Dear Srikkanth

Hi Ilites!
Please go through the attachment which is addressed to my 2nd son. It was written last year when he was to enter the college.The letter was sent to him through e-mail. It is self-explanatory. Now he is going to complete his 1st year in engg. in Shastra, Tanjore.
I am sure this letter will be of great help to parents whose kids are to go to college this year in the sense how to tackle poor or "not up to once standard" performance. I don't believe in reprimanding the child. If a child does not understand the language of "Love" then no other language will work. Hence try Love and see the result.
Malathi

Dear Srikkanth,

This is a letter to you with an open-heart from your mother, which you would have least expected through e-mail. If you would have gone through the pages of history, you would know that Nehru used to write motivating and inspirational letters to his daughter Indira who later on became the prime minister of this country. Even Chatrapathi Sivaji’s mother used to tell stories of courage and valour to her young son which made him a personification of courage at a later stage. I have always found communication easier with Hari because he was more receptive, whether he liked it or not. But with both you and dad, I feel a little jittery because you get irritated. Still, I feel I would not be performing my duty if I keep mum when I need to speak. I may not be a great model mother and may have erred at times in dealing with relationships but I felt that should not stop me from sharing my feelings with you at a very important point of your life. By writing a mail, both of us have an advantage- if you do not feel like reading this nonsensical bickering of an emotionally- charged mother, you can just press the “Delete” button and you are relieved, and I can rest at peace that I have conveyed all that I have ever wanted to convey and relax for having performed my duty as a mother. I believe that a person who cannot express his/her emotions is only a part human being because expression of emotions is a gift from the Supreme Being to every living creature on earth. Even animals express their joys and sorrows.
Let me first congratulate you for your good performance in your board exam. I am very happy with it especially because it was the reward for your intelligence. But suppose you had combined intelligence with hard work, may be, it would have taken you places. As far as your AIEEE is concerned, I have nothing to say except that I feel sorry as a mother, not because you performed badly but because you were upset about it. Let this be a lesson to you in life that success and failures are common in life. More important still is to analyze whether that failure was deserved and if so how to overcome it.
First and fore-most I want you to know that I have no intention of nagging you or boring you with my advices and suggestions. As a parent I feel I have certain duties and responsibilities towards you and Hari to prepare you to be good and responsible citizens towards this country in particular and the world in general.
After seeing your results you would best know whether it has been fully satisfactory or not because you were the one who prepared for it. Now that you are entering your adulthood in a few more years it is very important that you decide about your career with true earnest. By this I do not mean, just what course you want to take in your college. All these years you have been carefree and enjoying every bit of your life and I am sure as parents both dad and me would have given you all that you have ever wanted. Of course, you may have felt at some time of your life a little bit that dad was not communicative or expressive enough but he has always given whatever things you have asked for without even a weak denial At the same time let me also admit that their could have been failures on my part towards some of your expectations which were unintentional. Pardon me for that.
Now let me come to more important things. It is time to decide what exactly you want out of yourself. As parents we would be happy with whatever you choose to do. We do not have any particular expectations from you except that ‘be the best’ of whatever you are. I know that you love computers and would love to make a career out of it. But the question is how far do you want to traverse in that field? Would you be satisfied by just finishing your graduation and be employed in an MNC with a fat salary or would you like to contribute something more to this field? As a mother who has been interacting with you quite well to know a little about you, my instinct tells me that you are a cut above the rest amongst the kids of your age in the field of computers. Of course, from your point of view, you may think it as an exaggeration. But as a mother I feel proud of you and, may be because of that motherly instinct, exaggerating things. But you don’t get carried away by my feelings blindly. You judge yourself mercilessly and find out for yourself where you stand. And from that place take the first step towards your goal and don’t rest till you have achieved it. Let not there be any diversions and distractions from that path till you have reached the destination.
At this moment I would like you to realize that nothing is achievable without the grace of that all pervading Supreme Being in whatever way or form you perceive it. Never forget to take its blessings before any endeavour and also never forget to thank too. Surrender all the fruits of your labour to that Supreme power.
Even as you read books for pleasure, take some time off to read books on our scriptures too because they are a fountain-head of knowledge. Our modern science owes its existence to our scriptures and Vedas. Of course it is difficult for the present generation to accept the facts since the foreigners have distorted all our scriptures for their selfish gains or because of lack of understanding of the Sanskrit language.
To sum up all that I wanted to say, whatever you do, wherever you are, be a wonderful human-being, helping all who are in need of anything, whether material or knowledge .Don’t fall into bad habits and bad company because, to get out of it is very difficult. Never let your ego become your master, for then, you are sure to fall. Money will come and go but human values will be the only ones that will give ever-lasting joy and peace.
Love and best wishes for a bright and wonderful future,
Mummy

Dear Malathy,

I must say, this is one of the best letters I have read in my life. The intentions are clear, and the expressions are candid. The emotion of love runs through the entire piece. What I liked most about your letter and the fact that you wrote it as a letter, is that you treat your son as a responsible person. Not as a child who needs advice, not as an adult who can be left to his decisions. You consider him as an individual in need of guidance. You offer it and then you set him free to do his own will. Read it or not, act on it or not.

