Lending & Borowing

All say don't lend goods & money to anyone ever. Is it possible living in a society not to help others by giving what we can spare. We have our loved ones & friend whom we would like to help when they need it ( money or goods) but i know most of the time the giver lands into trouble because of this. Either he never gets his money back, or it's not within the time decided.
Lending money creates tension among the relations. But even knowing all this how can one stop oneself from falling into this situation. If one gives it is problem, if doesn't give more bigger problem. What to Do?