present situation of high pressures of work does lead to a lot many depressions but let us not stunt the mental growth of our children, let us be careful how we tend to their feelings and it is our responsibility to bring in a wonderful human to this world.

Some tips here to enable yourself to bring about a good change in your child.

Join some meditation classes and learn to control your mind and deal with anger

Learn the technique of transference that is to divert when in anger and may be hit at punching bag, or hold a stress ball, or lie inside a cool tub of water, take a chilled shower.

Try to reach for the underlying cause of your anger so that you will be able to manage them in the future, and try to analyze the deep lying frustration which bursts without provocation.

Anger is always the result of a hurtful action of a loved one, when that is the case try to interact with that person and resolve the issue.

Always remember to err is human and that is applicable to all including you,
So do not frustrate when you are unable to reach the target, or able to provide the family as much you would had wanted to, one is a great help by being a moral support sometime rather than being the main provider.

Learn and teach forgiveness among children and impose a time to teach self the same
One can stand in front of the mirror which many a time I have done and when you go into analyzing the situation it does help to see your self talking the other side of the issue too, it is easier to conclude this way, train your mind to forgive each time something crops up, you will help yourself out of many unnecessary situations in the long run, when you walk away, you tend to help the other person think again whether he is right or wrong on the issue.

People always get angry when others do not meet the expectations of the person, remember and accept that what actually happens, need not be to your expectation, as each person has their view to a particular issues and it is not that they are not doing but it could definitely differ from your view.

Even a film script write when brings in scenes and dialogues it is definitely going to be different by the time the scenes are finished with sometime exceeding and one has to accept and appreciate it.

If nothing helps do join some anger management groups and go in for the therapy to help yourself and to help people living around you….happy managing of life…sunkan

Great tips!!!

Thanks for that big piece of advice. At times I resort to a tactics that I dont notice what my daughter is doing. Then she will come back..but only at times!!

Originally Posted by anumdas

Thanks for that big piece of advice. At times I resort to a tactics that I dont notice what my daughter is doing. Then she will come back..but only at times!!

thanku anumdas,
just be tender yet firm..sunkan

Hi Mam,

Awesome tips . A must for all the parents. Thanks a ton for sharing it with us.