Any mommies on IL who practise Attachment Parenting?

Hi Gauri,

Its very pleasant to read your post. I am one among them who supports natural ways of rising kids as back in India. I am married and would be planning for kids in near future. I have been searching for people who supports cloth diapers.

I prefer cloth diapers than disposable dispers because disposable diapers contaings few chemicals to freeze urine in to gel. these diapers will harm kids in future effecting their reproductive systems.

I also prefer baby's in cloth strings/beside parents rather than in creddles , cribs as having baby by ur side creates better attachment

I dont prefer teethers, dolls and modern day toys as they consists high amounts of lead which harms the kids health

I have been seraching for these information, as i want my kids to be raised in toxic free environment. I know it is not 100% posible but we can atleast give our best.

Hope this information is useful for mommies

Swasha

 

Gauri, then come and join the mommies here.
I did do a lot of those 5 Bs of attachment parenting that Dr Sears talk about - fell off the bandwagon about CD-ing a lot and return to it once in a while. Right now, we are raising our three year old here with gentle disciplining. A lot of the time I have had to unlearn my conditioning and learn to listen to my maternal instincts rather than follow the conventional way of raising a child.
I do lead a very alternative life for that matter and I think my AP methods are an extension of that.
But more than anything else for me, it is a challenge and very, very important to be responsive to my kid. It is really sad that that kind of responsive parenting is not a part of our mainstream thought processes.
Anyway, feel free to visit the infants and toddlers sections and share your experiences with us.

 

Hi Gauri! I did and do follow many, probably most, of the tenets of AP (didnt do the sling and had a C-section but all the rest of it, yes) but I wouldnt call myslef by any particular label because I never have liked the idea of labelling parenting as being "this" or "that". I actually discovered that what I do has a name well after I started to follow certain practices - to me it was instinctive and I still believe that our gut instinct (and a certain amount of knowledge of course) is the best way to bring up our children. How old is your LO? Hope to see you more often around here

Vanathi.

 

Gauri, here in Chennai I had to defend my parenting choices to random strangers too. When DS was 8 months old, our car was rear-ended by another vehicle and had to lodge a complaint. The police were completely disoriented by an urban, english-speaking woman wanting to breastfeed her child. I did ask for a quiet room because DS was in his distractible phase. One officer kept telling me his wife gives their child cereals and formula, so why dont I? I got a quiet corner in the police station to bf, I wonder if that would have been possible in another country.
I am guessing urban India is mostly Americanised. A breastfeeding support group that I was part of actually found it funny that someone who lives in India was not allowed to practice what they thought was integral to its culture.
Cheers to your ultra-liberal-tree-hugging-earth-mamma ways. May your tribe flourish.
As far as medical professionals go, I have seen the extremes in both sides. When, as a pregnant reporter, I interviewed a paed who is an lactational activist, I was told moms can exclusively bf their children for up to a year without it impacting the child's eating habits. I have also met those who said breast milk loses its nutritional value after the 4th month.
Then there is DS's paed, who did suggest weaning at 4th month. But when we told her of our concerns about allergies and wanting to delay solids, she became our rock. I bfed my child till he was 29 months old and she had never raised an eyebrow at that.
We chose not to discuss our child's sleep habits or bedroom with our paed! Neither has she ever asked us about it. We seek her expertise about medical issues and if ever we need, nutritional issues. But I dont see how where the child sleeps or how well he sleeps is anybody elses business. Unless I complain, of course.
We also meet her socially and she has seen me carry DS in a mei tai quite often but never has asked me to stop it. She has also worked with us in spacing out the vaccines to reduce distress for the child. We, personally, find her very open. I wonder how easy any of it would have been had we not had her understanding of issues and willingness to listen on our side!

 

I am a doc myself (pedi) and my doc friends are mostly with me on the BFing, co-sleeping etc. I am extremely fortunate to live in small town India where everyone co-sleeps so there are absolutely no hassles about that. I was asked about "still BFing" a few times but I think as a doc it was relatively easy for me to do it (I didnt do extended BFing anyway; DS self-weaned at 13 mnths). I do however advocate it to all my patients moms and anybody else who asks too. Strollers are unheard of here but so are slings; people simply carry their children here. The only problem I have here is with discipline that does not involve beating/spanking. Thats considered a bit odd but even there I have found most parents easy to convince - grandparents are way harder. Sometimes I'm so very glad I live in non-metro India!

V.

 

Welcome here Gauri, :cheers like Aadhusmom puts it, I too have been practising AP intuitively, whatever worked for me, though I knew the name later Here, most docs are supportive, for extended BFg, solids at 6months, co-sleeping, advocating home-made solids, CDg, etc. I have met a few in the other kind too! Babywearing is something thats not known here, but I have seen in my DH's native village, mommies carrying their babies in their cotton sarees and doing some light work in the farm
Do pls visit/post your experiences in the infant and toddler sections here, this is a wonderful place and yaa I know what you mean by like-minded mommas )))))) :thumbsup for your ways ))))))))))

 

Hi Gauri,
it is indeed nice to read your post. I am surprised that there is a name for such type of parenting. I have brought up my son that way and feel that it is best this way. My son is 18 now and I find that he is different from his peers in many ways, am happy about that.He is compassionate and caring. He is adjustable and is not fussy about food. Even today, he put his head on my lap and slept off for an hour. I enjoy such show of love though I have a detached-attachment type of love. (He had come for the week end from his hostel)

 

Gauri,I'm like you too and surely feel like a mis-fit here in the U.S.
I have 2 kids-one is 7 +yrs and the other just turned 2 .

My first one was born in India and so was on cloth diapers only,no strollers, and co-sleeping was not even considered a problem since we never heard of this thing being such a big problem until we landed here in the U.S after he turned 2.Also,I BFed him till 18 mnths and then he weaned himself. Only after he turned 3 1/2 did we even consider buying a separate bed for him and that too,because of his constant kicking and we ending up with back aches.Till he turned 7,he used to sleep in a separate bed in our room itself.

For my second one,I BFed him till 15 mths and then had to wean him due to my medical problem. We do use diapers for the convenience it provides since we have a carpeted home.Now,I am slowly trying to get him to normal underwear.He has a stroller which we use only when we go on long trips once in 6 mnths.At all other times,we carry him and after he completed 15 mnths,he walks everywhere with us.He co-slept with us till about 3 mnths back.Now,we have got him and his brother a bunk bed and a separate room for themselves.It is just that,a separate room,no nursery type decoration or anything else,just a room to sleep!
He does wake up once or twice in the nights and then,one of us will go lie down with him .Works fine with us.

Since this was the way I was brought up,I assumed that is how everyone else too, from our country especially ,brings up their kids. It is only off-late that I have been seeing and hearing it from parents here,their different approach to child-rearing and it does amuse me.