Iss feeling ko kya naam doon (How should I name this feeling ???)

Iss feeling ko kya naam doon​

I got my job after my marriage. I was a fresher in an IT company when I conceived. Then onwards I started to have a strange feeling which I couldn't figure out so far what was it. Hopefully you can help me out to name it exactly.


During pregnancy, everybody used to advise me to have dinner by 7pm and rest. Parents and Parents-In-Law used to get angry as I used to reach home only by 10pm, then cook and eat. Sab log mufth ka salah tho dete, kisiko meri khayal nahi, aur bolte hai main badi laaparwahi maa hoon jo bachchi ke liye dhyan nahi deti -- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon??? anger, frustration, helplessness??? :rant

Then my little angel arrived ,and soon after, the day also arrived when I had to leave her and go to office :bang. Parents In Law have come to baby sit her. Whenever DD falls sick, MIL used to say "You didn't breast feed her all the time, You were very eager to join back office, thats why her immunity is so low. You are such a reckless mother to throw the kid on our face, and enjoy in office" :idontgetit:
(I joined back only when my daughter turned 7th month, and we had started off the solid foods. And, I took leave whenever she fell sick). --- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon??? --- Anger, frustration, helplessness ... Jaisi karni, waisi bharni (I was the one who insisted for parents in law to come over) :bonk

When my Parents In Law wanted to go back to their hometown, my DD went to Daycare. My dearest father was feeling very pity of my DD and says "You are such a heartless mother to send her to Daycare, poor little girl she is suffering all the time in Daycare). --- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon??? mere pass koi shabdh nahi hain isske liye :confused2:

My DD turned 3 and we are attending to the school interviews. She failed in one of the school oral interviews because she didn't instantly responded to the Principal request to sing a rhyme. School principal says "If you go to school, who will teach your kid. You are such a money-minded mother" -- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon? Puzzled ??? :rant

(Fortunately, we took admission in a different school, though this principal offered admission to my DD . I pity those teachers in that school who have children).

Now its turn of those mothers who sacrificed their careers for the well-being of their children, and show so much affection for my daughter saying "Oh!! you work, and thats why you dont have any time to spend with your daughter. Thats why her academic grades are not very well" -- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon??? jealous, anger, frustration :crazy

(My DD was getting A+ grade, though not topper of the class. Mujhe ye baath samajh mein nahin aatha, Aakhir kitane log top kar sakte hai class mein)

Later those fortunate home makers enters in to the story telling me "OH My God!! You are working, and you don't have time to check for her school activities, no time to talk to other parents, then how will you know about school. Thats why your DD is not winning any prizes in activities" -- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon???? jealous, jealous, and jealous
(School gives only 3 prizes while 100 students are competing. My DD is not among those fortunate 3. I started to seriously think to advise school to give prizes to everyone)

Then comes my poor mother who always feels that I am working extra extra hard always, and carrying the whole earth's responsibility on my shoulders, and wants to give me rest by teaching my daughter "Dont Ask your mother for everything, she is going to office and can't do anything for you" -- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon???? ENOUGH PLEASE :drowning

When I hear all these comments, I just remember

--- My determination not to take any leave during pregnancy, and save those few days as well to spend after my DD arrives (How reckless I am )
--- those countless nights when I used to sleep along with DD, and later keep an alarm @ 11pm to finish the household chore till 12:30 am or 1am and sleep again (how heartless I am to leave the DD in her sleep)
--- Those daily marathons I used to make to catch the bus in morning to office. I dont want to miss the marathon because it gives me few more minutes to spend for my DD
(here I should thank those autowallahs in stand near my house who were so kind enough to request the bus driver to stop for one more minute when they see my marathon for me to catch the bus as they are so much used to my marathons)

And, Want to shout and tell everyone

Dear Parents and Parents In Law

We know YOU ARE THE BEST PARENTS we can ever see, but trust us, we love her so much as much as you love us, we can take care of her. We don't need your sympathy, we need just small help from you. Please don't poison her mind saying "Your Mom works, so she can't do anything for you". I am fine if you are unable to say "Though your mom works, she loves you, and takes care of you"

Dear School Principals

Do not judge the children on the first instant. They are not arrogant, probably they don't like your old look

My Dear Home Makers

We too care for our DD, we track her school records, we read to her, we teach her, we make her write and we do all those endless activities that you will be doing to your DD/DS.

MY DD DOESN'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY, SHE IS GOOD IN HER OWN WAY, SHE IS UNIQUE.


And, then comes this weird feeling, When My Little Angel comes and tell me

You are the BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST Mom in the world
(My DD wants to put always 8 Best , dont know why) arty

-- Iss feeling ko main kya naam doon ?? Happy or Revenge on the whole world who were sympathizing
(My DD about to turn 7 years now. )