It is one of the most inspiring pieces of parenting I have come across.

I am sure with a mom like you, Srikkanth and his brother will become valuable members of the family, community and the universe.

I would like to nominate this piece for the Finest posts contest. Can you please post this directly in IL, rather than make us open the document?

regards
Vidya

Dear Malathy,
your letter is exactly similar to what I told my son when he went to hostel and then to u s. Heis nowa very adorable,responsible,mature young man.I feel I have done m,y duty.
Regards,
Meenu

Dear Malathy,

It is a well thought out article and I appreciate the way you have worded it. It reflects a fine balance as a mother and friend.

I am also not able to open the document easily even though it is a word document. So could you please post your MS word documents directly?

Keep your lovely thoughts flowing, dear

Dear Malathi,

That letter had 'Mother' written all over it, not just in the signature!
You might hear many moms telling you, include me in it, that your letter echoes their words to their children, said at one time or another.
But you have put it lucidly in black and white and I will not be surprised if this will now be referred to by many a young mother in IL.
I feel writing down your doubts, wishes and aspirations to your loved ones is far more effective then speaking them out. Words while spoken, get misinterpreted. Many of us only think about doing it and do not end up doing. You have set a good example and the letter was touching and will touch every mom.
Now I am curious...how did sonny boy react to it??:)
Great writing Malathi.

L, Kamla

Dear Malathy,

I echo Vidhya's reply......very well written letter and the best way to convey what we want to without interruption or misinterpretation by our little , loved ones!
I have a daughter and it has never been a problem to express anything and everything to her always.....maybe itis different with boys; many of my friends have envied me for having a daughter who is always talking and sharing views etc while their sons dont share emotions so easily! I dont know if it is same with all, but just voiced what my friends always say!
But lovely piece of writing, conveying exactly what u want to say! Planning to share it with my 20 year old daughter!
Like Kamala has asked what was your son's reaction!?

Dear Malathi,

Your letter to your son is so eloquent and heartfelt. The letter clearly states your mentality and how you treat your son as an individual, guiding him to a wonderful future instead of bombarding him with your advice. This letter does not have the feel of advice coming from a mom but rather a heartfelt lettter from an experienced friend and also a loving mom. Loved reading it. Thanks for sharing your letter with us here. With the guidance of a mom like you, your sons Hari and Srikkanth will no doubt be respesctable adults in this world.

Regards,
Jothi.

Would you believe? I am yet to get a reply! But I know that the message would have reached him. And I am a positive thinking woman."Do thy duty and leave the rest to God!"
Thanks for your prompt reply,
Malathi

Originally Posted by sudhavnarasimhan

Dear Malathy,

I echo Vidhya's reply......very well written letter and the best way to convey what we want to without interruption or misinterpretation by our little , loved ones!
I have a daughter and it has never been a problem to express anything and everything to her always.....maybe itis different with boys; many of my friends have envied me for having a daughter who is always talking and sharing views etc while their sons dont share emotions so easily! I dont know if it is same with all, but just voiced what my friends always say!
But lovely piece of writing, conveying exactly what u want to say! Planning to share it with my 20 year old daughter!
Like Kamala has asked what was your son's reaction!?

Thankyou one and all who have responded to my thread. I hope that it will be useful for all mothers.

Originally Posted by vidya24

Dear Malathy,

I must say, this is one of the best letters I have read in my life. The intentions are clear, and the expressions are candid. The emotion of love runs through the entire piece. What I liked most about your letter and the fact that you wrote it as a letter, is that you treat your son as a responsible person. Not as a child who needs advice, not as an adult who can be left to his decisions. You consider him as an individual in need of guidance. You offer it and then you set him free to do his own will. Read it or not, act on it or not.

It is one of the most inspiring pieces of parenting I have come across.

I am sure with a mom like you, Srikkanth and his brother will become valuable members of the family, community and the universe.

I would like to nominate this piece for the Finest posts contest. Can you please post this directly in IL, rather than make us open the document?

regards
Vidya

I have submitted a new thread again as original and not as an attachment.I attach files because I find that there is no cut and paste option in this site and it takes a long time to type out. Also I find it boring to re type the same thing all over again. Any way, from now on I will type directly.

Originally Posted by chitrajan

Dear Malathy,

It is a well thought out article and I appreciate the way you have worded it. It reflects a fine balance as a mother and friend.

I am also not able to open the document easily even though it is a word document. So could you please post your MS word documents directly?

Keep your lovely thoughts flowing, dear